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Post by Nalkarj on Sept 23, 2017 1:26:09 GMT
Psych
MILD SPOILERS FOR PSYCHO
In this comic thriller, Shawn Spencer (James Roday), "a young crime consultant for the Santa Barbara Police Department whose 'heightened observational skills' and impressive detective instincts allow him to convince people that he solves cases with psychic abilities," and his "best friend and reluctant partner," Burton "Gus" Guster (DulΓ© Hill), are driving along a lonely stretch of road in Arizona. Exhausted from their being so annoying that every time I've been unfortunate enough to see that show I feel that my ears are going to bleed (ahem), they decide to pull over at a roadside motel run by the eccentric Norman Bates (Vince Vaughn), who blathers on about his mother all night long.
Unfortunately, those brilliant detective geniuses, Shawn and Gus, are so unperceptive that it takes them a full twenty minutes of screen time to realize that this scenario is wildly similar to Alfred Hitchcock's famed motion picture Psycho--and, even then, our two Einsteins only compare it to the recent television series Bates Motel. Bates puts pictures of Anthony Perkins on the walls of their motel rooms to spark their memories, but--nope--Shawn and Gus remain utterly oblivious.
That evening, a shadowy figure sneaks into Shawn's bathroom, but Shawn decides at the last minute not to go back into the bathroom but simply to leave the water running all night, figuring that Bates will be the one to pay the bill anyway. The shadowy figure gets angry at how this decision (1) messes up Psycho's plot, (2) will cost an enormous amount of money, and (3) angers former vice president Al Gore (William H. Macy), who's staying in the room next door, because it's not good for the environment--and slices off Shawn's head.
Gus hears his friend's screams before Shawn's head is sliced off but takes no notice of them.
The next day, Sheriff Joseph Stefano (R. Lee Emery) arrives and arrests a confused Gus for Shawn's murder. Gus attempts to use some detective skill to find the real killer, but to no avail.
Sheriff Stefano has to decide which of the three suspects--Norman Bates, Al Gore, or Gus--committed the crime. Bates confesses that his mother committed the crime, letting Gus off the hook.
Stefano, Bates, Gore, and Gus go to confront Bates's mother--just to find out that "Mother" does not in fact exist. In reality, it was all an enormous stunt by Alfred Hitchcock, who came back from the dead to advertise Psycho after finding out that new generations, which number Shawn and Gus among them, have no idea about classic cinema, or just plain "good movies."
Shawn's head is still lying around somewhere, but everyone laughs and walks off, though unfortunately Gus is still oblivious to what just happened.
Whew. As you may be able to tell, I really dislike the TV series Psych.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Sept 23, 2017 3:25:54 GMT
The Man Who New Too Much
Saga of a shopaholic.
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Post by moviebuffbrad on Sept 23, 2017 5:03:01 GMT
The God, the Bad, & the Ugly
Three guys race for gold buried in a cemetery. Unfortunately the latter two don't have much luck since the other one is GOD.
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Post by Ass_E9 on Sept 23, 2017 14:58:36 GMT
Big Little Lie - (Big Little Lies)
Due to the Hollywood gender pay gap, this male-centric, role-reversed remake of the HBO series could only afford to hire one lead, thus cutting the storylines and lies down to one.
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Post by teleadm on Sept 23, 2017 23:04:27 GMT
Father of the RIDE.
No! it sounds like a porn movie, sorry.... changed my mind.
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Post by teleadm on Sept 23, 2017 23:43:24 GMT
The EARL of Death Once again Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson have to solve a mysterious crime, this time the enemy is worse than Dr Moriaty or is it Dr Moriaty? Far out on the British moors lurks a person who claims to be an Earl, but wherever he goes death comes to the innocent, or are they innocent? Is the Earl setting old scores? Basil Rathbone and temporary replacement Paul Fix (Nigel Bruce was away and making a Lassie movie). Who is the dark lady that hosts this dispicable Earl, living alone with 7 servants in a lonely mansion where it never stops blowing icy winds (Ann Dvorak)? Why is the Earl leaving such obvious clues? Is it a trap? You'll find out if you watch this presentation from Universal!!! The mysterious Earl is played by Fooled you!!
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Post by MCDemuth on Sept 23, 2017 23:47:02 GMT
Crimson Tie (Version 1)
Just like the movie Crimson Tide (1995), except at end, the mutiny is never resolved, and the crew stay under the ocean pointing weapons at each other, while Captain Frank Ramsey and Lieutenant Commander Ron Hunter continue to argue over where the Lipizzaner Horses come from.
Crimson Tie (Version 2)
Captain Frank Ramsey thinks because he is Captain, he can wear a Crimson Necktie, which goes against Navy Regulations. Lieutenant Commander Ron Hunter lodges a formal protest and refuses to follow his orders while the Captain wears that necktie. The crew takes sides and there is a mutiny. The Captain finally agrees that he was in the wrong, and Ramsey & Hunter settle their differences by taking a trip to Spain together and tying a bunch of Crimson Ties around the necks of some Lipizzaner Horses.
Star Wars: Episode 4.5 Crimson Tie (Version 3)
After failing to stop Luke Skywalker from destroying the Death Star, Darth Vader needs an ego boost, and decides to trick-out his Tie fighter, and paints it Crimson Red.
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Post by Nalkarj on Sept 23, 2017 23:57:53 GMT
The EARL of Death Once again Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson have to solve a mysterious crime, this time the enemy is worse than Dr Moriaty or is it Dr Moriaty? Far out on the British moors lurks a person who claims to be an Earl, but wherever he goes death comes to the innocent, or are they innocent? Is the Earl setting old scores? Basil Rathbone and temporary replacement Paul Fix (Nigel Bruce was away and making a Lassie movie). Who is the dark lady that hosts this dispicable Earl, living alone with 7 servants in a lonely mansion where it never stops blowing icy winds (Ann Dvorak)? Why is the Earl leaving such obvious clues? Is it a trap? You'll find out if you watch this presentation from Universal!!! The mysterious Earl is played by Fooled you!! Y'know what, I could probably write a script for this one... But Paul Fix as Dr. Watson? That I'm having difficulty believing...
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Post by teleadm on Sept 24, 2017 0:11:46 GMT
The EARL of Death Once again Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson have to solve a mysterious crime, this time the enemy is worse than Dr Moriaty or is it Dr Moriaty? Far out on the British moors lurks a person who claims to be an Earl, but wherever he goes death comes to the innocent, or are they innocent? Is the Earl setting old scores? Basil Rathbone and temporary replacement Paul Fix (Nigel Bruce was away and making a Lassie movie). Who is the dark lady that hosts this dispicable Earl, living alone with 7 servants in a lonely mansion where it never stops blowing icy winds (Ann Dvorak)? Why is the Earl leaving such obvious clues? Is it a trap? You'll find out if you watch this presentation from Universal!!! The mysterious Earl is played by Fooled you!! Y'know what, I could probably write a script for this one... But Paul Fix as Dr. Watson? That I'm having difficulty believing... Paul Fix was free that week, Nigel wasn't, who could possible notice? lol, just a pillow and a hat, and only long shots.
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Post by teleadm on Sept 24, 2017 1:42:16 GMT
RANKENSTEIN
Early 2000s family oriented Disney movie about a girl who is obsessed with ranking things from 1 to 10, and she only cares for those ranking 10!. Lindsay Lohan plays the girl so obsessed with perfection that she don't see when real love is just around the corner. She will eventually learn the true values of life the hard way when she is suddenly dumped by a boy who ranked her an 8. Her father (Scott Baio) and crazy uncle (Randy Quaid offcourse) gives her bad ideas on how to win the 10 boy back. Beauty is not what things looks like but the thing between the ears. Morality has won for a happy ending.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Sept 24, 2017 4:37:53 GMT
The COPES Bride
Tim Burton's latest stop motion animation. This one featuring a bride who has to cope with her new hubby's Burton-esque Peculiarity du-jour.
The Danny Elfman Music is, again, the best thing going for it.
(Actually, The Corpse Bride is my fav Burton, I was just bein' snarky and movie critic-like ! )
oops I just realized that I dropped a letter and re-arranged another. Shhhhhhhhhh. Maybe no one will notice.
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Post by Catman on Sept 24, 2017 4:54:02 GMT
The COPSE Bride
Another Tim Burton stop motion animation.
A young man falls in love with a coppiced tree and must fight the courts for the right to wed.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Sept 24, 2017 5:08:54 GMT
re: ^^^^ Coppicing is an English term for a traditional method of woodland management which takes advantage of the fact that many trees make new growth from the stump or roots if cut down. In a coppiced wood, young tree stems are repeatedly cut down to near ground level. even more : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coppicing This game is soooooo educational. But I like it anyway !
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Post by moviebuffbrad on Sept 29, 2017 1:53:48 GMT
Pup Fiction
In this 90s family film, a struggling writer inherits three adorable puppy dogs - that can talk! Soon he begins publishing their tales in a series of popular children's books with such topics as whether it's okay to sniff your boss's wife's butt, Royal Canin with cheese, and a yorkie that's trying real hard to be a shepherd.
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Post by teleadm on Sept 29, 2017 16:26:23 GMT
Make Mine INK
A happy British comedy from the early 1960's done in the Carry On-style, about a gang of crooks who has come up with the bright idea of a robbery at an exhibition from the American Mint in Cardiff Wales (of all places), showing how American Dollar Bills are made. The crooks have thought so far as if they steal the ink, the rest will solve itself, and they can exhange fake dollar bills to British pound bills, and pose as American billionaires. What the crroks don't know is that the American exhibition don't use the real ink, but a substitute. Starring Sidney James, Leslie Phillips, Sylvia Syms, Lionel Jeffries and Diana Dors, and some international actors like Caesar Romero, Paul Lukas and Wendell Corey.
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Post by mcavanaugh on Sept 29, 2017 16:48:38 GMT
Leave Her to Heave
Newlyweds Cornel Wilde and Gene Tierney take a long-delayed honeymoon cruise aboard the Queen Mary 2. This is shortly after Gene let Cornel's younger brother Danny drown because he was a bloody nuisance, and Cornel has begun to suspect that Gene was involved in Danny's death. Once the cruise is underway, Gene becomes violently seasick and spends most of her time in the toilet heaving. Wandering the deck one day, Cornel meets lovely Jeanne Crain and the two begin a romance. When Gene finds out, she becomes suicidal and arranges her death to look as though Cornel and Jeanne killed her. Jeanne escapes suspicion, but Cornel is prosecuted for aiding a suicide. He serves five years in prison. (I'll never understand the American criminal justice system). Upon his release from prison, he reunites with Jeanne and the two live happily ever after until they visit the State Fair one year, and Jeanne meets Dana Andrews, falls in love with him, and leaves Cornel for Dana. Cornel then joins a circus and becomes a popular trapeze artist. Gene Tierney was nominated for an Academy Award on the strength of her realistic heaving scenes.
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Post by teleadm on Sept 29, 2017 17:26:08 GMT
The RIDE of Frankenstein 1932
A never released sequel to Frankenstein, made on a low budget. It's a prequel to Frankenstein, about DR Frankensteins prior experiments to rewake his favorite horse who suddenly died during the latest Oktober Fest. Trying to get a big horse upon a operation board was very troublesome (It's heavy). If Dwight Frye got the wrong brain later he sure did it that time too. Test audiences gave this movie the lowest point in history, after seeing the special effects that were not special at all. The movie has been buried in the Universal vaults since then.
Seen at the Copenhagen Odd Movies Festival, critics said: makes us wanna bury it even deeper
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Post by Catman on Sept 29, 2017 18:41:13 GMT
Irestarter
A tale of a young girl who annoys the hell out of everyone she encounters. And for some reason, the government wants her dead.
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Post by teleadm on Sept 29, 2017 20:27:35 GMT
Sherlock Holmes and the Voice of Error. Dr Watson was correct for once
Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce is once again in a case that has to be solved, no matter how much he plays the violin he knows something is wrong, but what? This time the opponent is not Dr Moriaty, but Nurse Moriata (Gale sondergard), pussling together what is wrong with radio messagas, Ah one letter is wrong! They say it in french,That's why the messages from the3 free French wasn't understood, blame the messanger,
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Post by moviebuffbrad on Sept 30, 2017 22:52:30 GMT
Schindler's Lit
A German stoner must evade a band of Neo-Nazis after they mistake him for a different Schindler in this irreverent 90s comedy.
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