Well here's a surprise. Black Christmas remake being made.

Are you posting this from 2006?  Just kidding.  I doubt this remake can be as shitty as the 2006 one was but the synopsis isn't very encouraging.  

Hawthorne College is quieting down for the holidays. One by one, sorority girls on campus are being killed by an unknown stalker. But the killer is about to discover that this generation’s young women aren’t willing to become hapless victims as they mount a fight to the finish.

A movie where the woke white chicks and maybe a bi racial transgendered lesbian with green hair save the day while the inept sexist  males make things worse. HOORAY!!!!!  I'm sure millennials will adore it. Since millennials are incapable of enjoying any movie made before they were shat into the world what do y'all do when they remake one of the shitty remakes y'all seem to love so much?  

Black Christmas (1974) is a movie that should NEVER have been remade in the first place. 

Exactly. I have no problem with strong female character turning the table on the killer. I love the end of Scream for example when she starts toying with the Ghostfaces.  This ain't that movie tho.  They fucked up that first remake by totally missing what we loved about the original. Now it looks like they are blowing it again in a totally different but equally clueless way.  

Why don't they just leave it alone?  It's not like most movie fans, hell not even most horror movie fans, are aware of and love Black Christmas. I just had a terrible thought. I bet it will be PG13. 

This thing is going to suck so bad. What were they complaints about? Women being targeted by a killer? Its a freaking horror movie!!!!!!

It sounds depressingly steeped in the post-Me Too/Time's Up mentality that filmmakers seem to think they now have to adhere to in their stories.

No doubt we'll find that "This generations young women" are well able to kick Billy's arse all about the sorority house and by the end, send him packing with a whimper and his tail between his legs. All in good time to still filter some pouting selfies.
Perhaps then they can image shame him by sharing his photo on their Instagram accounts and really teach him a lesson to cross the strong, young women of 2019.

Maybe we should start making slasher movies where a group of men have to band together and turn the tables on a female-empowered lady slasher whose motive is her objection to men giving her a cursory glance in the workplace! 
We could save the juciest kills for the ones who leave the toilet seat up.

Or better still - just set this movie in the 1970s where we can dispense with all the current, trendy political nonsense.

I might agree, but I dont know how that would work. Maybe it could be set in the 80s or something.

I may generally agree with the sentiments here, and I have no confidence this will be any good (though it's gotta be better than that first remake... God what a piece of shit), but for every lame cliche that this sounds like it's falling into, the response here also sounds like a cliche of old men yelling at clouds.

Poster:



comicbook.com/horror/2019/06/14/banana-splits-horror-movie-trailer/

Ha, actually it just copied the wrong link for some reason. I'd be happy to take credit anyway, if you enjoyed that.


Here's the real deal:

I was wondering the same thing. I'd have to imagine it has at least been in pre-production for a much longer time than we know already at this point.

Oh for Christ's sake!