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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2018 21:35:38 GMT
COLDEN WARS
EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM HAULFIELD
Our hero COLDENHAULFIELD is missing! Upon reaching his ultimate goal of 10,000 posts he became mysteriously frozen in carbonite!
The EMPIRE led by the cunning DARTH ACKBAR has dispatched probe droids to the far reaches of v2 in the vain hope of locating the lost Jedi.
Meanwhile, the RESISTANCE fighters led by the Haunted Knights of the Old Republic are formulating a plan to rescue Colden from the Outer Rim...
Innit?
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Post by Hauntedknight87 on Jul 5, 2018 22:00:46 GMT
Yeees! More Mr Ackbar!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2018 22:47:29 GMT
To bring Colden back is a feat that only one has achieved, but if we work together I know we can discover the secret...
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2018 23:57:49 GMT
Where is Colden? Is he safe? Is he alright?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 5:07:47 GMT
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Post by Nalkarj on Jul 6, 2018 12:30:29 GMT
THE COLDEN WARS
EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE COLDENS
Despite the mysterious disappearance of our hero COLDENHAULFIELD, life back on the IMDb v2.0 ranch seemed to be progressing normally. In a shock decision, Sheriff SCABAB had appointed RESISTANCE leader HAUNTEDKNIGHT87, head of the Haunted Knights of the Old Republic (that esteemed and august organization), to be his deputy—but, other than that, cowboy FORCE GHOST ACKBAR was still informing us that it’s a trap, local bandito DC-FAN was still trolling (and then writing, “I am not a troll”), blackguard NORMAN CLATURE was still following random posters and suggesting they were Devil’s Island escapees, and life seemed normal but for one thing—again, no COLDEN to save us from whatever insidious plan that THE EMPIRE, led by the moustache-twirling DARTH ACKBAR, was hatching.
And then, one day, a new mystery-man arrived into town, he sat down at the cantina and poured back a drink, he burped and farted, and he declared, “DINOSAURS!” Where had he come from? Why was he here? Everyone glanced about nervously, but no answers were forthcoming. Where was COLDEN? He would have the power to banish this character back whence he had come, even if it were Devil’s Island. But the great man had vanished into the Outer Rim, or possibly the Savage Land, and the Sheriff had to tend to business back at the jailhouse. Finding him was up to Deputy HAUNTEDKNIGHT87, even if he had to go to the other end of the galaxy itself…
But there was a catch even to this brave, bold, and movie-worthy plan: there was not one COLDENHAULFIELD, the great and powerful, but three identical ones, one at each of the forums that we know Colden is on… But all three Coldens had vanished, it seemed—or? Or innit? Or it innit?
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Post by Rey Kahuka on Jul 6, 2018 12:43:57 GMT
Guys, I'm scared. I think formersamhand found out where colden lives.
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Post by Nalkarj on Jul 6, 2018 13:00:03 GMT
Guys, I'm scared. I think formersamhand found out where colden lives. To paraphrase a great Ackbar: “GIVE COLDEN THE PROTECTION!”
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Post by Hauntedknight87 on Jul 6, 2018 13:14:37 GMT
This gives me a great idea for a thread!
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Post by Nalkarj on Jul 6, 2018 13:18:54 GMT
This gives me a great idea for a thread! Anxiously awaiting it!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 16:17:10 GMT
Maybe if we say Colden's name three times he will appear...
Coldenhaulfield! Innit?
Coldenhaulfield!!!!!!1 INNIT?
COLDENHAULFIELD!!!!!!!!!!@&$12345
INNIT?
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Post by Hauntedknight87 on Jul 6, 2018 16:17:33 GMT
This gives me a great idea for a thread! Anxiously awaiting it! Will try and post it later. It's going to be a long post.
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Post by Power Ranger on Jul 6, 2018 17:42:26 GMT
Episode X
There’s a disturbance in the force.
Supreme Chancellor Scabab’s new apprentice, Hauntedknight, has formed a SJW clone army.
Under this brutal regime, freedom is under threat throughout the remnants of the old imdb.
The Disney Trade Federation has established a New Order which bans critical thought. Cinematic quality is determined solely through diversification quotas.
DC-Fan and his band of rebels has been chased to the far reaches of the Popular Movie Franchise boards as they await the return of Coldenhaulfield...
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Post by Hauntedknight87 on Jul 6, 2018 17:46:24 GMT
Episode X There’s a disturbance in the force. Supreme Chancellor Scabab’s new apprentice, Hauntedknight, has formed a SJW clone army. Under this brutal regime, freedom is under threat throughout the remnants of the old imdb. The Disney Trade Federation has established a New Order which bans critical thought. Cinematic quality is determined solely through diversification quotas. DC-Fan and his band of rebels has been chased to the far reaches of the Popular Movie Franchise boards as they await the return of Coldenhaulfield... lmao I see I have a fan!
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2018 17:50:45 GMT
Guys, I'm scared. I think formersamhand found out where colden lives. Oh no!!!!!!1
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Post by Nalkarj on Jul 6, 2018 18:06:44 GMT
1. Whoa. A lot must have happened between Episode II and Episode X. 2. Someone somewhere sometime once said there are two sides to every story. 3. It’s funny that the missing mystery-figure-on-the-side-of-good is still coldenhaulfield. 4. Hey, how about them Mets?
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Post by Nalkarj on Jul 6, 2018 18:15:23 GMT
5. By Episode X, what happened to Häns Haferflöcken? (We could make this into a movie: What Ever Happened to Clinton Greene? With Bette Davis in elaborate make-up as Clinton Greene! )
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Post by No Morpho, Only Bánh mì on Jul 6, 2018 18:19:44 GMT
5. By Episode X, what happened to Häns Haferflöcken ? (We could make this into a movie: What Ever Happened to Clinton Greene? With Bette Davis in elaborate make-up as Clinton Greene! )
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Post by Häns Haferflöcken on Jul 6, 2018 18:28:36 GMT
5. By Episode X, what happened to Häns Haferflöcken ? (We could make this into a movie: What Ever Happened to Clinton Greene? With Bette Davis in elaborate make-up as Clinton Greene! ) thats not me thats homer simson and hilary clinton
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Post by Nalkarj on Jul 6, 2018 18:34:04 GMT
thats not me thats homer simson and hilary clinton Well, at least we know you have a sense of humor, Clinty.
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