Post by politicidal on Jun 14, 2018 0:02:15 GMT
If anyone follows this type of thing, the article discusses the notorious screenplay that featured human-dinosaur hybrids. The drug dealers and swiss supervillains are new to me though.
TEXT:
Its hero is an unemployed mercenary named Nick Harris. Jurassic Park founder John Hammond recruits him for a dangerous mission to Isla Nublar and the ruins of the original park. Hammond needs Harris to find the shaving cream can full of dinosaur embryos stolen in the first film by Wayne Knight’s Dennis Nedry, who died during his escape from the island. Another company has bought Isla Nublar, and Hammond is terrified they will find the embryos and use them for evil purposes.
It was clearly established in Jurassic Park that Nedry’s Barbasol can only had enough coolant in it to preserve the embryos for 36 hours, but whatever; Harris accepts the assignment and travels to Costa Rica. He manages to find the can, and evade the island’s dinosaurs, but he’s attacked by soldiers working for the park’s new owners. He stashes the embryos, then gets knocked out and captured. And that’s when things get really weird.
Nick wakes up in a medieval castle in the Swiss Alps of all places, where he’s held hostage by Baron Herman Von Drax, a name I swear I did not make up. Von Drax wants those darn embryos, and while he negotiates with Harris, he shows him his prized possessions: A team of highly-trained, genetically-engineered raptors that can be controlled via hormone injections. Von Drax makes Harris an offer he can’t refuse: Use his unique warrior skills to finish training these raptors for combat, and maybe he won’t feed him to his pet dinos.
Then Nick trains the raptors to become raptor soldiers. Raptoldiers, if you will.
As part of their training, Nick leads the dinosaurs on several rescue operations which Sayles’ script goes to hilarious lengths to prove could only be handled by a team of highly trained raptors. For example, Von Drax’s henchman Joyce tell Nick about a little girl who’s been kidnapped. Nick suggests they put together a team of expert special forces dudes to find her. No way, says Joyce; they’ll never find her in time! Okay, why not have just one dinosaur sniff out the kid and then send in the SEALs? Won’t work, Joyce insists! They keep the girl in the center of the room, so a firefight would be too dangerous. No, this looks like a job for... raptoldiers!
At the end of the film, the raptors turn on their masters (of course), Nick saves the hidden embryos he retrieved from Jurassic Park, and returns them to Hammond. Rejuvenated by his time training de-extinct death beasts from 65 million years ago to triangulate enemy positions, he lives happily ever after — or at least until the growing dinosaur population on Earth reaches the point that it destroys human civilization.
Sayles’ script (which you can still find and read in its entirety online, because the internet is an even better preservative than ancient amber) opens in fairly standard Jurassic Park fashion (pterodons attack a Little League game) but after Harris’ introductory jaunt to Central America, it takes a sharp left turn into Crazy Town. The climactic action scene involves a raid on a drug kingpin’s compound, culminating in a parody of the end of Scarface — plus freaking dinosaurs.
It was clearly established in Jurassic Park that Nedry’s Barbasol can only had enough coolant in it to preserve the embryos for 36 hours, but whatever; Harris accepts the assignment and travels to Costa Rica. He manages to find the can, and evade the island’s dinosaurs, but he’s attacked by soldiers working for the park’s new owners. He stashes the embryos, then gets knocked out and captured. And that’s when things get really weird.
Nick wakes up in a medieval castle in the Swiss Alps of all places, where he’s held hostage by Baron Herman Von Drax, a name I swear I did not make up. Von Drax wants those darn embryos, and while he negotiates with Harris, he shows him his prized possessions: A team of highly-trained, genetically-engineered raptors that can be controlled via hormone injections. Von Drax makes Harris an offer he can’t refuse: Use his unique warrior skills to finish training these raptors for combat, and maybe he won’t feed him to his pet dinos.
Then Nick trains the raptors to become raptor soldiers. Raptoldiers, if you will.
As part of their training, Nick leads the dinosaurs on several rescue operations which Sayles’ script goes to hilarious lengths to prove could only be handled by a team of highly trained raptors. For example, Von Drax’s henchman Joyce tell Nick about a little girl who’s been kidnapped. Nick suggests they put together a team of expert special forces dudes to find her. No way, says Joyce; they’ll never find her in time! Okay, why not have just one dinosaur sniff out the kid and then send in the SEALs? Won’t work, Joyce insists! They keep the girl in the center of the room, so a firefight would be too dangerous. No, this looks like a job for... raptoldiers!
At the end of the film, the raptors turn on their masters (of course), Nick saves the hidden embryos he retrieved from Jurassic Park, and returns them to Hammond. Rejuvenated by his time training de-extinct death beasts from 65 million years ago to triangulate enemy positions, he lives happily ever after — or at least until the growing dinosaur population on Earth reaches the point that it destroys human civilization.
Sayles’ script (which you can still find and read in its entirety online, because the internet is an even better preservative than ancient amber) opens in fairly standard Jurassic Park fashion (pterodons attack a Little League game) but after Harris’ introductory jaunt to Central America, it takes a sharp left turn into Crazy Town. The climactic action scene involves a raid on a drug kingpin’s compound, culminating in a parody of the end of Scarface — plus freaking dinosaurs.