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Post by drystyx on Jun 15, 2018 17:21:48 GMT
Been selling it for a year now, and none of you have taken advantage of the specials on Zombie Apocalypse Insurance. You'll be sorry!!!!
Zombie eats your brain: Without Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance-You're brain dead, helpless, out of control, and dead. With Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance-simply file your claim, and in 10-150 business days you get letter saying whether you're approved for a new brain
You become a zombie: Without Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance (DSZAI)-You're on your own, with other zombies chopping you up, and non zombies shooting you With DSZAI-you have access to maps showing where safe zombie pits are, you get a first aid kit within 15-150 business days, you get to speak to a girl on the phone who doesn't bore you with speaking English, you get a pass to stay in a zombie motel for FREE!
You lose a limb: Without DSZAI-you never get that limb back. With DSZAI-you get a DSZAI agent to locate fresh graves for you to find new limbs, you get a DSZAI agent to research which limbs were most athletic, you get a DSZAI agent to call for volunteers to help you dig out new limbs
You want to be buried: Without DSZAI you lay around and rot, and get gnawed on by zombies, dogs, cats, rats, ants, roaches, and atheists. With DSZAI you get an agent to locate good Christians to gnaw on you instead of atheists, AND, in the words of Warren Oates, you get a shovel and six feet of dirt!
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Post by Catman on Jun 15, 2018 18:00:40 GMT
You shouldn't assume people don't want to turn into zombies.
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Jun 15, 2018 18:40:22 GMT
Oh well. Live and learn, as the saying goes.
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Post by johnblutarsky on Jun 15, 2018 20:24:23 GMT
You want to be buried: Without DSZAI you lay around and rot, and get gnawed on by zombies, dogs, cats, rats, ants, roaches, and atheists.Come on. Everyone knows we eat live babies....not rotting corpses.
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Post by goz on Jun 16, 2018 21:19:05 GMT
Been selling it for a year now, and none of you have taken advantage of the specials on Zombie Apocalypse Insurance. You'll be sorry!!!! Zombie eats your brain: Without Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance-You're brain dead, helpless, out of control, and dead. With Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance-simply file your claim, and in 10-150 business days you get letter saying whether you're approved for a new brain You become a zombie: Without Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance (DSZAI)-You're on your own, with other zombies chopping you up, and non zombies shooting you With DSZAI-you have access to maps showing where safe zombie pits are, you get a first aid kit within 15-150 business days, you get to speak to a girl on the phone who doesn't bore you with speaking English, you get a pass to stay in a zombie motel for FREE! You lose a limb: Without DSZAI-you never get that limb back. With DSZAI-you get a DSZAI agent to locate fresh graves for you to find new limbs, you get a DSZAI agent to research which limbs were most athletic, you get a DSZAI agent to call for volunteers to help you dig out new limbs You want to be buried: Without DSZAI you lay around and rot, and get gnawed on by zombies, dogs, cats, rats, ants, roaches, and atheists. With DSZAI you get an agent to locate good Christians to gnaw on you instead of atheists, AND, in the words of Warren Oates, you get a shovel and six feet of dirt! How much is it? I should like to do a cost/risk/benefit analysis thingie!
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Post by President Ackbar™ on Jun 16, 2018 21:27:48 GMT
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islandmur
Sophomore
All religions have messages of peace and love yet all religions are used for wars and hatred...
@islandmur
Posts: 320
Likes: 180
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Post by islandmur on Jun 16, 2018 22:36:50 GMT
I live in Haiti bud, zombies are a way of life.
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Post by goz on Jun 17, 2018 0:56:39 GMT
I live in Haiti bud, zombies are a way of life. Does your son have a pet one?
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islandmur
Sophomore
All religions have messages of peace and love yet all religions are used for wars and hatred...
@islandmur
Posts: 320
Likes: 180
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Post by islandmur on Jun 17, 2018 1:35:55 GMT
I live in Haiti bud, zombies are a way of life. Does your son have a pet one? I'm sure one of the cats is a zombie cat.
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Post by lowtacks86 on Jun 17, 2018 1:38:52 GMT
Why bother? Slow, lumbering zombies aren't particularly threatening anyways. Oh no they're walking this way, lets um...walk away from them.
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Post by goz on Jun 17, 2018 22:15:23 GMT
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Post by gadreel on Jun 17, 2018 22:26:11 GMT
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Post by FilmFlaneur on Jun 18, 2018 11:08:03 GMT
Huh! People who buy this must be brain dead!
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Post by drystyx on Jun 19, 2018 18:11:40 GMT
This month's special is a "two for one" so you can insure that significant other, and kids are half price at two for one, so you only have to pay 25% of regular price for kids under the age of 12 this month!!!!!
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Post by goz on Jun 20, 2018 2:16:42 GMT
This month's special is a "two for one" so you can insure that significant other, and kids are half price at two for one, so you only have to pay 25% of regular price for kids under the age of 12 this month!!!!! Sheesh! If you don't answer this is AUD$ to leave time for delivery, you don't get the Christmas Zombie head coffee cup!
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Post by maya55555 on Jun 20, 2018 3:40:47 GMT
gozzy
Does it come in a Demi-tasse size?
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Post by drystyx on Jun 20, 2018 18:11:37 GMT
Let me tell you about Eva and Audrey.
Eva didn't buy Dry Styx Zombie Apocalypse Insurance (DSZAI) and went out with Cary. He took her to a hotel, an auction, and Mount Rushmore, and she became a zombie, and James and Martin tried to eat her brain. She sent zombie Martin over a cliff on her own, but DSZAI wasn't there to save her when zombie James got out of prison and ate her brain.
Audrey bought DSZAI and went out with Cary to a club, where DSZAI protected her from zombies George, James, and Ned. It even saved her when zombie Walter chased her into a theater, and Walter fell through a trap door, courtesy of DSZAI. All four zombies disposed of
Audrey could have been a zombie for life, but she was wise. She bought DSZAI.
We even sent back her stamps from the envelope she mailed her check in, when she requested it.
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Post by maya55555 on Jun 20, 2018 21:40:49 GMT
Drystyx
As I am concerned about your health; were those stamps self stick or did she lick them?
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Post by drystyx on Jul 21, 2020 0:16:58 GMT
You should have bought it while it was on sale. Now, you can't afford it.
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Post by drystyx on Mar 6, 2021 5:39:03 GMT
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