OT: This is how they do it........

I hope there is, but there is also another great thing for us Christians, Jesus teaches us how to make the current world a better place. Not just the world, but how we are with it.

But then I am pretty sure you are not really motivated to want happiness, you are more of a lip service Christian doing nothing and hoping God will come and save you from yourself, sadly he has already shown you how but you won't make any effort.

You have said you don't want pity, but I do pity you, you have access to everything you need, but you feel you are not worthy to have it.  The message of Christianity is that you are worth it.  I hope you listen to that message one day.