Post by PresidentofChad on Jul 29, 2018 18:08:17 GMT
As many of you know, I am on the lookout for a new First Lady of Chad. To uphold my reputation as a suave ladies man and possessor of irresistible sexual magnetism, I would like her to be a well known Western celebrity. I have narrowed my choices down to four candidates, for whom I will list pros and cons. Feel free to suggest other choices who you think would mesh with my personality and the rich cultural heritage of Chad. I am aware that three of these four women are married, but that is not a concern. I am a Chad and can steal anyone's wife. Being a head of state also makes assassinations easy to arrange.
I. Natalie Portman
Pros- A very intelligent woman who could converse on political issues and would produce very intelligent offspring with me
Cons- Being Jewish is not a popular lifestyle choice in Chad. She is also very short, so crowds of people may have trouble seeing her wave to them if she is surrounded by tall bodyguards
II. Amy Adams
Pros- Seems like a very maternal and kind woman who would show compassion for Chadians and our progeny
Cons- Chadians are not accustomed to seeing red hair so it may frighten them and incite riots.
III. Adriana Lima
Pros- Is a Victoria's Secret model. They are regularly cited as the most beautiful women in the world and thus marrying one would buttress my reputation as a great lover. She also has some African descent
Cons- I met her once and asked if she wanted to come to my hotel room to sing the Chadian National Anthem while I came on her. She did not react well to this suggestion but maybe she was just having a bad day.
IV. Kim Kardashian
Pros- Her ass is gargantuan and if she relocated to Chad we could possibly get it named one of the wonders of the world and a UNESCO World Heritage site. It has been my dream to have one of those in Chad.
Cons- Her attempting to film her reality show in Chad could result in our national secrets being unwittingly broadcast to American audiences.
I. Natalie Portman
Pros- A very intelligent woman who could converse on political issues and would produce very intelligent offspring with me
Cons- Being Jewish is not a popular lifestyle choice in Chad. She is also very short, so crowds of people may have trouble seeing her wave to them if she is surrounded by tall bodyguards
II. Amy Adams
Pros- Seems like a very maternal and kind woman who would show compassion for Chadians and our progeny
Cons- Chadians are not accustomed to seeing red hair so it may frighten them and incite riots.
III. Adriana Lima
Pros- Is a Victoria's Secret model. They are regularly cited as the most beautiful women in the world and thus marrying one would buttress my reputation as a great lover. She also has some African descent
Cons- I met her once and asked if she wanted to come to my hotel room to sing the Chadian National Anthem while I came on her. She did not react well to this suggestion but maybe she was just having a bad day.
IV. Kim Kardashian
Pros- Her ass is gargantuan and if she relocated to Chad we could possibly get it named one of the wonders of the world and a UNESCO World Heritage site. It has been my dream to have one of those in Chad.
Cons- Her attempting to film her reality show in Chad could result in our national secrets being unwittingly broadcast to American audiences.
