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Post by msdemos on Mar 13, 2019 18:08:52 GMT
.......jealousy over you ??  SAVE FERRIS
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Mar 13, 2019 19:52:36 GMT
No. Jealousy equals lack of trust.
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Post by louise on Mar 14, 2019 17:08:32 GMT
I find it quite gratifying that he imagines there is still something to be jealous of - I mean really, at my time of life. I'm not exactly Jane Fonda. But I can't say I feel I need it.
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Post by hi224 on Mar 15, 2019 0:17:00 GMT
no thats why my last ex is now my ex,
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Post by ant-mac on Mar 15, 2019 0:30:56 GMT
No, I never cared for it. She once told me she wanted a partner who had experience, but that she was also jealous because I had that experience... I couldn't fucking win.  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2019 0:45:58 GMT
I voted "other." I enjoy it when a man is possessive, controlling, and dominating...at the right times. I don't like insecure jealousy or control games about who I can/can't talk to or where I can/can't go. Jealousy outside of the bedroom is a sign of a weak relationship.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2019 0:46:36 GMT
No, I never cared for it. She once told me she wanted a partner who had experience, but that she was also jealous because I had that experience... I couldn't fucking win. She sounds high maintenance. |
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Post by ant-mac on Mar 15, 2019 0:49:48 GMT
No, I never cared for it. She once told me she wanted a partner who had experience, but that she was also jealous because I had that experience... I couldn't fucking win. She sounds high maintenance. Thankfully not. We didn't marry, we just cohabitated. But when we split, I let her have most of the furniture and I even gave her one of my cars. It was up to her to get a licence or sell it for extra cash.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2019 0:54:00 GMT
She sounds high maintenance. Thankfully not. We didn't marry, we just cohabitated. But when we split, I let her have most of the furniture and I even gave her one of my cars. It was up to her to get a licence or sell it for extra cash. You sound like me. I've lived with three men in my adult life, and each time I left them with everything. I just didn't care enough to bother taking most of it with me. |
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Post by ant-mac on Mar 15, 2019 0:57:53 GMT
Thankfully not. We didn't marry, we just cohabitated. But when we split, I let her have most of the furniture and I even gave her one of my cars. It was up to her to get a licence or sell it for extra cash. You sound like me. I've lived with three men in my adult life, and each time I left them with everything. I just didn't care enough to bother taking most of it with me. Well, we had a child together, so I figured her needs were greater than mine at the time. She tried to exclude me from his life, but I pretty soon set her straight about that. I played the long game and I eventually ended up with sole custody.
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Post by Harmless elf on Mar 15, 2019 1:15:38 GMT
Jealousy is a negative emotion that leads to resentment. Why would anybody want their spouse/SO to have that?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2019 1:25:16 GMT
You sound like me. I've lived with three men in my adult life, and each time I left them with everything. I just didn't care enough to bother taking most of it with me. Well, we had a child together, so I figured her needs were greater than mine at the time. She tried to exclude me from his life, but I pretty soon set her straight about that. I played the long game and I eventually ended up with sole custody. One of the guys I left with everything was my daughter's father...before she was born. I never treated her as a pawn, but I cant say the same for him. Some people use children as tool's for manipulation. All I can say is thank the stars I never married him and got out when I did. It wasn't worth fighting him for the stuff in the house even though it was bought and paid for by me, I just wanted out. I knew my daughter would one day realize what he's about without me having to influence her...I was right, and at 22, she gets it and him. My ex husband, on the other hand, I adore. He's a wonderful person, it just didn't work out. I left him with everything, including the house, because he needs it more than me, and honestly, he deserves it more.
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Post by ant-mac on Mar 15, 2019 1:44:09 GMT
Well, we had a child together, so I figured her needs were greater than mine at the time. She tried to exclude me from his life, but I pretty soon set her straight about that. I played the long game and I eventually ended up with sole custody. One of the guys I left with everything was my daughter's father...before she was born. I never treated her as a pawn, but I cant say the same for him. Some people use children as tool's for manipulation. All I can say is thank the stars I never married him and got out when I did. It wasn't worth fighting him for the stuff in the house even though it was bought and paid for by me, I just wanted out. I knew my daughter would one day realize what he's about without me having to influence her...I was right, and at 22, she gets it and him. My ex husband, on the other hand, I adore. He's a wonderful person, it just didn't work out. I left him with everything, including the house, because he needs it more than me, and honestly, he deserves it more. I'm not entirely sure what her intentions were where that was concerned. If it was simply because she wanted nothing further to do with me, I can understand. However, while she can decide that for herself, she can't make that decision for our child. That's for him to make, not her. And being a good partner and a good parent are not necessarily the same thing. Alternatively, she may have been acting on the suggestions of her mother, elder sisters and lawyer. And while I can't speak for her lawyer, none of her female relatives were still in their original relationship. In fact, she once told me the reason she withheld visitation rights from me for nearly three months was because her lawyer told her to. As far as I'm concerned, it was her decision to do that and I hold her solely responsible. In any case, once she moved on to number two and started having more kids, I found myself looking after my son more and more. Especially when she wanted to get away for a romantic weekend or if he was ill. Eventually she agreed to share the custody 50 / 50. And then she rang me one day to ask if I could take over full time, because she had to go into hiding from people who were looking for her and number two... I didn't ask questions. I was just happy to have everything I wanted.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2019 3:17:07 GMT
One of the guys I left with everything was my daughter's father...before she was born. I never treated her as a pawn, but I cant say the same for him. Some people use children as tool's for manipulation. All I can say is thank the stars I never married him and got out when I did. It wasn't worth fighting him for the stuff in the house even though it was bought and paid for by me, I just wanted out. I knew my daughter would one day realize what he's about without me having to influence her...I was right, and at 22, she gets it and him. My ex husband, on the other hand, I adore. He's a wonderful person, it just didn't work out. I left him with everything, including the house, because he needs it more than me, and honestly, he deserves it more. I'm not entirely sure what her intentions were where that was concerned. If it was simply because she wanted nothing further to do with me, I can understand. However, while she can decide that for herself, she can't make that decision for our child. That's for him to make, not her. And being a good partner and a good parent are not necessarily the same thing. Alternatively, she may have been acting on the suggestions of her mother, elder sisters and lawyer. And while I can't speak for her lawyer, none of her female relatives were still in their original relationship. In fact, she once told me the reason she withheld visitation rights from me for nearly three months was because her lawyer told her to. As far as I'm concerned, it was her decision to do that and I hold her solely responsible. In any case, once she moved on to number two and started having more kids, I found myself looking after my son more and more. Especially when she wanted to get away for a romantic weekend or if he was ill. Eventually she agreed to share the custody 50 / 50. And then she rang me one day to ask if I could take over full time, because she had to go into hiding from people who were looking for her and number two... I didn't ask questions. I was just happy to have everything I wanted. You sound like a great father. She doesn't sound reliable, and I'm sorry your son had to deal with that. I actually had leave the state with my daughter when she was 10 because her father was terrorizing me and using her for emotional black mail against the rest of his family. His incredibly unstable and manipulative behavior was starting to negatively impact her emotional development. I still didn't keep her from him or his family, but the distance limited it. I also didn't ask for child support. I didn't need it, I made good money as a nurse, and he was barely getting by. Overall, it was the right decision. I tried to never deride him to her, I knew she would figure it out. Now at 22, she has made the decision to limit her and my grandchildren's contact with him. He can't blame me for it, she's an adult and figured him out on her own. He was dead to me as soon as she turned 18.
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Post by ant-mac on Mar 15, 2019 4:18:38 GMT
I'm not entirely sure what her intentions were where that was concerned. If it was simply because she wanted nothing further to do with me, I can understand. However, while she can decide that for herself, she can't make that decision for our child. That's for him to make, not her. And being a good partner and a good parent are not necessarily the same thing. Alternatively, she may have been acting on the suggestions of her mother, elder sisters and lawyer. And while I can't speak for her lawyer, none of her female relatives were still in their original relationship. In fact, she once told me the reason she withheld visitation rights from me for nearly three months was because her lawyer told her to. As far as I'm concerned, it was her decision to do that and I hold her solely responsible. In any case, once she moved on to number two and started having more kids, I found myself looking after my son more and more. Especially when she wanted to get away for a romantic weekend or if he was ill. Eventually she agreed to share the custody 50 / 50. And then she rang me one day to ask if I could take over full time, because she had to go into hiding from people who were looking for her and number two... I didn't ask questions. I was just happy to have everything I wanted. You sound like a great father. She doesn't sound reliable, and I'm sorry your son had to deal with that. I actually had leave the state with my daughter when she was 10 because her father was terrorizing me and using her for emotional black mail against the rest of his family. His incredibly unstable and manipulative behavior was starting to negatively impact her emotional development. I still didn't keep her from him or his family, but the distance limited it. I also didn't ask for child support. I didn't need it, I made good money as a nurse, and he was barely getting by. Overall, it was the right decision. I tried to never deride him to her, I knew she would figure it out. Now at 22, she has made the decision to limit her and my grandchildren's contact with him. He can't blame me for it, she's an adult and figured him out on her own. He was dead to me as soon as she turned 18. Oh, I doubt that. I'm pretty sure I made by fair share of screw-ups as a parent. In any case, you sound like you had a much rougher ride than I did. I think the worse I ever suffered - apart from a full-on physical assault in the waiting room of the family court from her sister's boyfriend - was that in all the years I had to do all the driving to pick up and drop off my son. She never once offered petrol money and once I took over full custody of him, she also never payed any money towards his welfare. I didn't want her money, but that just shows the sort of person she was. I also had a sneaking suspicion that things wouldn't work out well for my ex and her number two not long after they got together. He sent me a text which read: "Are you gay cause I want to fuck you up the arse." My initial thought was he'd hooked up with the wrong one of us. Unfortunately, the next time we were all in the same location, he refused to make eye contact with me. I was disappointed by this, because I'd planned to give him a wink and blow him a kiss. In any case, I was right. A few years later it all finally ended in a stand-up, knock 'em down punch-up in the middle of the street in the middle of the night. Apparently, she couldn't take the domestic violence any more. And it also transpired afterwards that he'd been unfaithful to her during one of their break-ups. However, as he once very probably saved my son - and my ex - from death, or at the least some very horrible, life-changing injuries due to her ignorance, I find it difficult to condemn him completely. Do you know what happens when you pour water on a cooking oil fire? She didn't and she almost found out the hard way...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2019 4:33:19 GMT
You sound like a great father. She doesn't sound reliable, and I'm sorry your son had to deal with that. I actually had leave the state with my daughter when she was 10 because her father was terrorizing me and using her for emotional black mail against the rest of his family. His incredibly unstable and manipulative behavior was starting to negatively impact her emotional development. I still didn't keep her from him or his family, but the distance limited it. I also didn't ask for child support. I didn't need it, I made good money as a nurse, and he was barely getting by. Overall, it was the right decision. I tried to never deride him to her, I knew she would figure it out. Now at 22, she has made the decision to limit her and my grandchildren's contact with him. He can't blame me for it, she's an adult and figured him out on her own. He was dead to me as soon as she turned 18. Oh, I doubt that. I'm pretty sure I made by fair share of screw-ups as a parent. In any case, you sound like you had a much rougher ride than I did. I think the worse I ever suffered - apart from a full-on physical assault in the waiting room of the family court from her sister's boyfriend - was that in all the years I had to do all the driving to pick up and drop off my son. She never once offered petrol money and once I took over full custody of him, she also never payed any money towards his welfare. I didn't want her money, but that just shows the sort of person she was. I also had a sneaking suspicion that things wouldn't work out well for my ex and her number two not long after they got together. He sent me a text which read: "Are you gay cause I want to fuck you up the arse." My initial thought was he'd hooked up with the wrong one of us. Unfortunately, the next time we were all in the same location, he refused to make eye contact with me. I was disappointed by this, because I'd planned to give him a wink and blow him a kiss. In any case, I was right. A few years later it all finally ended in a stand-up, knock 'em down punch-up in the middle of the street in the middle of the night. Apparently, she couldn't take the domestic violence any more. And it also transpired afterwards that he'd been unfaithful to her during one of their break-ups. However, as he once very probably saved my son - and my ex - from death, or at the least some very horrible, life-changing injuries due to her ignorance, I find it difficult to condemn him completely. Do you know what happens when you pour water on a cooking oil fire? She didn't and she almost found out the hard way... Yeah, that sounds like a bullet dodged on your part. I'ma very laid back, low drama person. I cannot be bothered with a lot of melodrama in my personal life. But hey, it sounds like we both got great kids out of our poor choice in a partner. In the long run, no regrets  
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Mar 16, 2019 15:50:40 GMT
No, I never cared for it. She once told me she wanted a partner who had experience, but that she was also jealous because I had that experience... I couldn't fucking win. I'm sorry, ant-mac, some women are just like that... My husband and I both had experience, and when we found each other, it was pretty much a lock. He thought it was amusing, that my high-school boyfriend kept calling me through the years - he jokingly referred to him as "The guy who did what I got blamed for". My parents were kept out of my personal life until my husband and I chose to live together. My parents weren't happy... 
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Post by ant-mac on Mar 16, 2019 22:38:57 GMT
No, I never cared for it. She once told me she wanted a partner who had experience, but that she was also jealous because I had that experience... I couldn't fucking win. I'm sorry, ant-mac, some women are just like that... My husband and I both had experience, and when we found each other, it was pretty much a lock. He thought it was amusing, that my high-school boyfriend kept calling me through the years - he jokingly referred to him as "The guy who did what I got blamed for". My parents were kept out of my personal life until my husband and I chose to live together. My parents weren't happy... What was with the ex-boyfriend? Couldn't he take a hint?
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Mar 17, 2019 2:34:02 GMT
I'm sorry, ant-mac, some women are just like that... My husband and I both had experience, and when we found each other, it was pretty much a lock. He thought it was amusing, that my high-school boyfriend kept calling me through the years - he jokingly referred to him as "The guy who did what I got blamed for". My parents were kept out of my personal life until my husband and I chose to live together. My parents weren't happy... What was with the ex-boyfriend? Couldn't he take a hint? Delusions of adequacy, I think. Some men are just always checking to see if they are still wanted.
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Post by Nora on Mar 17, 2019 3:04:44 GMT
I find it intriguiging how often is jealousy over someone aimed at the “wrong” person.
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