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Post by drystyx on Dec 12, 2018 22:36:12 GMT
They're up to something. Bob Cratchitt keeps looking up at the clock, waiting to get off, trying to put an expensive coal on the fire. Next thing you know, he'll expect me to buy a solar panel to heat the office.
And when my nephew Fred comes over with his stupid holiday cheer, he takes me aside where I don't see what Bob is doing, but Bob is up to something. And a neighbor said they were both seen at my house, carrying in some miniature video cameras. I looked for them, and found one. It's set to automatically project an image on the night of December 24 at two a.m.. The image is some really huge guy with a beard, surrounded by gold and presents and food and drink. I don't have the audio yet.
Bah! They're up to no good. Boil them in their Christmas pudding. They've been incorrigible since my partner Jacob died seven years ago. They probably drove him to his grave, too.
Some "union" guy came in to talk to Bob, but he had the good fortune to stand on the trap door leading to the mutated piranha pool. I mean "my good fortune", not his.
Fine thing, picking an honest man's pocket every 25th of December!
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Post by Catman on Dec 12, 2018 23:49:22 GMT
Take the damn clock out of the office!
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Post by goz on Dec 13, 2018 5:30:38 GMT
They're up to something. Bob Cratchitt keeps looking up at the clock, waiting to get off, trying to put an expensive coal on the fire. Next thing you know, he'll expect me to buy a solar panel to heat the office. And when my nephew Fred comes over with his stupid holiday cheer, he takes me aside where I don't see what Bob is doing, but Bob is up to something. And a neighbor said they were both seen at my house, carrying in some miniature video cameras. I looked for them, and found one. It's set to automatically project an image on the night of December 24 at two a.m.. The image is some really huge guy with a beard, surrounded by gold and presents and food and drink. I don't have the audio yet. Bah! They're up to no good. Boil them in their Christmas pudding. They've been incorrigible since my partner Jacob died seven years ago. They probably drove him to his grave, too. Some "union" guy came in to talk to Bob, but he had the good fortune to stand on the trap door leading to the mutated piranha pool. I mean "my good fortune", not his. Fine thing, picking an honest man's pocket every 25th of December! Personally I am going to wait a few billion years for the carbon from the expensive coal to turn into a diamond.  Tell Bob to wait for me! |
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Post by Aj_June on Dec 13, 2018 5:56:46 GMT
Your nephew has a funny face.  |
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Post by Catman on Dec 13, 2018 13:06:41 GMT
Be careful what you eat and drink the next few days, lest you have bad dreams.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2018 16:00:13 GMT
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Post by drystyx on Dec 15, 2018 17:33:49 GMT
Strange thing. I remember when my partner, Jacob Marley, was on his deathbed, and while I was counting pennies on the window ledge, behind the curtain, I heard Bob Cratchitt and my nephew Fred, enter. I peered through a crack in the drape and watched them record video and audio of Jacob making sounds and saying words. It looked like they were trying to edit some of his words.
I remember Jacob saying, for example, in different statements, answers to their questions, and requests:
"I just saw Ebenezeer while ago."
"It's a rainy day, yes".
"Yes, I'll have the medicine now".
"What does 'ponderous' mean? I'll have to look that up. But I don't think it's something you wear".
"I keep telling you, I don't send out chain letters".
And Jacob was moaning while they edited those tapes to say "It's a ponderous chain you wear now, Ebenezeer". I wonder why they did that?
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Post by Aj_June on Dec 15, 2018 18:06:19 GMT
Strange thing. I remember when my partner, Jacob Marley, was on his deathbed, and while I was counting pennies on the window ledge, behind the curtain, I heard Bob Cratchitt and my nephew Fred, enter. I peered through a crack in the drape and watched them record video and audio of Jacob making sounds and saying words. It looked like they were trying to edit some of his words. I remember Jacob saying, for example, in different statements, answers to their questions, and requests: "I just saw Ebenezeer while ago." "It's a rainy day, yes". "Yes, I'll have the medicine now". "What does 'ponderous' mean? I'll have to look that up. But I don't think it's something you wear". "I keep telling you, I don't send out chain letters". And Jacob was moaning while they edited those tapes to say "It's a ponderous chain you wear now, Ebenezeer". I wonder why they did that? I am from the past and I will visit you soon my dear fellow. |
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Post by Catman on Dec 15, 2018 18:38:21 GMT
Strange thing. I remember when my partner, Jacob Marley, was on his deathbed, and while I was counting pennies on the window ledge, behind the curtain, I heard Bob Cratchitt and my nephew Fred, enter. I peered through a crack in the drape and watched them record video and audio of Jacob making sounds and saying words. It looked like they were trying to edit some of his words. I remember Jacob saying, for example, in different statements, answers to their questions, and requests: "I just saw Ebenezeer while ago." "It's a rainy day, yes". "Yes, I'll have the medicine now". "What does 'ponderous' mean? I'll have to look that up. But I don't think it's something you wear". "I keep telling you, I don't send out chain letters". And Jacob was moaning while they edited those tapes to say "It's a ponderous chain you wear now, Ebenezeer". I wonder why they did that? I am from the past and I will visit you soon my dear fellow. Do you look like Joel Grey? |
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Post by drystyx on Dec 16, 2018 2:43:50 GMT
I am from the past and I will visit you soon my dear fellow. Do you look like Joel Grey? I pretty much only know him from Cabaret and Fantasticks, but looked up where he played Christmas Past Ghost. Did he ever have another Christmas Carol role? |
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Post by drystyx on Dec 2, 2019 19:47:19 GMT
Fred keeps sneaking into my home. I see some little tiny cameras everywhere. I glanced into another of the cameras today and it looks like some boy on a crutch. I'd like to help the poor boy. I'm not a miser, you know.
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Post by Catman on Dec 2, 2019 19:53:14 GMT
Talk about your ghosts of Christmas past!
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Post by drystyx on Dec 4, 2019 17:26:30 GMT
I checked out the two guys trying to get me to donate money to some charity, and the detective agency confirms they've both been collecting for a racket, and that Fred and Bob are members of the racketeering gang.
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Post by Catman on Dec 4, 2019 17:35:12 GMT
Odd that this keeps happening every year!
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Post by drystyx on Dec 9, 2019 17:02:48 GMT
That boy on a crutch. Well, I saw him run a mile in six minutes yesterday, and he's only 5 years old. He ran up to Bob Cratchitt and they looked up and saw me, then Bob handed him a crutch again, after which the boy started hobbling like he couldn't walk. I guess the race hurt his ankle.
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Post by Catman on Dec 9, 2019 17:14:58 GMT
You should see that kid play ukulele.
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Post by general313 on Dec 9, 2019 18:56:28 GMT
You should see that kid play ukulele. Are you sure he's only 5 years old?
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Post by drystyx on Dec 12, 2019 21:08:16 GMT
Saw my clerk Bob with that little boy again, tiptoeing through my tulips, ruining my garden with their stinky feet, but I don't mind. I'm no miser, am I?
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Post by Catman on Dec 12, 2019 23:22:54 GMT
Perhaps they are in league with that Dutch boy with his finger in the dike.
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Post by drystyx on Dec 23, 2019 17:49:00 GMT
I did not say "they may as well die and decrease the surplus population".
I said "they may as well diet and create a superior situation".
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