Rate: X-Men Dark Phoenix (Spoilers obviously)

Just saw it. It's a good movie. Best CBM of 2019. It's obvious that the critics didn't like it because it didn't have lame jokes and 1-liners throughout the movie.

I still want more from this franchise too and I'm not excited at all to see future X-Men movies under the MCU banner because MCU will just throw in a bunch of lame jokes and 1-liners.

Full spoilers.

I liked it. Most of the franchise has been awful, and Dark Phoenix had the same problems as those films; but for whatever reason, I liked it. This could be the most backhanded compliment in history but here goes. It's like BvS in that it doesn't make sense if you haven't seen the previous films, but you have to ignore those films for this story to work. It's like some trippy dreamworld alternate take of the characters you've been following all this time. Suddenly the X-Men are the Avengers of this world, a true superhero team that the world relies on in times of crisis. Magneto is leading a commune (forget that he was responsible for tens of thousands of death at least in Apocalypse), on land apparently given to him by the government?

Let me get the bad out of the way first. The writing was atrocious at times, including all of Mystique's dialog (as usual); the aliens that have infiltrated society are reduced to zombie level intelligence in the final fight, kicking and clawing at a moving train. Nobody other than Beast seems to care in this film when someone dies. Xavier literally laughs Hank off when Hank blames him for Mystique's death. Xavier informs a young Jean that her parents are dead and she responds by asking what's going to happen to her now. Not one tear over her parents, whom she just killed. The President cuts off all communication with Xavier because one mutant goes berserk? That's not how diplomacy works. I'll give Magneto's apparent pardon after taking part in a near extinction level event a free pass since as I said, you have to ignore the previous films for this to work. But the idea that he would refuse to help Jean is ridiculous. He of all people should know what she's going through and want to guide her through this.

Mystique openly questions why they're helping people and I don't understand why. Her character would have to be a moron not to understand why it's good to help people in principle, as well as the socio-political value being viewed as heroes brings to mutantkind. "Why are we risking our lives to save their people," that whole conversation was ridiculous. Don't even get me started on the X-women stuff. "The women are always saving the men around here." What? The entire rescue was 80% Nightcrawler, 10% Quicksilver, 5% Cyclops, with Storm and Jean both using their powers in ways that didn't seem to affect the outcome of the mission at all. In fact, the only thing Jean accomplished by going back was getting blown up and absorbing the phoenix force after the rest of the team has escaped.

It's also frustrating that they overpowered Quicksilver to the point that they constantly follow the same formula with him in every film. He gets a great action sequence at the beginning, and then they find a way to incapacitate him (or just write him out completely in DOFP) because he'd resolve the plot of the film by himself if you let him. Still don't understand why he got hurt. The world moves in slow motion for him. If you pull the rug out, you're doing it in slow motion; regardless he's going to fall in what feels like slow motion to him, not tumble completely out of control. This gripe is more of a nitpick I suppose, but I wish they'd find a way to even out his powers so you could actually use him in a climactic scene for once.

There are other nitpicks such as how Storm's powers work in space or why they make it a point of emphasis that Kurt needs to see something to teleport there, but doesn't follow that rule at all, but fluctuating powers are part of superhero stories so I'll let it go. The powers do what the writers want them to do in that scene and I didn't think anything in this film was too egregious on that front.

Alright I said I liked it so let's get to the good stuff. I enjoyed the X-Men as the superhero team. It works better as a story concept for me, and they have the added dynamic of being the team that people love, but as Xavier points out, they're a bad day away from being hated and feared all over again. There's a tension to each mission that doesn't exist or at least isn't addressed until the events of Civil War in the Avengers universe. For that matter, the team doesn't have the swagger and confidence of an Avengers squad. It's an added level of emotional stakes for the characters when they acknowledge they're in over their heads; they don't know if they can actually do this stuff, but they're going to try because it's their job.

Despite the world being at stake as the aliens want to take it for their own, the story was more personal, more focused on how it affected the protagonists than the world at large. A refreshing take on superheroics at the moment, after the chaos of Apocalypse in this universe and Endgame in the MCU. The final train battle was a little (ok, very) tropey, but the film didn't find it necessary to destroy a city despite some insanely powerful characters going head to head. They kept the action centered on the characters and their immediate surroundings. May have been a financial consideration in the production, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

The final scenes lacked the emotion I think they were going for; whether it's because I'm not as into the X-Men or the fact that the franchise has been rebooted 17 times so we feel like we barely know anyone, who can say? But it still featured some decent character moments (if still bogged down by hammy dialog). For the record I'm not the world's biggest Sophie Turner fan but I have to disagree with the criticism aimed at her in this film. She isn't going to win an academy award for this but she was fine, this wasn't some cringeworthy performance by an actress in over her head.

Little things I enjoyed: The Dazzler cameo, and the fact that they didn't feel compelled to go overboard with easter eggs like that given this was the final Fox installment of the franchise. The aliens were somewhat generic but didn't go over the top even when the potential was there. The train fight, as unoriginal as the setting may be, featured some nifty use of character powers. Despite its tone, a superhero film still requires action and I thought the film had solid sequences and good pacing. (Some would argue the entire concept was rushed, and they wouldn't be wrong, but the finished product in this film itself worked well enough.)

All in all it was a fitting end to the Fox-Men for better and worse. To my mind, Dark Phoenix showcased all that had gone wrong with the franchise over the years but also its potential for greatness through the tone they always strived for (by my count this film featured a single moment of humor, yet it never felt overly depressing or grimdark). It told the story it wanted to tell on its own terms. It's probably a 5 or 6/10 while I want to give it a 7, probably because I was expecting a 2. I enjoyed watching the film and I can see myself watching it again, which is more than I can say for most of the franchise.

Yeah, it’s not like the (Fo)X-Men Films ever had lame jokes and 1-liners before

6/10