"Cats" (2019)

Most likely.

CATS is probably the best movie that can be adapted from the 1981 sung-through musical, all things considered. Don't get me wrong; I like it a lot... as a live show, not as a play with songs. There are musicals that have turned out great despite prioritizing the song score over the book/script. In this case, technical aspects like costume design were also prioritized over it. There was a recurring gag in THE NANNY where people were shocked at how the title character's boss turned down the opportunity to be one of the producers. His reason was that the pitch didn't sound convincing. Well... He was kind of right. There's almost no progression, because almost every musical number is about introducing each member of the feline tribe Jellicle.Screenwriters Tom Hooper (who's also the director) and Lee Hall are clearly aware of this and they try to make everything feel more cinematic by emphasizing certain conflicts/arcs and by adding spoken dialogue. I wasn't as bored as I feared, but it's still not an entertaining experience. Since the score is the same, I couldn't shake that feeling of constantly being bounced around between characters and, by the end, I didn't feel like I had gotten to know any of them. In fact, what's the point in performing an "I Am" song when we've already seen the character around for a while? The actors use CG costumes and the result are human/cat hybrids. I personally would've used the same format whenever characters start speaking in a foreign language and change to English all of the sudden ("Hey audience, they're still speaking in their own language in-universe"): The movie starts with actual cats. One of them is doing an action, they leave the frame for half a second, and then a person doing the same action enters the frame. Other people are standing in the spots where the other cats were before. The actors don't wear any kind of cat costume or make-up; just leotards of the same color as the fur of the cats they represent. At the end of the movie, the same trick is done and we see actual cats. I've never wanted a film adaptation, not even when they were planning an animated movie (that would've been more practical, but seeing people dancing is part of the spectacle), because my issue has always been the lack of a proper narrative. I just wanted to give this thought process a shot since it's what people have criticized the most. I usually don't mind this kind of thing as long as the characterization is consistent enough to make me forget that I'm watching something that's not real. Well... No, it's not consistent. Some of the characters wear clothes and shoes. If they feel that need, shouldn't all of them do that? If they've evolved enough to feel that need and to have a clear separation between hands and feet, why they do still drink milk by licking it? Sometimes, the actors move and gesture like cats. Sometimes, they move and gesture like humans. Sometimes, they move and gesture like other animals. Sometimes, they display emotions, rational thoughts and distinct personality traits. Sometimes, they react by instinct. Sometimes--You get the idea. I'm nitpicking like this because they're supposed to be normal cats and they communicate through words only for the audience's benefit, right? Well, they meow, hiss and purr, which defeats the purpose of giving them the ability to speak and sing. The protagonist is Victoria and it's a thankless role. Not just because she's the only one without an extravagant name, but also because she's an audience surrogate who mainly exists to react with doe (or cat?) eyes at what everyone else does. That makes me admire Francesca Hayward's performance even more. I say "even more" because I was already touched by all the emotions she conveyed. Not just with her face and her voice but also her body language. As a matter of fact, my favorite scene (despite the abrupt transition at the end) is when she dances without singing, right after the opening number. I later read that she's a trained ballerina, and I wasn't surprised. Jennifer Hudson's performance is good too. I have no idea what Ian McKellen is doing. I felt moved during the last portion of the number MR. MISTOFFELEES, but the other portions feel devoid of energy compared to the stage show's rendition of the song. There's a scene where Jennyanydots (the laziest Jellicle) grabs an invisible zipper and reveals that what we thought was her body was a costume and that she was hiding a dress underneath. What is this?! While there are other moments of humor, the tone is relatively serious, so why do a LOONEY TUNES routine all of the sudden?!

4/10
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