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Post by Marv on Jan 16, 2019 10:00:22 GMT
I wouldn’t say so. It’s asking the father for permission to ask the daughter. What the potential suitor is doing is basically going to the man who would hold the highest standard for the woman he loves and asking if he cuts the mustard himself. Seeing if he’s worthy. I don’t see how the act is sexist.
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Post by kls on Jan 16, 2019 10:17:53 GMT
I wouldn’t say so. It’s asking the father for permission to ask the daughter. What the potential suitor is doing is basically going to the man who would hold the highest standard for the woman he loves and asking if he cuts the mustard himself. Seeing if he’s worthy. I don’t see how the act is sexist. That could be why my late husband didn't ask my father. He knew my father was not near the top of the list. I looked up to my grandfathers and uncles much more.
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Post by Marv on Jan 16, 2019 10:35:06 GMT
I wouldn’t say so. It’s asking the father for permission to ask the daughter. What the potential suitor is doing is basically going to the man who would hold the highest standard for the woman he loves and asking if he cuts the mustard himself. Seeing if he’s worthy. I don’t see how the act is sexist. That could be why my late husband didn't ask my father. He knew my father was not near the top of the list. I looked up to my grandfathers and uncles much more. Assuming he knew that before proposing, if he asked them instead of your father that’s make sense. There’s a million variable that could’ve in play, including the father of the potential bride being a total scumbag. But I still don’t see it as sexist toward women in any way.
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Post by kls on Jan 16, 2019 10:37:42 GMT
That could be why my late husband didn't ask my father. He knew my father was not near the top of the list. I looked up to my grandfathers and uncles much more. Assuming he knew that before proposing, if he asked them instead of your father that’s make sense. There’s a million variable that could’ve in play, including the father of the potential bride being a total scumbag. But I still don’t see it as sexist toward women in any way. He asked my mom.
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Post by PreachCaleb on Jan 16, 2019 19:27:30 GMT
I wouldn’t say so. It’s asking the father for permission to ask the daughter. What the potential suitor is doing is basically going to the man who would hold the highest standard for the woman he loves and asking if he cuts the mustard himself. Seeing if he’s worthy. I don’t see how the act is sexist. That's sexist because it implies the woman doesn't have a higher standard for herself. Or that even her mother doesn't have a higher standard.
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Post by Marv on Jan 16, 2019 19:42:07 GMT
I wouldn’t say so. It’s asking the father for permission to ask the daughter. What the potential suitor is doing is basically going to the man who would hold the highest standard for the woman he loves and asking if he cuts the mustard himself. Seeing if he’s worthy. I don’t see how the act is sexist. That's sexist because it implies the woman doesn't have a higher standard for herself. Or that even her mother doesn't have a higher standard. I don’t think it implies those things.
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Post by PreachCaleb on Jan 16, 2019 20:35:59 GMT
That's sexist because it implies the woman doesn't have a higher standard for herself. Or that even her mother doesn't have a higher standard. I don’t think it implies those things. It does. Why is the father the one who to decide if the guy cuts the mustard and not the woman he's dating?
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Post by Marv on Jan 16, 2019 21:42:02 GMT
I don’t think it implies those things. It does. Why is the father the one who to decide if the guy cuts the mustard and not the woman he's dating? The father doesn’t decide anything. Its merely a sign of respect and/or show of support between the potential husband and the father.
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Post by kls on Jan 16, 2019 21:44:15 GMT
It does. Why is the father the one who to decide if the guy cuts the mustard and not the woman he's dating? The father doesn’t decide anything. Its merely a sign of respect and/or show of support between the potential husband and the father. I think you're right. I mean it's really more of a heads up (this is what I hope to do and I hope you're happy about it). It's not like most guys will walk away if a father doesn't give his blessing.
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Post by PreachCaleb on Jan 16, 2019 22:40:42 GMT
It does. Why is the father the one who to decide if the guy cuts the mustard and not the woman he's dating? The father doesn’t decide anything. Its merely a sign of respect and/or show of support between the potential husband and the father. That's not the same thing as: Why is it not up to the woman to decide if her boyfriend/partner is worthy?
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Post by PreachCaleb on Jan 16, 2019 22:42:10 GMT
The father doesn’t decide anything. Its merely a sign of respect and/or show of support between the potential husband and the father. I think you're right. I mean it's really more of a heads up (this is what I hope to do and I hope you're happy about it). It's not like most guys will walk away if a father doesn't give his blessing. I do have to say a heads up is very different from asking for her hand in marriage. One is a statement of intent; the other is asking for permission.
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Post by Marv on Jan 16, 2019 23:01:26 GMT
I think you're right. I mean it's really more of a heads up (this is what I hope to do and I hope you're happy about it). It's not like most guys will walk away if a father doesn't give his blessing. I do have to say a heads up is very different from asking for her hand in marriage. One is a statement of intent; the other is asking for permission. Its really not tho. Its just the more proper way to give that heads up and hope for support from future in laws.
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Post by PreachCaleb on Jan 16, 2019 23:12:24 GMT
I do have to say a heads up is very different from asking for her hand in marriage. One is a statement of intent; the other is asking for permission. Its really not tho. Its just the more proper way to give that heads up and hope for support from future in laws. Except it is. That's what asking for someone's hand in marriage literally is. You are asking, "Sir, can I marry your daughter?" That's giving a heads up. That's asking permission. And if it was about support from the in-laws, it'd need to go through both, not just the father.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2019 7:19:56 GMT
I wouldn't say it is sexist but if it is definitely outdated and not everybody has great relationships with their parents or cares what they think.
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