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Post by Vassaggo on Jun 25, 2018 10:43:50 GMT
Mine is Mosquito Coast with Harrison Ford. Helen Mirren, and River Phoenix. Fuck that movie with a herpes infected dick. And not just slightly infected, the type of infected that you could get herpes of the lung just by being in the same room with it. A dick so infected your Doctor questions his life choices that led him to be a doctor. A dick with so many oozing sores that a Shamwow doesn't have enough absorbing potential. Literally you use a Shamwow as a underwear liner and you have to change it 3 times a day. So much herpes that the dick reminds people of a nuttybuddy. Seriously fuck this movie.  |
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Post by Vassaggo on Jun 25, 2018 11:15:11 GMT
I'm not kidding. A dick with so much herpes the crabs each have their own 2 bedroom pustule. If a blind man was giving this dick a handjob he would confuse it with a Braille version of War and Peace. A piece corn on the cob is smoother than this penis. It has so many large sores people confuse it with a piece of Calamari. I don't know if I am being clear enough in my utter hate of this movie.
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NormanClature
Junior Member
"Anyone would think tin-pot-dictatorship is a bad thing???!?"
@armyofone
Posts: 2,108
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Post by NormanClature on Jun 25, 2018 11:54:08 GMT
No brainer - "Synecdoche, New York." Watching that movie was literally one of the worst experiences of my life and I have been in the same room as someone when they passed away. I'm not kidding. If Charlie Kaufman had been stood outside the cinema that night, I would happily have taken a baseball bat to his head. It also had an effect on the way I watch cinema. Obviously I decided I was never going to watch another movie made by that pretentious douche-bag. That was quickly followed by the realization I no longer want to watch movies made by people like Michel Gondry, Noah Baumbach, Wes Anderson etc, because they are a bit too similar. And finally I concluded that I don't want to watch any movies that have the potential to be deeply miserable. So if Schindler's List was released now, I wouldn't be watching that either. Seriously, FUCK YOU, CHARLIE KAUFMAN!!!!  |
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Post by Nalkarj on Jun 25, 2018 11:57:44 GMT
Hm. Well.
I love The Mosquito Coast, so I’ll bow out of saying anything more about that…
Just offhand, I had a very visceral reaction against Pleasantville—a mean-spirited, hypocritical mess of a movie. (Apropos of superheroes, though, the wonderful Justice League episode “Legends” handles Pleasantville’s central theme with far more grace and class than that horrendous film did.)
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Post by Vassaggo on Jun 25, 2018 12:05:44 GMT
No brainer - "Synecdoche, New York." Watching that movie was literally one of the worst experiences of my life and I have been in the same room as someone when they passed away. I'm not kidding. If Charlie Kaufman had been stood outside the cinema that night, I would happily have taken a baseball bat to his head. It also had an effect on the way I watch cinema. Obviously I decided I was never going to watch another movie made by that pretentious douche-bag. That was quickly followed by the realization I no longer want to watch movies made by people like Michel Gondry, Noah Baumbach, Wes Anderson etc, because they are a bit too similar. And finally I concluded that I don't want to watch any movies that have the potential to be deeply miserable. So if Schindler's List was released now, I wouldn't be watching that either. Seriously, FUCK YOU, CHARLIE KAUFMAN!!!! I've never had the displeasure of watching it. So kudos to me I guess. |
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Post by Vassaggo on Jun 25, 2018 12:13:37 GMT
Hm. Well. I love The Mosquito Coast, so I’ll bow out of saying anything more about that… Just offhand, I had a very visceral reaction against Pleasantville—a mean-spirited, hypocritical mess of a movie. (Apropos of superheroes, though, the Justice League wonderful episode “Legends” handles Pleasantville’s central theme with far more grace and class than that horrendous film did.) Ok some context. I was 9 when that movie came out. I think I watched it when I was 12ish. Quite like you with Pleasantville, I reacted badly to it. It was the first time I was almost offended by the horribleness of a movie. I can't pinpoint the exact cause, it was just the whole movie. The reaction was so bad, I remember that movie as being north of 3hr run time. I watched it again in my 20's. My girlfriend at the time asked me what was my least favorite movie. I said Mosquito Coast. As a joke she rented it, I was flabbergasted that the movie was only 2hrs long. The movie is so bad it effected my sense of time. I rewatched it and I was almost convinced that the run time on the case was wrong. I know it's irrational, but I can't help it. |
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NormanClature
Junior Member
"Anyone would think tin-pot-dictatorship is a bad thing???!?"
@armyofone
Posts: 2,108
Likes: 1,196
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Post by NormanClature on Jun 25, 2018 12:13:54 GMT
No brainer - "Synecdoche, New York." Watching that movie was literally one of the worst experiences of my life and I have been in the same room as someone when they passed away. I'm not kidding. If Charlie Kaufman had been stood outside the cinema that night, I would happily have taken a baseball bat to his head. It also had an effect on the way I watch cinema. Obviously I decided I was never going to watch another movie made by that pretentious douche-bag. That was quickly followed by the realization I no longer want to watch movies made by people like Michel Gondry, Noah Baumbach, Wes Anderson etc, because they are a bit too similar. And finally I concluded that I don't want to watch any movies that have the potential to be deeply miserable. So if Schindler's List was released now, I wouldn't be watching that either. Seriously, FUCK YOU, CHARLIE KAUFMAN!!!! I've never had the displeasure of watching it. So kudos to me I guess. Fortunately, not that many people have. If anyone else was caught jerking off in public about their neuroses, they'd be arrested. Not only was Kaufman allowed to get away with it scot-free, he charged us all $10 a head to watch.  |
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Post by Nalkarj on Jun 25, 2018 12:18:13 GMT
Hm. Well. I love The Mosquito Coast, so I’ll bow out of saying anything more about that… Just offhand, I had a very visceral reaction against Pleasantville—a mean-spirited, hypocritical mess of a movie. (Apropos of superheroes, though, the Justice League wonderful episode “Legends” handles Pleasantville’s central theme with far more grace and class than that horrendous film did.) Ok some context. I was 9 when that movie came out. I think I watched it when I was 12ish. Quite like you with Pleasantville, I reacted badly to it. It was the first time I was almost offended by the horribleness of a movie. I can't pinpoint the exact cause, it was just the whole movie. The reaction was so bad, I remember that movie as being north of 3hr run time. I watched it again in my 20's. My girlfriend at the time asked me what was my least favorite movie. I said Mosquito Coast. As a joke she rented it, I was flabbergasted that the movie was only 2hrs long. The movie is so bad it effected my sense of time. I rewatched it and I was almost convinced that the run time on the case was wrong. I know it's irrational, but I can't help it. That’s fine, no worries. Actually, I had a similar reaction to The Mosquito Coast when I first saw it (also at about 12ish, maybe!), so I can empathize with you!  Though I also can’t pinpoint an exact cause, I had mostly seen Harrison Ford in the hero parts thus far—Indy, The Fugitive, Air Force One—and I was (this sounds silly) kinda offended that this heroic favorite actor was now this villainous lunatic! (It was the same way with Jimmy Stewart, another favorite actor, in Vertigo as well.) As I’ve grown older, I’ve appreciated the movie more and more—particularly Ford’s performance, in fact. |
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Post by scabab on Jun 25, 2018 14:35:23 GMT
I think the worst movie I've ever seen was Going Overboard.
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Post by Marv on Jun 25, 2018 14:56:38 GMT
A Serbian Film....just horrible all around. Its probably the only movie i regret watching.
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Post by politicidal on Jun 25, 2018 16:13:21 GMT
The Master of Disguise.
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Post by justanaveragejoe on Jun 25, 2018 17:05:50 GMT
Fant4stic, I've never been so pissed off at a movie before since The Amazing Spider-Man 2, but at least that movie had some redeeming qualities to it, Fant4stic has no redeeming qualities at all whatsoever. Seriously, fuck that movie!
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Jun 25, 2018 17:56:44 GMT
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Post by Vassaggo on Jun 25, 2018 18:17:14 GMT
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Jun 25, 2018 18:23:19 GMT
I just watched the trailer on the IMDB page. Listen to the reviews at the end. I believe the film makers either made up those reviews or pay some people off. LOL yeah, its totally a bunch 'o BS |
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Post by Rey Kahuka on Jun 25, 2018 18:23:25 GMT
I've seen so many bad movies over the years, but I can't say one is the absolute worst. I wouldn't want to think about movies I didn't like long enough to determine a ranking for them.
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Post by Vassaggo on Jun 25, 2018 18:51:40 GMT
lenlenlen1 your entry reminded me of all the shitty movies I rented in the 80's. My Dad had the local Mom and Pop video rental place give me an adult membership card for myself. I was born in 77 and he lived near the video place from 86 to 94. You can do the math. That way I could grab any movie of any rating (except for the porn obviously) while he stayed in the car or I could ride my bike to it. He sent me to the gas station beside the movie rental for cigarettes. (It was the 80's) The Vindicator Eliminators Warrior of the Lost World Basketcase Squirm Warriors of the Wastelands 1990: Bronx Warriors Hands of Steel Servants of Twilight The Funhouse Slaughter High Man there were a shit ton of crappy movies in that time period.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Jun 25, 2018 19:29:35 GMT
lenlenlen1 your entry reminded me of all the shitty movies I rented in the 80's. My Dad had the local Mom and Pop video rental place give me an adult membership card for myself. I was born in 77 and he lived near the video place from 86 to 94. You can do the math. That way I could grab any movie of any rating (except for the porn obviously) while he stayed in the car or I could ride my bike to it. He sent me to the gas station beside the movie rental for cigarettes. (It was the 80's) Man there were a shit ton of crappy movies in that time period. Yeah that's the type of crappy movie it was. Except I actually PAID to see it in a theatre.
They got me. They fucking got me...
I remember the era you describe and the movies you mentioned. Good times. At least I didn't pay to see those in a theatre. They fucking got me, man!
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Post by hobowar on Jun 25, 2018 19:36:00 GMT
Kingsman 2 was pretty horrible in my opinion.
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Post by damngumby on Jun 26, 2018 1:22:36 GMT
Alien3
At the time it came out, Alien and Aliens were arguably two of the greatest horror and action movies ever. I was 100% on board with the franchise. Alien3 destroyed everything. Since then, I’ve become a fan of David Fincher but I still find it difficult to forgive him for that abomination. What the fuck were they thinking?
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Though I also can’t pinpoint an exact cause, I had mostly seen Harrison Ford in the hero parts thus far—Indy, The Fugitive, Air Force One—and I was (this sounds silly) kinda offended that this heroic favorite actor was now this villainous lunatic! (It was the same way with Jimmy Stewart, another favorite actor, in Vertigo as well.) As I’ve grown older, I’ve appreciated the movie more and more—particularly Ford’s performance, in fact. 
