The last horror, thriller or suspense film you watched
May 21, 2020 9:49:24 GMT
lostinlimbo likes this
Post by stefancrosscoe on May 21, 2020 9:49:24 GMT
Oh boy, how do I end up with all these "classics" as of lately? 
Well, as I said earlier: "they can't be all winners" and I have sadly gotten at least that one right, but it is of little help, that I can "thank" my awful pickings of the last two movies which I saw last night for.
Jungle Warriors aka Jungle Fever (1984) by Ernst R. von Theumer senior
Well, I am a pretty simple minded guy, when I look for movies on Youtube, I try to go for the more striking looking titles or movie posters, and I just do not have the time or interest to sit and browse for several hours in search of one potentially good film, and sometimes you just have to take what you got and move on along with it, hope it might be a rather "rewarding" 85-90 minutes, or so of fun b-movie entertainment.
Anyway, when I "stumbled" upon Jungle Warriors, I saw this very cool looking movie poster along with the names of Sybil Danning, Ava Cadell, Woody Strode, John Vernon and Dana Elcar and went in with a least some kind of "expecations" of entertainment value. Surely not a "masterpiece", but something that might be a bit of fun or cheese.
Instead, what I got was almost 100 minutes of total boredom and just down right terrible in every way "entertainment", as this rape & revenge tale set in the tropic jungle, is just pure filth, where we have a bunch of beautiful models who are down in some "exotic" country, in search of a few good photo locations, but what they end up with instead, is that they become the sexual prisoners of a bunch of sweat, fat and horny bastards.
These kind of jungle-rape or women in prison films or sub-genre is surely one of the very worst of the shock-exploitation genre of that time, and Jungle Warriors has to lie among the worst of the worst that I have wasted time on.
The "acting", the "plot" is all just, awful. But the worst part, is that is becomes very boring, very early on, so it is just me being very stupid for not turning this crap off during the first few minutes, saving myself for this absolute torture!
I hoped early on, that it might be somewhere within the whole Andy Sidaris kind of b-movie entertainment, with beautiful women with big "talents" and even bigger guns, hitting back at the bad guys, and while there is a bit of action going on during the final minutes, it is just too little, far too late to save it.
Not even the godess that is Sybil Danning could do much either, sadly. However, both her and Ava Cadell would later on appear in several (if my memory serves me correctly) of Sidaris "classics", but at least those were often both fun and sexy to watch, Jungle Warriors was everything but that.
1/10
Deep Space (1988) by Fred Olen Ray
"They created a monster over lunch. Now it’s back for DINNER…"
Oh yeah, another "classic" from the always reliable Fred Olen Ray, however, compared to the smelly turd that was Jungle Warriors, this rather campy and sometimes hilarious sci-fi horror b-movie actually managed to be somewhat of a little pleasant "surprise", after suffering through the film mentioned above.
In this one, Charles Napier is out on a bit of a alien hunt along with a beautiful woman and the soon finds out they surely are not alone in the universe, as the visiting and hungry space creature has a rather big appetite for human flesh.
The film do come with lots of cheese and also some incredibly funny and "random" moments, such as having Napier all dressed up in the Scottish national dress, along with the kilt and all, seducing his lady with a bit of bagpipe music, which surprisingly goes down very well, as her clothes just seems to "disappear" right away.
So yeah, maybe I should try to remember that, when I bring home a female friend. On with the kilt and bagpipe, to see if it might hit off.
This film is clearly one of the far too many "rip-offs" of Alien (1979), you get the Alien "looking" monster, you get the facehuggers and the Alien eggs and so on, but yeah, I guess that is probably as "close" to that mentioned masterpiece as you come.
The monster itself is ridiculous, and sounds more like a horny grizzly bear during mating season, than that of a evil alien from another planet, and the facehuggers (while actually looked kind of impressive for such a lowbudget movie) end up having a bit of a show going on, and another hilarious scene is where Charles Napier hit a home run with a baseball bat, as one of these creatures tries to take him on.
Another hilarious part, is when he and his lady are being attacked in some lab by this "hugger", and he rips it off from the face of a doctor, then just throws it (without looking) right into the face of his female companion, and goes "OH SHIT!" and it is just such a delicous little random scene of pure cheese, and yeah, there were a few of that kind of entertainment going on, and why I probably end up being a bit too kind with my rating:
4/10
Well, as I said earlier: "they can't be all winners" and I have sadly gotten at least that one right, but it is of little help, that I can "thank" my awful pickings of the last two movies which I saw last night for.
Jungle Warriors aka Jungle Fever (1984) by Ernst R. von Theumer senior
Well, I am a pretty simple minded guy, when I look for movies on Youtube, I try to go for the more striking looking titles or movie posters, and I just do not have the time or interest to sit and browse for several hours in search of one potentially good film, and sometimes you just have to take what you got and move on along with it, hope it might be a rather "rewarding" 85-90 minutes, or so of fun b-movie entertainment.
Anyway, when I "stumbled" upon Jungle Warriors, I saw this very cool looking movie poster along with the names of Sybil Danning, Ava Cadell, Woody Strode, John Vernon and Dana Elcar and went in with a least some kind of "expecations" of entertainment value. Surely not a "masterpiece", but something that might be a bit of fun or cheese.
Instead, what I got was almost 100 minutes of total boredom and just down right terrible in every way "entertainment", as this rape & revenge tale set in the tropic jungle, is just pure filth, where we have a bunch of beautiful models who are down in some "exotic" country, in search of a few good photo locations, but what they end up with instead, is that they become the sexual prisoners of a bunch of sweat, fat and horny bastards.
These kind of jungle-rape or women in prison films or sub-genre is surely one of the very worst of the shock-exploitation genre of that time, and Jungle Warriors has to lie among the worst of the worst that I have wasted time on.
The "acting", the "plot" is all just, awful. But the worst part, is that is becomes very boring, very early on, so it is just me being very stupid for not turning this crap off during the first few minutes, saving myself for this absolute torture!
I hoped early on, that it might be somewhere within the whole Andy Sidaris kind of b-movie entertainment, with beautiful women with big "talents" and even bigger guns, hitting back at the bad guys, and while there is a bit of action going on during the final minutes, it is just too little, far too late to save it.
Not even the godess that is Sybil Danning could do much either, sadly. However, both her and Ava Cadell would later on appear in several (if my memory serves me correctly) of Sidaris "classics", but at least those were often both fun and sexy to watch, Jungle Warriors was everything but that.
1/10
Deep Space (1988) by Fred Olen Ray
"They created a monster over lunch. Now it’s back for DINNER…"
Oh yeah, another "classic" from the always reliable Fred Olen Ray, however, compared to the smelly turd that was Jungle Warriors, this rather campy and sometimes hilarious sci-fi horror b-movie actually managed to be somewhat of a little pleasant "surprise", after suffering through the film mentioned above.
In this one, Charles Napier is out on a bit of a alien hunt along with a beautiful woman and the soon finds out they surely are not alone in the universe, as the visiting and hungry space creature has a rather big appetite for human flesh.
The film do come with lots of cheese and also some incredibly funny and "random" moments, such as having Napier all dressed up in the Scottish national dress, along with the kilt and all, seducing his lady with a bit of bagpipe music, which surprisingly goes down very well, as her clothes just seems to "disappear" right away.
So yeah, maybe I should try to remember that, when I bring home a female friend. On with the kilt and bagpipe, to see if it might hit off.
This film is clearly one of the far too many "rip-offs" of Alien (1979), you get the Alien "looking" monster, you get the facehuggers and the Alien eggs and so on, but yeah, I guess that is probably as "close" to that mentioned masterpiece as you come.
The monster itself is ridiculous, and sounds more like a horny grizzly bear during mating season, than that of a evil alien from another planet, and the facehuggers (while actually looked kind of impressive for such a lowbudget movie) end up having a bit of a show going on, and another hilarious scene is where Charles Napier hit a home run with a baseball bat, as one of these creatures tries to take him on.
Another hilarious part, is when he and his lady are being attacked in some lab by this "hugger", and he rips it off from the face of a doctor, then just throws it (without looking) right into the face of his female companion, and goes "OH SHIT!" and it is just such a delicous little random scene of pure cheese, and yeah, there were a few of that kind of entertainment going on, and why I probably end up being a bit too kind with my rating:
4/10