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Post by Sulla on Jan 26, 2020 6:18:19 GMT
January 2nd was the last time I saw my mother. She died that night. Normally I wouldn't be happy about that. For years I saw her six days a week. The last month she cried in pain each day despite being given opiates. That was exceptionally hard to watch. I last spoke with her the day after Christmas. I held her and told her I will always love her. She was the best mother for whom one could hope. They upped her morphine which induced a coma during her final week. At least she's no longer suffering. It's a poignant happiness. Oh, Sulla, what can I say except "I feel for you." I'm so happy for you that you had the chance to tell her you loved her. My own beloved mother was hospitalized for the last year or so of her life, and due to her total dependence on a ventilator and some other COPD-related problems could not even speak for more than a few seconds at a time...and she so loved good conversation with good friends, of whom she had many, of a wide range of ages, ethnicities, and personalities. Anyway..."It's a poignant happiness" is an excellent description of my feelings when she crossed over. (I was not present when my father died, but he was not hospitalized for nearly as long, and he never lost the power of speech.) I firmly believed that, whatever her new life would be like, she would be happier. And that made me happy despite the sorrow of (temporarily) losing her. Thank you for your kind words, Ellyn. I see we had similar situations. I offer my condolences for your losses. Your mother must've also been well-loved by you and many others.
My father departed 16 years ago. I've learned that at some point, whatever comes after this life has to be better than remaining here in a state of suffering without hope of relief.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2020 5:24:07 GMT
I am sorry to hear about that mszanadu . I would have thought somebody like you would have had a lot of friends back then but I totally agree with what Jayman has to say here and think you are one of the most loved members on this forum. You are always kind, positive and helpful to everybody and it has been really nice getting to know you on here. That's extremely wonderful & sweet of you to say here Deb
and I very much appreciate your kind and encouraging words as always here too !
So sorry also it's been awhile since you and I have chatted here too my emails are still a bit all over the place with my order of responding to these . No big worries of course I will just have to get to it ASAP ( right ? ) . As for my school years I was also a very quiet and shy person
that really just kept to myself and never started any trouble
but it seemed that trouble still followed me around
in the form of bullies etc. so it made my time and learning in school very difficult to enjoy also
( I'm just really glad all of this is a distant memory now ) . I feel very honored and lucky
to have found some wonderful folks here on this fine forum to chat with . For me it gives me hope now
and it definitely seems to make up for
all the past years of turmoil
I endured in my life as well .
You’re welcome mszanadu . Thank you for the kind words too and I hope that everything has been going good for you this year and you had a good Christmas and New Year’s. It has been a while since we last chatted on here but that’s okay ‘cause I understand what it is like to be busy and I have been pretty busy the last few weeks too and have been kinda overloaded with emails which is why I have not been as active on here as I would like to be and am behind with replying to some people but you have always been one of my favourite people to talk to on this forum and no matter how many days or weeks pass you are always free to send me a private message especially if you ever need to talk about something.
It is sad what you went through in the past and after being through some similar experiences in the past myself in real life and on other forums with nasty and toxic individuals I can relate but it sounds like you have come out a stronger person and grown as Jay mentioned and when it comes to this forum you, Chalice_Of_Evil , Jayman James redhorizon Raimo47 HirundoRustica and others have all been good friends to me and it is nice to be able to come on here and talk to such lovely people. Thank you for that and I think I speak for everybody when I say your warmth and positivity is appreciated on here and keep being you mszanadu 'cause the internet could use more people like yourself.
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Post by ellynmacg on Jan 29, 2020 3:54:37 GMT
That's extremely wonderful & sweet of you to say here Deb
and I very much appreciate your kind and encouraging words as always here too !
So sorry also it's been awhile since you and I have chatted here too my emails are still a bit all over the place with my order of responding to these . No big worries of course I will just have to get to it ASAP ( right ? ) . As for my school years I was also a very quiet and shy person
that really just kept to myself and never started any trouble
but it seemed that trouble still followed me around
in the form of bullies etc. so it made my time and learning in school very difficult to enjoy also
( I'm just really glad all of this is a distant memory now ) . I feel very honored and lucky
to have found some wonderful folks here on this fine forum to chat with . For me it gives me hope now
and it definitely seems to make up for
all the past years of turmoil
I endured in my life as well .
You’re welcome mszanadu . Thank you for the kind words too and I hope that everything has been going good for you this year and you had a good Christmas and New Year’s. It has been a while since we last chatted on here but that’s okay ‘cause I understand what it is like to be busy and I have been pretty busy the last few weeks too and have been kinda overloaded with emails which is why I have not been as active on here as I would like to be and am behind with replying to some people but you have always been one of my favourite people to talk to on this forum and no matter how many days or weeks pass you are always free to send me a private message especially if you ever need to talk about something.
It is sad what you went through in the past and after being through some similar experiences in the past myself in real life and on other forums with nasty and toxic individuals I can relate but it sounds like you have come out a stronger person and grown as Jay mentioned and when it comes to this forum you, Chalice_Of_Evil , Jayman James redhorizon Raimo47 HirundoRustica and others have all been good friends to me and it is nice to be able to come on here and talk to such lovely people. Thank you for that and I think I speak for everybody when I say your warmth and positivity is appreciated on here and keep being you mszanadu 'cause the internet could use more people like yourself. Deb, I agree with every nice thing you said about mszanadu and the other posters you listed, and you know what else? "[T]he internet could use more people like yourself"...that also applies to you!
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Post by ellynmacg on Jan 29, 2020 4:03:27 GMT
I agree 100%, Sulla, and although I have lots of doubts concerning many tenets of organized religion, I absolutely believe that human life does not begin and end with this current existence.
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Post by Lucy on Jan 30, 2020 6:11:43 GMT
High school and college.
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Post by QueenB on Jan 30, 2020 8:35:49 GMT
CCD classes
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Post by mszanadu on Jan 30, 2020 20:27:13 GMT
That's extremely wonderful & sweet of you to say here Deb
and I very much appreciate your kind and encouraging words as always here too !
So sorry also it's been awhile since you and I have chatted here too my emails are still a bit all over the place with my order of responding to these .
No big worries of course I will just have to get to it ASAP ( right ? ) .
As for my school years I was also a very quiet and shy person
that really just kept to myself and never started any trouble
but it seemed that trouble still followed me around
in the form of bullies etc. so it made my time and learning in school very difficult to enjoy also
( I'm just really glad all of this is a distant memory now ) .
I feel very honored and lucky
to have found some wonderful folks here on this fine forum to chat with .
For me it gives me hope now
and it definitely seems to make up for
all the past years of turmoil
I endured in my life as well .
Mszanadu, I can so relate to--and sympathize with--your unhappiness during high school. I, too, frequently suffered through encounters with bullies. My worst period of school, however, was not high school, but junior high. I HATED IT. And, due to some quirks peculiar to different districts or states, I attended three different junior high schools, and "graduated" from jhs twice. If I had not had books and music, and a little later on, movies, my misery would have been still greater. And though I have made a few friends here and there (though none remaining from jhs or hs), none could ever compare to my parents, and now that both of them have gone on to the next level, none could compare with my two best (living) friends: my husband and my sister. I am so fortunate to have them both. (I also love my two sons, but that's in a different way.) As for something I was happy to do for the last time: it would actually be a bunch of little somethings--boring, stultifying tasks and duties I performed for over twenty years on a daily, ever-more tedious, basis as part of my job. As of less than a month ago, I am a retired person, which means I have done all those niggling little (and some not so little) chores for the last time. And it is such a relief to know that!
Thanks so very much to you ellynmacg for your understanding and kind words here too ( and so sorry on my belated reply here also ) .
I'm also very sorry for your unhappy experience
with your previous school years as well .
I totally agree Junior High School was most definitely
the worst time for me also ( what a nightmare indeed ) .
I guess it's like that wonderful old saying goes - " what doesn't kills us will make us stronger " .
I so agree here too and also had my music , art ,
and dance classes ( in the Grade school & Junior High years )
to keep my sanity throughout all of it too
( IMPO - a definite self sanctuary for all of life's chaos indeed ) .
It's definitely rewarding in itself that even though
we went through some really tough times
now it's all over with , we can move forward to better times ,
and be the strong survivors that we have become now .
Again thanks so much for your wonderful reply here too .
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Post by mszanadu on Jan 30, 2020 20:57:33 GMT
IMPO - It does seem very interesting as an adult but it appears like it could be very difficult
to absorb and learn it all especially in the childhood years .
I was raised as a Protestant my family didn't really go to church often
( except on the occasions of Easter or Christmas Eve )
but we were still Christians and I still am now .
So sorry you didn't enjoy your CCD Class experience there either QueenB .
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Post by mszanadu on Jan 30, 2020 21:07:34 GMT
I agree 100%, Sulla, and although I have lots of doubts concerning many tenets of organized religion, I absolutely believe that human life does not begin and end with this current existence.
" I absolutely believe that human life does not begin and end with this current existence. "
I totally 110% believe in that as well here ellynmacg ( I have always believed and still do that there is an " afterlife " after this one on earth ) .
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Post by QueenB on Jan 31, 2020 0:44:01 GMT
IMPO - It does seem very interesting as an adult but it appears like it could be very difficult
to absorb and learn it all especially in the childhood years .
I was raised as a Protestant my family didn't really go to church often
( except on the occasions of Easter or Christmas Eve )
but we were still Christians and I still am now .
So sorry you didn't enjoy your CCD Class experience there either QueenB . Yeah I hated it as kid. I feel like since it was pushed on me so hard as a child, it made me run in the other direction as an adult. I was very close to my grandparents growing up and was at their house every weekend, holiday and spent summer vacations there (luckily they lived very close to us) and I remember them being very active with the Catholic Church.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 31, 2020 21:17:17 GMT
heh heh heh That's funny because your icon.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 31, 2020 21:33:02 GMT
I'm glad that's over!
I wear him as a hat now.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Jan 31, 2020 21:47:32 GMT
This was no fun either
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Post by dianachristensen on Jan 31, 2020 21:51:15 GMT
Write a paper for high school, though decades later I'll still have the occasional stress dream that takes the form of realizing it's the end of a semester and I never went to French class, which is weird because I even got college credit for high school AP French (thanks to the AP exam).
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