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Post by drystyx on Nov 23, 2018 4:05:45 GMT
A month ago, the pastor prayed that the hearts of everyone on the RELIGION, FAITH, AND SPIRITUALITY board would not be hardened, and would all turn to Jesus with 30 days, and that was 31 days ago.
He has proven the power of prayer, and now you are all believers in the Holy Bible, because the prayer was too powerful for anyone to resist. Jesus spoke, and your hearts all opened up. Praise the lord?
So now that you are all loving Christians, I think it is necessary to keep up the discussion for newcomers, so some of you may need to pretend to "not be saved", and some of you should even pretend to be against Christianity. Otherwise, newcomers, the ones not saved, will feel alone and vulnerable, so some of you should pretend that the pastor's prayer didn't work.
Make it convincing. We must save newcomers, so don't frighten them away. Some of you pretend to still have your hearts hardened against the truth of the Holy Bible, so the unsaved newcomer will not feel alienated. We'll all understand.
So, now we're all Christian, yay!
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Post by permutojoe on Nov 23, 2018 4:13:30 GMT
I will assist. Praise Jesus. How long before this thread self destructs by the way?
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Post by goz on Nov 23, 2018 4:28:43 GMT
...and I have set up an atheist 'GoFund Me Page'
collecting money for us to send your pastor on a one way ticket to North Sentinel Islands in the Andaman Sea.
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Post by Catman on Nov 23, 2018 4:30:39 GMT
Catman must have missed that day.
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Post by maya55555 on Nov 23, 2018 4:36:10 GMT
 GOZZY
Do tell us please, when you married your MOTH, who did the ceremony? A Photomat machine? |
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Post by progressiveelement on Nov 23, 2018 15:42:05 GMT
I feel I can fuck ten fat chicks in a row, and still go strong.
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Post by goz on Nov 23, 2018 20:15:53 GMT
I feel I can fuck ten fat chicks in a row, and still go strong.
Would that be a two-for-one if they were only 50 kg instead of 100kg? |
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Post by Rodney Farber on Nov 23, 2018 22:54:54 GMT
... He has proven the power of prayer, and now you are all believers in the Holy Bible, because the prayer was too powerful for anyone to resist. Jesus spoke, and your hearts all opened up. Praise the lord? ... I have always believed in the Bible. It's a book. It is a collection of Bronze Age folklore. Yes, it has portions that are based on historical fact, but so do other fictional books such as From Here to Eternity and Gone With The Wind. |
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Post by drystyx on Nov 24, 2018 2:00:28 GMT
... He has proven the power of prayer, and now you are all believers in the Holy Bible, because the prayer was too powerful for anyone to resist. Jesus spoke, and your hearts all opened up. Praise the lord? ... I have always believed in the Bible. It's a book. It is a collection of Bronze Age folklore. Yes, it has portions that are based on historical fact, but so do other fictional books such as From Here to Eternity and Gone With The Wind.That's great! Awesome that you feel the spirit of the Holy Ghost of Jesus Christ enough to be one of those who will pretend to not believe in the truth, and to give newcomers a feel of not being alone. God will reward you for your sacrifice, much as it goes against your grain to stand up a table at the coffee shop and lift up your bible and say "This is the word of the almighty God, and I believe every word of this holy book because it is the gospel truth! Hallelujah! Give me an amen!" And you fight that impulse to do that, sacrificing your own needs and desires, just to humble yourself as one of the heathens and allow the heathen to join you in worship later. Thank you for proving the pastor's prayer to be answered. Halleluhah! |
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Post by mikef6 on Nov 24, 2018 2:12:28 GMT
I knew that SOMETHING had happened because I suddenly felt an irresistible urge to tell other people, esp. women and gays how to live their lives, how to conduct their sex and love lives, what was permissible and what was not, and what they had to do to keep out of hell. Not only that, but to contact my Republican political representatives and send them money so they would make my personal religious beliefs a matter of law so people would be forced to follow them. PRAISE JESUS! Wow, where did that come from?
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Post by Rodney Farber on Nov 25, 2018 17:07:11 GMT
That's great! Awesome that you feel the spirit of the Holy Ghost of Jesus Christ enough to be one of those who will pretend to not believe in the truth, and to give newcomers a feel of not being alone. This is fantastic. Now I know I will be welcomed into Heaven so I shall pretend to "not believe". There's no need to waste time in church because I've got a free pass to Heaven. And as for tithing, F*** that. I can put the $$$ into a trust fund for my grandchildren. I can give Yahweh the finger whenever I want to.
Too bad this just doesn't pass the smell test.
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Post by drystyx on Nov 25, 2018 18:24:35 GMT
That's great! Awesome that you feel the spirit of the Holy Ghost of Jesus Christ enough to be one of those who will pretend to not believe in the truth, and to give newcomers a feel of not being alone. This is fantastic. Now I know I will be welcomed into Heaven so I shall pretend to "not believe". There's no need to waste time in church because I've got a free pass to Heaven. And as for tithing, F*** that. I can put the $$$ into a trust fund for my grandchildren. I can give Yahweh the finger whenever I want to.
Too bad this just doesn't pass the smell test.
Awesome! Keep up the good work of pretending not to be saved. In doing so, you will certainly encourage new readers to feel at ease and then join in the body of Christ, along with yourself, since you've proven that you have indeed become a Christian, and proven that the prayer of the pastor has been answered. Hallelujah! |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2018 18:38:21 GMT
I feel you wasted your time.
The Pope himself has already said that atheists souls go to heaven... and that hell doesn't exist.
He's infallible, so why try harder?
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Post by drystyx on Nov 25, 2018 19:25:10 GMT
I feel you wasted your time. The Pope himself has already said that atheists souls go to heaven... and that hell doesn't exist. He's infallible, so why try harder? You're doing great. Well, I'm not sure a new reader would be quite convinced of your pretending not to be a fundamentalist Christian. I don't think you're putting yourself in the shoes of the unbeliever. You aren't going to win an Academy Award for your pretending not to be a fundamentalist Christian. But keep trying. Meanwhile, thanks for helping to prove the pastor correct in the power of prayer. |
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Post by drystyx on Nov 25, 2018 19:32:21 GMT
I feel I can fuck ten fat chicks in a row, and still go strong.
Would that be a two-for-one if they were only 50 kg instead of 100kg? Who would believe that Goz was once an atheist or agnostic? Who would have believed it? And yet here she is a saved fundamentalist, proving again the power of prayer, as the pastor prayed her into submission to the Holy Ghost. Her attempt here to be of the world is almost sincere. I know she's trying to pretend not to be a believer, but who here can't tell that in reality she is on a street corner telling liberals to repent? Who here can't tell that she's praying for Donald Trump to be a better man? Who here can't tell that she is gluing together photos of Pat Robertson that unbelievers have ripped to shreds? I know you're trying, Goz, to assume the role of the unbeliever, but I just don't think anyone is buying it. |
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Post by goz on Nov 25, 2018 19:47:47 GMT
Would that be a two-for-one if they were only 50 kg instead of 100kg? Who would believe that Goz was once an atheist or agnostic? Who would have believed it? And yet here she is a saved fundamentalist, proving again the power of prayer, as the pastor prayed her into submission to the Holy Ghost. Her attempt here to be of the world is almost sincere. I know she's trying to pretend not to be a believer, but who here can't tell that in reality she is on a street corner telling liberals to repent? Who here can't tell that she's praying for Donald Trump to be a better man? Who here can't tell that she is gluing together photos of Pat Robertson that unbelievers have ripped to shreds? I know you're trying, Goz, to assume the role of the unbeliever, but I just don't think anyone is buying it. Unfortunately I don't seem to have the same level of funds available to me as Prog for acquiring fat fucks, and I am only slim myself...so I fear my celibate self will have to just remain on the market until the right buyer for a slim attractive blonde busty reformed atheist/agnostic now older and wiser as a raving fundamentalist Christian...comes along. I have every faith that God will send him to me He even got Erjenious and Molar together to there is some hope. Maybe I should become Catholic? |
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Post by Stammerhead on Nov 25, 2018 22:32:07 GMT
Underwhelmed  |
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Post by drystyx on Apr 15, 2019 3:01:09 GMT
Underwhelmed It's great that you pretend to be underwhelmed and keep the façade, when we know you were saved by the power of prayer. Keep it going, because we need unsaved newcomers to not feel alone. Express doubts, even though we know everyone here is born again and yelling "Hallelujah" every Sunday morning in the congregation of the king.
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Post by maya55555 on Apr 15, 2019 3:14:10 GMT
drystyx
Praise the Lord.
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Post by Stammerhead on Apr 15, 2019 8:23:03 GMT
Underwhelmed It's great that you pretend to be underwhelmed and keep the façade, when we know you were saved by the power of prayer. Keep it going, because we need unsaved newcomers to not feel alone. Express doubts, even though we know everyone here is born again and yelling "Hallelujah" every Sunday morning in the congregation of the king. I'll probably find out that Heaven has some areas that are not so great but still have to be used to meet the quotas.
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