Post by MCDemuth on Sept 6, 2020 3:17:31 GMT
"CBS Evening Anthrax Update" (11/03/01)
Dan Rather (Darrell Hammond) reporting:
"At this hour, officials of the Center For Disease Control are confirming the presence of anthrax spores at three new locations: my desk here at CBS Nightly News, my basement weight room, and my breakfast nook. Right now, individuals known to have worked at or visited these locations are being tested for anthrax, and at the moment we have any details we’ll pass them along to you.
Hold on. [ presses earpiece ] Alright. This just in. CBS News now comfirming that I.. have.. anthrax."
"...anthrax or no anthrax, I’m gonna stay right here to bring you any new developments as soon as we get them."
Dan, then goes on to report that several other well known people have Anthrax and/or other diseases & sicknesses... Wolf Blitzer was bitten by a squirrel that had rabies... & the entire cast of “Friends” has head lice!
At the end of the report, Dan announces:
"This just in: CBS is now confirming that none of the people we have reported tonight as having anthrax actually have anthrax. I repeat: nobody has anthrax. No, wait. I.. still.. have anthrax. But I’m not going anywhere, and you can bet that when more details become available, I’ll be right here to bring them to you."
Full Transcript Here:
snltranscripts.jt.org/01/01ddanrather.phtml
Dan Rather (Darrell Hammond) reporting:
"At this hour, officials of the Center For Disease Control are confirming the presence of anthrax spores at three new locations: my desk here at CBS Nightly News, my basement weight room, and my breakfast nook. Right now, individuals known to have worked at or visited these locations are being tested for anthrax, and at the moment we have any details we’ll pass them along to you.
Hold on. [ presses earpiece ] Alright. This just in. CBS News now comfirming that I.. have.. anthrax."
"...anthrax or no anthrax, I’m gonna stay right here to bring you any new developments as soon as we get them."
Dan, then goes on to report that several other well known people have Anthrax and/or other diseases & sicknesses... Wolf Blitzer was bitten by a squirrel that had rabies... & the entire cast of “Friends” has head lice!
At the end of the report, Dan announces:
"This just in: CBS is now confirming that none of the people we have reported tonight as having anthrax actually have anthrax. I repeat: nobody has anthrax. No, wait. I.. still.. have anthrax. But I’m not going anywhere, and you can bet that when more details become available, I’ll be right here to bring them to you."
And... He's Not going anywhere!
Full Transcript Here:
snltranscripts.jt.org/01/01ddanrather.phtml