I've thought a lot about suicide and near death experiences

I think about suicide constantly. I think that society criminalises suicide or the assistance of suicide out of fear that this will peel back the curtain and reveal the ultimate meaninglessness and futility of life. So suicide is heavily stigmatised, criminalised in many places, and even where it is not a criminal offence, people do not have a legally protected right to do it. I think that I'd be a lot more comfortable and content if I knew that I had a legally guaranteed pathway to suicide in the event that I should ever decide upon it. A prison becomes a home when you have the key, as a wise person once said.

Anyway, you have to just resign yourself to the fact that it's meaningless, and that may make it easier. What kind of greater meaning or purpose would you want there to be anyway?