The Coldenhaulfield Saga
Jul 6, 2018 18:33:59 GMT
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Nalkarj, No Morpho, Only Bánh mì, and 4 more like this
Post by Hauntedknight87 on Jul 6, 2018 18:33:59 GMT
Inspired by both the Coldenhaulfield thread and the classic JCEU thread!
Basic premise of the thread is to do a cinematic version of the message boards where Colden plays a central part of the story.
@forceghostackbar already got the first part down with episode 1, so I thought it would be fun to continue and even cast everyone!
Nalkarj wrote episode 2!
The Coldenhaulfied Saga:
Episode I: The Phantom Haulfied
"Our hero COLDENHAULFIELD is missing!
Upon reaching his ultimate goal of 10,000 posts
he became mysteriously frozen in carbonite!
The EMPIRE led by the cunning DARTH ACKBAR
has dispatched probe droids to the far reaches of v2
in the vain hope of locating the lost Jedi.
Meanwhile, the RESISTANCE fighters led by the Haunted Knights
of the Old Republic are formulating a plan to rescue Colden
from the Outer Rim..."
Episode II: Attack of the Coldens
"Despite the mysterious disappearance of our hero COLDENHAULFIELD, life back on the IMDb v2.0 ranch seemed to be progressing normally. In a shock decision, Sheriff SCABAB had appointed RESISTANCE leader HAUNTEDKNIGHT87, head of the Haunted Knights of the Old Republic (that esteemed and august organization), to be his deputy—but, other than that, cowboy FORCE GHOST ACKBAR was still informing us that it’s a trap, local bandito DC-FAN was still trolling (and then writing, “I am not a troll”), blackguard NORMAN CLATURE was still following random posters and suggesting they were Devil’s Island escapees, and life seemed normal but for one thing—again, no COLDEN to save us from whatever insidious plan that THE EMPIRE, led by the moustache-twirling DARTH ACKBAR, was hatching.
And then, one day, a new mystery-man arrived into town, he sat down at the cantina and poured back a drink, he burped and farted, and he declared, “DINOSAURS!” Where had he come from? Why was he here? Everyone glanced about nervously, but no answers were forthcoming. Where was COLDEN? He would have the power to banish this character back whence he had come, even if it were Devil’s Island. But the great man had vanished into the Outer Rim, or possibly the Savage Land, and the Sheriff had to tend to business back at the jailhouse. Finding him was up to Deputy HAUNTEDKNIGHT87, even if he had to go to the other end of the galaxy itself…
But there was a catch even to this brave, bold, and movie-worthy plan: there was not one COLDENHAULFIELD, the great and powerful, but three identical ones, one at each of the forums that we know Colden is on… But all three Coldens had vanished, it seemed—or? Or innit? Or it innit?"
Episode III: Revenge of the Trolls
"War! IMDBv2 is crumbleing under attacks by the ruthless Troll, WORMHOLE. There are assholes on both sides. Spammers are everywhere!
In a stunning move, GENERAL DAISYB has swept into CHANCELLOR XMD, Leader of the Galactic Message Boards.
As the Troll Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Moderator Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive chancellor...."
Episode IV: A New Mang
(Plot in works
Episode V (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode VI (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode VII (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode VIII (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode IX (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode X (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
The Cast:
coldenhaulfield - Mark Hamill
Hauntedknight - Tom Hardy
scabab - Gerald Butler
Formersam - Tony Hale
DC-Fan - Mads Mikkelson
@clintongreen - Christopher Walken
No Morpho, Only Bánh mì - Tom Hiddleson
President Ackbar™ - Tom Hanks
Nalkarj - Jason Isaac
NormanClature - Tim Curry
Basic premise of the thread is to do a cinematic version of the message boards where Colden plays a central part of the story.
@forceghostackbar already got the first part down with episode 1, so I thought it would be fun to continue and even cast everyone!
Nalkarj wrote episode 2!
The Coldenhaulfied Saga:
Episode I: The Phantom Haulfied
"Our hero COLDENHAULFIELD is missing!
Upon reaching his ultimate goal of 10,000 posts
he became mysteriously frozen in carbonite!
The EMPIRE led by the cunning DARTH ACKBAR
has dispatched probe droids to the far reaches of v2
in the vain hope of locating the lost Jedi.
Meanwhile, the RESISTANCE fighters led by the Haunted Knights
of the Old Republic are formulating a plan to rescue Colden
from the Outer Rim..."
Episode II: Attack of the Coldens
"Despite the mysterious disappearance of our hero COLDENHAULFIELD, life back on the IMDb v2.0 ranch seemed to be progressing normally. In a shock decision, Sheriff SCABAB had appointed RESISTANCE leader HAUNTEDKNIGHT87, head of the Haunted Knights of the Old Republic (that esteemed and august organization), to be his deputy—but, other than that, cowboy FORCE GHOST ACKBAR was still informing us that it’s a trap, local bandito DC-FAN was still trolling (and then writing, “I am not a troll”), blackguard NORMAN CLATURE was still following random posters and suggesting they were Devil’s Island escapees, and life seemed normal but for one thing—again, no COLDEN to save us from whatever insidious plan that THE EMPIRE, led by the moustache-twirling DARTH ACKBAR, was hatching.
And then, one day, a new mystery-man arrived into town, he sat down at the cantina and poured back a drink, he burped and farted, and he declared, “DINOSAURS!” Where had he come from? Why was he here? Everyone glanced about nervously, but no answers were forthcoming. Where was COLDEN? He would have the power to banish this character back whence he had come, even if it were Devil’s Island. But the great man had vanished into the Outer Rim, or possibly the Savage Land, and the Sheriff had to tend to business back at the jailhouse. Finding him was up to Deputy HAUNTEDKNIGHT87, even if he had to go to the other end of the galaxy itself…
But there was a catch even to this brave, bold, and movie-worthy plan: there was not one COLDENHAULFIELD, the great and powerful, but three identical ones, one at each of the forums that we know Colden is on… But all three Coldens had vanished, it seemed—or? Or innit? Or it innit?"
Episode III: Revenge of the Trolls
"War! IMDBv2 is crumbleing under attacks by the ruthless Troll, WORMHOLE. There are assholes on both sides. Spammers are everywhere!
In a stunning move, GENERAL DAISYB has swept into CHANCELLOR XMD, Leader of the Galactic Message Boards.
As the Troll Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Moderator Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive chancellor...."
Episode IV: A New Mang
(Plot in works
Episode V (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode VI (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode VII (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode VIII (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode IX (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
Episode X (Currently untitled)
(Plot in works)
The Cast:
coldenhaulfield - Mark Hamill
Hauntedknight - Tom Hardy
scabab - Gerald Butler
Formersam - Tony Hale
DC-Fan - Mads Mikkelson
@clintongreen - Christopher Walken
No Morpho, Only Bánh mì - Tom Hiddleson
President Ackbar™ - Tom Hanks
Nalkarj - Jason Isaac
NormanClature - Tim Curry