Post by zoilus on Apr 27, 2017 0:11:29 GMT
Oh look, we have Chris Pratt cracking dumb one-liners, a baby Vin Diesel, Karen Gillan in a role she's entirely too talented for, and Zoe Saldana with green skin, not to be confused with Zoe Saldana in blue skin from that James Cameron shit festival.
The last Avengers movie and those Captain America movies are unwatchable. Scarlett Johansson is horrendous as the Black Widow, with her Kardashian-esque vocal fry, and notice how every Marvel movie has Scarlett Jo and Jennifer Lawrence constantly doing those "three point landings" where they land with their heads down, then the camera goes close-up as they raise their eyes forward.
That same shot, over and over and over again, in every comic book movie. They don't just beat a dead horse, they beat it to death, call in a Red Priestess from Game of Thrones to resurrect it, then beat it to death again. The worst part is that it's borrowed from Trinity's repertoire in The Matrix films...almost 20 years ago.
Seriously, how do people sit through this stuff? And don't even get me started on Skank In The Shell. "I'm a woke Hollywood actress who tells the plebs to vote for Hillary and champions the rights of the downtrodden, but excuse me while I play the role of a Japanese woman in one of Japan's biggest franchises and tell everyone to STFU when they cry foul." Hey, you play by the rules of the Special Snowflakes, you die by the rules of the Special Snowflakes...
Now they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Prep for the inevitable Moon Knight and Quasar movies, or maybe we'll get X-Factor with Strong Guy and Multiple Man! What about a Freedom Force movie? Maybe they'll cast Carlos Mencia as Vibe, the gay Hispanic superhero from Marvel whose special power is breakdancing! Not gay enough? No problem! There's always Leather Boy of the Great Lakes Avengers (the "Midwestern Branch" of the Avengers), whose special power is wearing assless chaps and a ball gag. (I am not making this up, Leather Boy is a real Marvel character.)
Say, when is the 17th Spider Man movie coming out?
But I think the final straw for me was the decision to cast Ben Affleck as Batman, which is the worst decision by D.C. since the decision to cast George Clooney as Batman. Enough already.