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Post by hi224 on Jun 8, 2019 16:50:03 GMT
emotionally or otherwise perhaps?.
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Post by Nora on Jun 8, 2019 17:10:40 GMT
sure I think everybody has that experience at least once I its a problem only when its repeative thing in your life or if you are unable to move on. i experienced it too. in real life not like my undying yet futile love for Adam Sandler  I was in love with a guy who was not only dating my friend but also never in love with me, yet my feelings for him lasted for several years almost no matter how much I tried to fight it. In the end I told myself he is not perfect for me because he doesnt want me so that means he really cant be perfect for me by definition and that perspective helped. We are friends to this day and he will always have a special place in my heart, but I dont suffer because of him. |
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Harmless elf
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Post by Harmless elf on Jun 8, 2019 17:28:15 GMT
Yeah I was friends with a Punjabi woman. She was just my type, great ass, wanted to bang her, and do the relationship thing but because of her arranged marriage culture it could never be.
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rogerthat
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Post by rogerthat on Jun 8, 2019 17:38:55 GMT
Yes. Bradley Cooper and Bea Arthur
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Post by Ass_E9 on Jun 8, 2019 18:54:18 GMT
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theshape25
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@theshape25
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Post by theshape25 on Jun 9, 2019 2:25:29 GMT
Yep. I had it happen with a girl I worked with. She started on a different shift and I'd see her as I was coming into work, and I thought she was cute. She ended up coming to my shift and every once in a while we would be put on the same job together. I became smitten pretty quickly. The only problem was that she wasn't single and they had a child together.
It was hell. I think she was somewhat interested as well just from the vibe that I got when we talked and when we worked in the same vicinity I would catch her looking at me. But after a year or so our company downsized and she was let go.
We remained in contact for around a year after that through social media. She followed my band on Instagram and we sent messages to one another. But it stopped last June. I've thought about sending her a message from time to time, but I feel that I'm finally over it, and any further contact would put me right back at square one. I did write a song about it though and it appeared on our last CD, so I guess something positive came out of it.
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Post by petrolino on Jun 9, 2019 2:28:58 GMT
Oh yeh. It can eat you up, from the inside-out.
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Post by hi224 on Jun 9, 2019 9:55:12 GMT
Oh yeh. It can eat you up, from the inside-out. Bingo |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2019 10:14:12 GMT
Yes, and it sucks. Karma is a bi***.
When I was 24 years old (I got married young), I was married, wife was pregnant. When she found out she was pregnant she said, "I can't do this, I'm scared. What are our options?" I said, "Options? What the hell are you talking about? We are married. Our option is to have a kid/family." So she was MISERABLE the whole pregnancy.
I confided in a coworker, she was 32 at the time. Older. She had a bad marriage to an older man. I think she was looking for something. Anyway, I enjoyed her. I wasn't 'in love' with her, but I liked the way she flirted with me and made me feel. So I kept leading her on. Eventually we started having an affair. All the time. As much as we could. Well, she told me she loved me, and wanted to leave her husband for me. She told me how she was in love with some musician when she was young and broke it off and said she regretted it and married this guy for stability. She thought I was her second chance at 'true love' not just 'stability'. We had one more session together in her marital bedroom. I got a new job and I promised her I'd call her the next day to meet up. I used that as my 'out'. I didn't break it off, I didn't man up and tell her the truth, I just didn't contact her anymore. In the end, I think I was just pissed my wife was miserable in her pregnancy and contemplated an abortion. It doesn't make it right what I did to the 32 year old's feelings.
Then one of my best friends (which was a girl) used to have a 'flirty' relationship. We never crossed the line. I wanted to, but I didn't want to ruin what we had. I think she felt the same way. She ends up getting married to this guy who has hardly any family or friends. He asks me to be the BEST MAN at his wedding because we all hung out so much he really liked me. Trusted me. Well, one day I just come out and tell her my feelings. She tells me the whole time she walked down the aisle at her wedding she was wishing it were me she was marrying, not the guy she was actually marrying. We started having a passionate affair. I had real feelings for her. We would talk about leaving our spouses and being together. He even got really suspicious and when we were drinking at a bar he asked if I was having an affair with his wife, I told him no. He literally ONLY had her. Nothing else. I felt bad. Well, one day she was supposed to meet up with me at her house and she texts me to say, "I no longer need or want this relationship anymore. Respect my wishes and leave us alone." I tried to call her, but I think she blocked my number. I didn't hear from her or see her for a year. I did what she asked. Well, one day I 'reactivated' my Facebook (I deleted it after she broke us off, so I never unfriended her). When I reactivated it she had pictures on her profile. They had a baby. I started doing the math. She had to conceive the baby near the last time we 'got together'. We talk every now and then through a private email. The baby isn't mine, but at the time she thought "What if it was" and she realized how selfish it would have been for her to leave her husband. He has nobody. I'd give anything to take it all back and just go back to being friends. I'd rather have her in my life than not at all.
To this day I feel sick about that relationship. I couldn't and can't be with her. It eats me up. I think it eats her up too. But I feel like it's Karma for what I did to the 32 year old. To feel this way YEARS after it took place. I still have strong feelings for her. I feel guilty for my wife too.
Life and Love are a complicated thing. You can passionately love someone, and some people you can care deeply for. There is a difference.
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Post by Nora on Jun 9, 2019 10:23:24 GMT
Yep. I had it happen with a girl I worked with. She started on a different shift and I'd see her as I was coming into work, and I thought she was cute. She ended up coming to my shift and every once in a while we would be put on the same job together. I became smitten pretty quickly. The only problem was that she wasn't single and they had a child together. It was hell. I think she was somewhat interested as well just from the vibe that I got when we talked and when we worked in the same vicinity I would catch her looking at me. But after a year or so our company downsized and she was let go. We remained in contact for around a year after that through social media. She followed my band on Instagram and we sent messages to one another. But it stopped last June. I've thought about sending her a message from time to time, but I feel that I'm finally over it, and any further contact would put me right back at square one. I did write a song about it though and it appeared on our last CD, so I guess something positive came out of it. nice story (and probably a wise decision) |
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Post by Nora on Jun 9, 2019 10:27:53 GMT
Yes, and it sucks. Karma is a bi***.
When I was 24 years old (I got married young), I was married, wife was pregnant. When she found out she was pregnant she said, "I can't do this, I'm scared. What are our options?" I said, "Options? What the hell are you talking about? We are married. Our option is to have a kid/family." So she was MISERABLE the whole pregnancy.
I confided in a coworker, she was 32 at the time. Older. She had a bad marriage to an older man. I think she was looking for something. Anyway, I enjoyed her. I wasn't 'in love' with her, but I liked the way she flirted with me and made me feel. So I kept leading her on. Eventually we started having an affair. All the time. As much as we could. Well, she told me she loved me, and wanted to leave her husband for me. She told me how she was in love with some musician when she was young and broke it off and said she regretted it and married this guy for stability. She thought I was her second chance at 'true love' not just 'stability'. We had one more session together in her marital bedroom. I got a new job and I promised her I'd call her the next day to meet up. I used that as my 'out'. I didn't break it off, I didn't man up and tell her the truth, I just didn't contact her anymore. In the end, I think I was just pissed my wife was miserable in her pregnancy and contemplated an abortion. It doesn't make it right what I did to the 32 year old's feelings.
Then one of my best friends (which was a girl) used to have a 'flirty' relationship. We never crossed the line. I wanted to, but I didn't want to ruin what we had. I think she felt the same way. She ends up getting married to this guy who has hardly any family or friends. He asks me to be the BEST MAN at his wedding because we all hung out so much he really liked me. Trusted me. Well, one day I just come out and tell her my feelings. She tells me the whole time she walked down the aisle at her wedding she was wishing it were me she was marrying, not the guy she was actually marrying. We started having a passionate affair. I had real feelings for her. We would talk about leaving our spouses and being together. He even got really suspicious and when we were drinking at a bar he asked if I was having an affair with his wife, I told him no. He literally ONLY had her. Nothing else. I felt bad. Well, one day she was supposed to meet up with me at her house and she texts me to say, "I no longer need or want this relationship anymore. Respect my wishes and leave us alone." I tried to call her, but I think she blocked my number. I didn't hear from her or see her for a year. I did what she asked. Well, one day I 'reactivated' my Facebook (I deleted it after she broke us off, so I never unfriended her). When I reactivated it she had pictures on her profile. They had a baby. I started doing the math. She had to conceive the baby near the last time we 'got together'. We talk every now and then through a private email. The baby isn't mine, but at the time she thought "What if it was" and she realized how selfish it would have been for her to leave her husband. He has nobody. I'd give anything to take it all back and just go back to being friends. I'd rather have her in my life than not at all.
To this day I feel sick about that relationship. I couldn't and can't be with her. It eats me up. I think it eats her up too. But I feel like it's Karma for what I did to the 32 year old. To feel this way YEARS after it took place. I still have strong feelings for her. I feel guilty for my wife too.
Life and Love are a complicated thing. You can passionately love someone, and some people you can care deeply for. There is a difference. have you eber thought about reaching out to the 32 year old and apologizig for what you did and they way you did it. It might give her or actually botj of you some closure and relief. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2019 10:32:17 GMT
Yes, and it sucks. Karma is a bi***.
When I was 24 years old (I got married young), I was married, wife was pregnant. When she found out she was pregnant she said, "I can't do this, I'm scared. What are our options?" I said, "Options? What the hell are you talking about? We are married. Our option is to have a kid/family." So she was MISERABLE the whole pregnancy.
I confided in a coworker, she was 32 at the time. Older. She had a bad marriage to an older man. I think she was looking for something. Anyway, I enjoyed her. I wasn't 'in love' with her, but I liked the way she flirted with me and made me feel. So I kept leading her on. Eventually we started having an affair. All the time. As much as we could. Well, she told me she loved me, and wanted to leave her husband for me. She told me how she was in love with some musician when she was young and broke it off and said she regretted it and married this guy for stability. She thought I was her second chance at 'true love' not just 'stability'. We had one more session together in her marital bedroom. I got a new job and I promised her I'd call her the next day to meet up. I used that as my 'out'. I didn't break it off, I didn't man up and tell her the truth, I just didn't contact her anymore. In the end, I think I was just pissed my wife was miserable in her pregnancy and contemplated an abortion. It doesn't make it right what I did to the 32 year old's feelings.
Then one of my best friends (which was a girl) used to have a 'flirty' relationship. We never crossed the line. I wanted to, but I didn't want to ruin what we had. I think she felt the same way. She ends up getting married to this guy who has hardly any family or friends. He asks me to be the BEST MAN at his wedding because we all hung out so much he really liked me. Trusted me. Well, one day I just come out and tell her my feelings. She tells me the whole time she walked down the aisle at her wedding she was wishing it were me she was marrying, not the guy she was actually marrying. We started having a passionate affair. I had real feelings for her. We would talk about leaving our spouses and being together. He even got really suspicious and when we were drinking at a bar he asked if I was having an affair with his wife, I told him no. He literally ONLY had her. Nothing else. I felt bad. Well, one day she was supposed to meet up with me at her house and she texts me to say, "I no longer need or want this relationship anymore. Respect my wishes and leave us alone." I tried to call her, but I think she blocked my number. I didn't hear from her or see her for a year. I did what she asked. Well, one day I 'reactivated' my Facebook (I deleted it after she broke us off, so I never unfriended her). When I reactivated it she had pictures on her profile. They had a baby. I started doing the math. She had to conceive the baby near the last time we 'got together'. We talk every now and then through a private email. The baby isn't mine, but at the time she thought "What if it was" and she realized how selfish it would have been for her to leave her husband. He has nobody. I'd give anything to take it all back and just go back to being friends. I'd rather have her in my life than not at all.
To this day I feel sick about that relationship. I couldn't and can't be with her. It eats me up. I think it eats her up too. But I feel like it's Karma for what I did to the 32 year old. To feel this way YEARS after it took place. I still have strong feelings for her. I feel guilty for my wife too.
Life and Love are a complicated thing. You can passionately love someone, and some people you can care deeply for. There is a difference. have you eber thought about reaching out to the 32 year old and apologizig for what you did and they way you did it. It might give her or actually botj of you some closure and relief. You know, I was so embarrassed at the time (9 years ago) that I didn't know what to do. I convinced myself I was doing the right thing because we were both in the wrong (both married). I'm sure that is why she never said anything or tried to cause problems with my marriage. I think you're right. It might be good for both of us. I can say all day I did the right thing, ended it, just walked away. The truth is, I was a coward. I didn't want to break it off or admit to her it was all a lie. I never really 'loved' her or had 'feelings' for her. I loved the idea of it. I thought it would crush her, that maybe just walking away would be better because it left it more like a mystery. However, I'm older, wiser, more mature now. I see what I did was wrong. Even if our affair was technically 'wrong' we did have a relationship and I knew her true feelings, and I owed her that. Still owe her that.
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Post by Nora on Jun 9, 2019 10:50:43 GMT
have you eber thought about reaching out to the 32 year old and apologizig for what you did and they way you did it. It might give her or actually botj of you some closure and relief. You know, I was so embarrassed at the time (9 years ago) that I didn't know what to do. I convinced myself I was doing the right thing because we were both in the wrong (both married). I'm sure that is why she never said anything or tried to cause problems with my marriage. I think you're right. It might be good for both of us. I can say all day I did the right thing, ended it, just walked away. The truth is, I was a coward. I didn't want to break it off or admit to her it was all a lie. I never really 'loved' her or had 'feelings' for her. I loved the idea of it. I thought it would crush her, that maybe just walking away would be better because it left it more like a mystery. However, I'm older, wiser, more mature now. I see what I did was wrong. Even if our affair was technically 'wrong' we did have a relationship and I knew her true feelings, and I owed her that. Still owe her that. I mean dont tell her it was all a lie but that you realized that walking away like that was cowardly and that it probably caused her additional pain and for that you are sorry. i think i would alpreicate that had it happened to me. plus even if you didnt love her you two did have some kind of human connection, plus sex, plus shared a secret and those things are bonding people quickly even if on your side it wasnt love there is still the relationship with another human being and thats deserving of respect. |
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Post by louise on Jun 9, 2019 11:03:27 GMT
Yes, several times when I was young.
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Harmless elf
Junior Member
I'm a slick shyster the pest Meister
@amiable
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Likes: 1,170
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Post by Harmless elf on Jun 9, 2019 11:17:24 GMT
Yep. I had it happen with a girl I worked with. She started on a different shift and I'd see her as I was coming into work, and I thought she was cute. She ended up coming to my shift and every once in a while we would be put on the same job together. I became smitten pretty quickly. The only problem was that she wasn't single and they had a child together. It was hell. I think she was somewhat interested as well just from the vibe that I got when we talked and when we worked in the same vicinity I would catch her looking at me. But after a year or so our company downsized and she was let go. We remained in contact for around a year after that through social media. She followed my band on Instagram and we sent messages to one another. But it stopped last June. I've thought about sending her a message from time to time, but I feel that I'm finally over it, and any further contact would put me right back at square one. I did write a song about it though and it appeared on our last CD, so I guess something positive came out of it. nice story (and probably a wise decision) It is not a nice story. You don't mow another guy's lawn. If someone isn't single you should show no interest in them or talk to them on social media if you're interested in them. It's not fair to the other guy. |
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Post by Nora on Jun 9, 2019 11:31:46 GMT
nice story (and probably a wise decision) It is not a nice story. You don't mow another guy's lawn. If someone isn't single you should show no interest in them or talk to them on social media if you're interested in them. It's not fair to the other guy. I appreciate the storytelling quality of the post and its development and the narrators attitude. (furthermore i dont agree one should not talk to anyone who is not single on social media and also i am not concerned with what would/wouldnt be fair “to the other guy”. i am concerned with what is/is not acceptable behaviour for myself.) |
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Post by Sulla on Jun 9, 2019 14:07:46 GMT
Yes and it can be torture unless you find something else to occupy your attention. .
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theshape25
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Post by theshape25 on Jun 9, 2019 14:32:37 GMT
nice story (and probably a wise decision) It is not a nice story. You don't mow another guy's lawn. If someone isn't single you should show no interest in them or talk to them on social media if you're interested in them. It's not fair to the other guy. I didn't mow another guy's lawn. I never saw the girl outside of work, and our conversations were never flirty or sexual in any way. There were a couple of televison shows that we both liked and we talked about that. They were basically no different than any conversation that you would see here between two people discussing a topic. While its true that I carried feelings for the girl, I never or would have ever crossed any line as long as she was in a relationship with someone else. |
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Post by Sandman on Jun 9, 2019 18:36:58 GMT
Sure here are 12 off the top of my head.
Kate Winslet
Jennifer Aniston
Carla Gugino
Vera Farmiga
Scarlett Johansson
Alyssa Milano
Gemma Arterton
Chloe Sevigny
Kate Beckinsale
Gina Gershon
Juliette Lewis
Jennifer Lopez
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Post by hi224 on Jun 9, 2019 18:59:48 GMT
Sure here are 12 off the top of my head. Kate Winslet Jennifer Aniston Carla Gugino Vera Farmiga Scarlett Johansson Alyssa Milano Gemma Arterton Chloe Sevigny Kate Beckinsale Gina Gershon Juliette Lewis Jennifer Lopez lol.
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