JAKE SKYWALKER is canon - and TLJ is explained!

Jake Skywalker was a human male who became a hermit on an island and failed to revive the Jedi Order.

He was falsely accused of being the real Luke Skywalker, until evidence in the Last Jedi proven to be false. He tried to kill his pussy nephew, Ben Solo, in his sleep for he has foreseen that his nephew would turn into Darth Hipster. He lived on an island for the rest of his life, until he died by the broken force of this new franchise.

After the Battle of Endor, rumors started spreading that there was two Luke Skywalker's seen on different planets, each with their own complete opposite personalities from each other. One was the optimistic and proud Jedi the Rebel Alliance had seen in the Galactic Civil War. The other was a bitter, whiny and depressed version of this Luke. Word has it that it could be some offspring, secret brother of Luke but there was little evidence to back it up. Other claims are that Jake was actually a 3rd clone of Skywalker, with his real name being "Luuuke"." But these are just speculations on his origin.

In his dream, Jake saw his nephew becoming the thing his so-called "father" became. Instead of trying to set him on the right course like he did with his "father", he embraced cult teachings and tried to kill Ben in his sleep, which fulfilled Jake's vision. Ben became Darth Hipster and joined Empi... I mean First Order along with Snoke to wipe the Jedi out. It was because of Jake that the Jedi have been destroyed. He failed like Yoda and Obi-Wan.

Jake stayed on the island where the first Jedi temple was. He drank green milk instead of blue, from the tits of an ugly creature. Unlike Luke who drinks delicious fresh, blue milk from Bantha, this green milk makes the person appall.

One day a Mary Sue by the name of "Rey" stumbled upon him and asked to be trained. Jake rejected her offer, but she manages to trick him into making him teach her what the Force was. Jake discovered that she shows a significant power unlike any other, including himself, who was the so-called son of the Chosen One; which Rey wasn't. Jake feared her like a coward and hid.

When the opportunity came to try to do something about the Jedi, a false prophet version of Yoda in a force ghost destroyed all knowledge of the Jedi. Jake decided to follow this Yoda by his word. Rey left Jake on the island.

Eventually Jake finally decided to do what is right. He made a force projection of a younger version of himself across the galaxy on a planet similar to Hoth, using the force. He faked a false lightsaber fight with Darth Hipster, where they never cross blades. Hipster managed to stab the projection of Jake, which affected Jake's overall real force or body, whatever it could be, and he died like Obi-Wan and Yoda.