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Post by marianne48 on Nov 18, 2018 3:01:49 GMT
The Honeymooners:
Alice: I call you "Killer," because you slay me.
Ralph: And I'M callin' BELLEVUE, 'cause YOU'RE NUTS!
The Mary Tyler Moore Show:
Ted: Why are you giving a $50 raise to someone who told me to shut up on the air?!
Lou: It's all I can afford, Ted.
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Post by gspdude on Nov 18, 2018 13:16:15 GMT
Cheers:
Cliff: What a pathetic display. I'm ashamed God made me a man.
Carla: I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging either.
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Post by Primemovermithrax Pejorative on Nov 18, 2018 13:59:20 GMT
Star Trek:
Captain James T. Kirk: Mr. Spock. I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
Mr. Spock: You... Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.
Gorn: I weary of the chase. Wait for me. I shall be merciful and quick.
Kirk: Like you were at Cestus 3.
Captain James T. Kirk: No. That won't be necessary. We can talk. Maybe... reach an agreement.
Metron: Very good, Captain. There *is* hope for you. Perhaps, in several thousand years, your people and mine shall meet to reach an agreement. You're still half savage. But there is hope. We will contact you when we're ready.
McCoy: I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer.
Captain James T. Kirk: You're a healer. There's a patient. That's an order.
Spock: Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child...
Capt. Kirk: ...the unfortunate accident he had as a child. He caught his head in a mechanical... rice picker.
Dr. McCoy: Do you know what you just did?
Spock: He knows, Doctor. He knows.
Capt. Kirk: But they do like Vulcans. Well, Mr. Spock, I didn't know you had it in you.
Spock: Obviously, tribbles are very perceptive creatures, Captain.
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Post by Nalkarj on Nov 18, 2018 14:50:00 GMT
Does this count? I’m just doing it from memory.
[SCENE: the Howells and a caveman with two forks and a pie in front of him.]
LOVEY: But where does he come from, Thurston?
THURSTON: Oh, it’s very simple, dear. If he eats with his left fork he’s English. If he eats with his right fork he’s American.
[CAVEMAN smashes his face in the pie.]
THURSTON: Oh, a Yale man!
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Post by amyghost on Nov 18, 2018 15:18:57 GMT
WOJO: Yeah Barney, I guess it's kinda like you and me against the world.
BARNEY: Those are frightening odds, Wojo.
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Post by drystyx on Nov 21, 2018 4:14:38 GMT
Great thread.
I can't remember what Mary says before Lou Grant answers, but my favorite two liner is the one that ends with him and his admiration for spunk. Well, maybe not "admiration".
I'm thinking Beverly Hillbillies had a lot of them, especially with Drysdale and his straight (wo)man Jane. Jethro and Granny had a lot of them, too. Two liner after two liner. I think the one I remember best is with Jane and Jeb, though, when they first meet, and Jed speaks about his nephew, before she ever meets him. He's bragging about the school he went to.
Jane: I presume he went to Eton when he graduated.
Jeb: If I know Jethro, I think he went to Eatin' the day he was born.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Nov 21, 2018 22:04:55 GMT
I can't remember what Mary says before Lou Grant answers, but my favorite two liner is the one that ends with him and his admiration for spunk. Well, maybe not "admiration". Lou Grant: You know, Mary, you've got spunk. Mary Richards: Why, thank you, Mr. Grant. Lou Grant: I hate spunk. |
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Post by BATouttaheck on Nov 21, 2018 22:41:59 GMT
Mary Richards: Well I just wanted to let you know that sometimes I get concerned about being a career woman. I get to thinking that my job is too important to me. And I tell myself that the people I work with are just the people I work with. But last night I thought what is family anyway? It's the people who make you feel less alone and really loved.
[she sobs]
Mary Richards: And that's what you've done for me. Thank you for being MY family.
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Post by Primemovermithrax Pejorative on Nov 22, 2018 5:47:35 GMT
No list would be complete without some I, Claudius:
Livia: You won't forget your promise, will you?
Caligula: To make you a goddess? And what makes you think that a filthy, smelly old woman like you could become a goddess? Let me tell you something: Thrasyllus has made another prophecy. He told Tiberius. He said, "One who is going to die soon will become the greatest god the world has ever known. No temples will be dedicated to anyone but him in the whole Roman world, not even to Augustus." Do you know who that one is? Me. Me. I shall become the greatest god of all. And I shall look down on you suffering all the torments of hell and I shall say, "Leave her there. Leave her there forever and ever and ever."
Tiberius: Do you know him personally?
Caligula: No, but I've slept with his wife several times.
Tiberius: And is deception with the wife regarded these days as a sound introduction to the husband?!
Tiberius: I shall make you my successor, Gaius Caligula! I’ve decided. You shall stay here with me. Rome deserves you. I will nurse you like a viper in her bosom.
Caligula: Is that a joke, uncle?
Tiberius: Not yet, but it will be.
Guard: The girl is a virgin. It's unprecedented to kill a virgin. It will bring bad luck to the city.
Macro: Then make sure she's not a virgin when you kill her. Now get on with it!
Caligula: Do you think I'm mad?...Sometimes I think that I'm going mad. Do you — be honest with me — has that thought ever crossed your mind?
Claudius: Never. Never. The idea is preposterous. You set the standard of sanity for the whole world.
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Nov 22, 2018 6:58:46 GMT
From 'Night Moves' (1975)
Tom Iverson (John Crawford) 'I want that kid the hell out of here. You see, I...I get pretty foolish with her, and I....Well you've seen her. God, there ought to be a law."
Harry Mosby (Gene Hackman) "There is."
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Post by mikef6 on Nov 23, 2018 5:56:57 GMT
How about some British Tele? For instance, Doctor Who-Classic Series. Let’s go back to 1963 and the first series:
Barbara: Oh, look, I don’t understand it any more than you do. The inside of the ship! Suddenly finding ourselves here. Even some of the things Dr. Forman says…
Ian: That’s not his name. Who is he? Doctor who? Perhaps if we knew his name we might have a clue to all this.
From Carnival of Monsters – Third Doctor
Vorg: The generators were built by the old Eternity Perpetual Company. They’re designed to last forever. That’s why the company went bankrupt.
From Pyramids of Mars – Fourth Doctor
Doctor: Deactivating a generator loop without the correct key is like repairing a watch with a hammer and chisel. One false move and you’ll never know the time again.
Also Fourth Doctor:
That’s odd. That’s very odd. Don’t you think that’s very odd?
There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes.
I shall have to go alone, of course. It’s funny. They always want you to go alone when you’re walking into a trap. Have you ever noticed that?
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