Have you ever had to stand up to your parents?

Have you ever had to stand up to your parents? Jun 25, 2019 23:05:18 GMT

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Post by Toasted Cheese on Jun 25, 2019 23:05:18 GMT

Jun 25, 2019 19:21:01 GMT dirtypillows said:

Jun 25, 2019 15:13:55 GMT Toasted Cheese said:

Yes, but due to their sensitivity, rigidity, control issues and also phony scenes of crocodile tears, they use that as a defense mechanism so I dare not push too hard, or wanted to push too hard because they weren't going to make it easy for me. It falls on deaf ears for the most part anyway. I could sense the invisible barrier shields come down right before me, but these walls were so transparent and I had it in my power to totally and utterly annihilate them, I was afraid of myself and took a more emphatic route.

I didn't see the point in tearing our family apart, when in a sense we were already apart by distance. I can't make them be something or understand something about themselves, that they are too fearful of seeing. That would have been way too cruel to push and besides, my father was already made aware of how I felt about them through a third party. The rest of that was a residue of resentment that got projected back at me. It is not as bad now. They are much older and not as strong, or perhaps care so much anymore anyway.

I get this. Parents can be so manipulative and they practically dare you to defy them. It's exhausting and if they don't hear what you are saying, it is easy to feel like giving up. It was in Stephen King's book "Christine" where the main character says that what parents want is to murder their own children. I think that is an amazing insight. If you had gone ahead and devastated them with the truth, it would likely be hard to return to normal. It's a dilemma to ask yourself if it is worth it. The parent-child dynamic is the most complex and complicated dynamic we experience. Just look at my avatar as a prime example. Carrie finally stood up to her overbearing mother and look what happened.

Crocodiles eat their young. My mother has some reptile blood in her. It is a terrible thing to behold. She has always put her own needs first. When I stood up to her, my dad did not back me up. It's hard to gauge progress. My mom was horrible to my sister. She still is.

It wasn't worth it and as much as I can berate myself for not pushing it further, by that same token, why should I be hard on myself for taking the high road. They can deal and sort out their own stuff\issues, as I was dealing and confronting mine.

As a comment you have made in another post about grown up children, I was left pretty much floundering by the time I was 18 and confidence levels were quashed. It wasn't until I was 30 that I found a new lease on life and what I saw around me from parents and others as well, how they made every effort and attempt to keep me down as much as they could. I wasn't reacting to things in the same way I used to. I was starting to move on. One needs to pick and choose their battles though and sometimes humble pie was on the menu, even if I didn't like the bitter taste.

Has you sister stood up to your mother?