Post by progressiveelement on Nov 15, 2020 1:45:01 GMT
You were ASHAMED!
Or just, you know, asking yourself why you just sat through all those when you knew they were not going to improve...
Iron Eagle
-The one where the kid steals an F-16 and shoots up bad Muzzies who are holding his dad prisoner.
Iron Eagle II
-The one where the US and Soviets team up to shoot up bad Muzzies with nukes.
-The one where the US and Soviets team up to shoot up bad Muzzies with nukes.
Aces: Iron Eagle III
-The one with the WW2 planes shooting up bad ex-Nazi and his Peruvian drug factory.
-The one with the WW2 planes shooting up bad ex-Nazi and his Peruvian drug factory.
Iron Eagle IV
-The one few are aware even exists.
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Deathstalker
-Important lesson. If you're a handsome musclebound fellow who is the hero of your own movie, you can just come on heavy with chicks, even when they're sleeping, and they'll be OK with it - because you're a hot guy. Good Poseidon, this film had serious issues with women... Anyway it had something to do with a sword, and magic, and a lion god in the sky fighting some other god in the sky.
Deathstalker II
-This was actually OK. It's more of a self-parody. Different actor as Deathstalker, a wiseass who helps a princess take back her place from an evil vampiric clone. Or whatever the hell she was supposed to be. At one point is forced to fight a huge woman in a wrestling ring (real-life female wrestler Queen Kong - the bearded fat lady in Spaceballs)
-This was actually OK. It's more of a self-parody. Different actor as Deathstalker, a wiseass who helps a princess take back her place from an evil vampiric clone. Or whatever the hell she was supposed to be. At one point is forced to fight a huge woman in a wrestling ring (real-life female wrestler Queen Kong - the bearded fat lady in Spaceballs)
Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
-Manages to be the worst of the lot. Some guy impersonates Deathstalker....oh, he IS Deathstalker? OK - some guy with this odd sort-of-Irish? accent fights that guy who played Hawk in Buck Rogers over some magic rocks or some shit. I don't know.
-Manages to be the worst of the lot. Some guy impersonates Deathstalker....oh, he IS Deathstalker? OK - some guy with this odd sort-of-Irish? accent fights that guy who played Hawk in Buck Rogers over some magic rocks or some shit. I don't know.
Deathstalker IV
-The first Deathstalker actor comes back, and he's a tad more likable. In other words, he isn't trying to rape anything with boobies. No, this is the 90s - here it's the girls who do the raping, from the lesbian warrior, to the evil villainess who gets men plastered so she can have her way with them. For she is a succubus! Anyway, it becomes all too obvious what this film is ripping off when we get to what it is all about - it's Enter the Dragon in a fantasy setting.
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