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Post by islandmur on Oct 5, 2018 22:50:12 GMT
No you won’t remember dates, you won’t remember street names or addresses… you will remember terror and dread… you might block out time, but you will remember being pinned down, unable to move… you’ll remember the smells and some of the words… the look in their eyes and the cruel laughter because for some reason they laugh they always seem to be laughing in all the stories, I thought it was only in mine, but no it seems to be part of the ordeal.
I don’t even remember the year anymore… but I still can visualize vividly in all details the penis that was waved in my face and pushed against my mouth... I can describe the texture of it better than a cloth maker. 30 Years later I still feel the hands holding me down on the couch, but I don’t remember what color that couch was.. I can still hear the zipper sliding down but can’t recall what they were wearing… it’s not that my memory is false it’s that the things I don’t remember were eclipsed by the other things that were happening…
And I can remember when I decided to not report it, not talk about it… it was after the first questions when I mentioned something had happened to me… friends, family… you would have thought they would be the supporting ones… noooo they wanted details they wanted to know the why would they do that… are you sure you didn’t do x or y… so I buried it.
Or I tried to, but it would come out… I would lash out at people for touching me without warning, one poor woman almost got slapped for hugging me from behind at a funeral no less… I can’t stand to be in an enclosed spaced… doors have to be opened always so I can breathe, my 7 year old son knows this phrase by heart “honey get out of behind my back I can’t stand to feel anything there” and he hates it.
And then you read on the news about how they treat women that come forward and you say to yourself.. see I did the right thing I buried it because no one would have believed it anyways.
No you won’t ever recall details that do not matter because you will forever remember emotions and feelings that will haunt you in ways you never imagined and ruin things in your life in your soul that will not even register on your mind as results of that until you try to figure out why you don’t like feeling people behind your back, why you can’t stand being touched with no warning, why you feel squeezed and can’t breathe when doors are closed…
You’ll remember all right… you’ll remember them and it… that’s what branded your psyche… not the street, not the day, not the year… that’s not important that was overpowered and displaced by all the other memories that just won’t go away after 10, 20 , 30 , 40 or even 70 years.
Muriel Vieux
5 Octobre 2018
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Post by The Herald Erjen on Oct 6, 2018 0:27:34 GMT
Is this a Kavanaugh thing?
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Post by islandmur on Oct 6, 2018 10:28:43 GMT
This is a me thing, this is what happened to me.
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Oct 6, 2018 16:17:32 GMT
This is a me thing, this is what happened to me. Don't say anything further, Mur, you've said it all. They eviscerated me over on the politics board. |
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Post by thefleetsin on Oct 7, 2018 18:25:00 GMT
smiling while afghanistan burns
i tried to smile
once
when the currents said:
bigotry was
this close to being
dead.
and
those irrepressible iraqi kids
tossed
soccer balls
into vacated halls
where tyrants played:
soon to be
shopping malls
prerecorded anthems.
and
when i received the call
leaping
at the chance to
explain it all.
but
men are still in power
and
aiming for:
the longest running war in history.
and
all i can hear is their:
can you
be
my mommy?
and
i instantaneously think of you.
sjw 10/07/18 inspired at this very moment in time by one of my one hundred: big momma on a lil island. :-)
from the 'benevolent series' of poems
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Post by islandmur on Oct 7, 2018 19:24:45 GMT
thank you fleetsin
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Post by Proud MGTOW on Oct 8, 2018 8:38:21 GMT
Translation: no matter whether details are remembered or not, we should just believe the woman no matter what and assume guilt of the accused. Because the female is sacrosanct and incapable of lying about this sort of thing.
"I don't even remember the year anymore"
Probably because there is no year to remember because you're likely lying through your teeth to get attention like Christine Ford did.
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Oct 8, 2018 9:36:56 GMT
Translation: no matter whether details are remembered or not, we should just believe the woman no matter what and assume guilt of the accused. Because the female is sacrosanct and incapable of lying about this sort of thing. "I don't even remember the year anymore" Probably because there is no year to remember because you're likely lying through your teeth to get attention like Christine Ford did. Rape can be difficult to prove and another important issue is not the accusation of rape itself, but how did the female get herself into that situation in the first place. What events led up to the incident and is it perhaps also 'guilt' conscience\regret that lead to the claim\accusation. Emotions can have a powerful hold on us and they can also lie. How is the term 'rape' actually defined and is it misused and misrepresented? I think it has now become a throwaway term.
I think anyone who has a story to tell is worth listening too, but it CANNOT be a clear cut case of because I say so, this is the truth and way it was, or the way it actually happened.
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Post by hanswilm on Oct 8, 2018 15:25:36 GMT
Once again, this isn't how life works. Once again after the Duke Lacrosse scandal and other false claim stories...claims have to be taken seriously but there has to actually be some type of evidence and proof. If not than there is nothing to do or react to.
Your entire premise is evil, there needs to be ZERO proof, ZERO evidence. You want people to treat someone as guilty just because of party A's word when party B says it didn't happen.
We don't treat people as guilty, treat them as criminals because one person makes a claim that has zero evidence to support it....36 years after it supposedly happens.
"I say it happens" isn't the only evidence we need in this world. You are scary if you believe it is. |
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 8, 2018 15:31:29 GMT
You don't remember those sorts of details--that's fine. I'm sure that's a possible later state after something like this.
Now, the pertinent thing here is that if you can't recall any of those sorts of details, and all you can tell us is a claim that something happened and your emotional reaction to it, then why is anyone supposed to put much stock in the claim, especially when putting a lot of stock into the claim will seriously impact someone else's life, and how in the world would we investigate the claim?
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 8, 2018 15:55:36 GMT
Re this, by the way: "you will remember being pinned down, unable to move…" learn some self-defense, including some judo/at least basic grappling techniques. That way if something like that ever happens again, you won't be unable to move. (And even if you are just saying that figuratively you weren't able to move, self-defense will enable you to get past that, too. You'll get to a point where muscle memory takes over and instinctually (or more literally habitually), you'll physically get out of the situation).
Everyone should learn self-defense. Have your kids start learning when they're young--starting at least a 5 or 6 years old (a lot of dojos will start kids even at 4). Of course, your attacker would know self-defense in that case, too, but even so, a worst case scenario would involve a bit of sparring rather than a sexual assault, and you'll have physical evidence to show that you were involved in a scuffle, which is important for prosecuting the aggressor.
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Oct 8, 2018 16:05:28 GMT
You don't remember those sorts of details--that's fine. I'm sure that's a possible later state after something like this. Now, the pertinent thing here is that if you can't recall any of those sorts of details, and all you can tell us is a claim that something happened and your emotional reaction to it, then why is anyone supposed to put much stock in the claim, especially when putting a lot of stock into the claim will seriously impact someone else's life, and how in the world would we investigate the claim? Remembering the person is pretty big too, but this is simply describing normal human memory which is in o way set up like a hard drive or DVR. I said this in the politics threads that I can't recall the day or time of most traumatic events in my life, but I can also tell you the who were involved with them and the overall important details of the event. It is the matter of opinion that determines whether or not to take the claim seriously so no one is making you anymore than anyone made you post. That doesn't actually discredit the testimony though nor the ability of others to empathize & believe the victim. |
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 8, 2018 16:13:47 GMT
You don't remember those sorts of details--that's fine. I'm sure that's a possible later state after something like this. Now, the pertinent thing here is that if you can't recall any of those sorts of details, and all you can tell us is a claim that something happened and your emotional reaction to it, then why is anyone supposed to put much stock in the claim, especially when putting a lot of stock into the claim will seriously impact someone else's life, and how in the world would we investigate the claim? Remembering the person is pretty big too, but this is simply describing normal human memory which is in o way set up like a hard drive or DVR. I said this in the politics threads that I can't recall the day or time of most traumatic events in my life, but I can also tell you the who were involved with them and the overall important details of the event. It is the matter of opinion that determines whether or not to take the claim seriously so no one is making you anymore than anyone made you post. That doesn't actually discredit the testimony though nor the ability of others to empathize & believe the victim. What would justify taking the claim seriously/believing it (versus simply being neutral about it; disbelieving it is a third option that we don't have to take--we can be neutral rather than believing or disbelieving) when (a) the person can't remember many details and especially when (b) believing it and taking action on that would result in something that has a big (especially negative) impact on someone else's life? |
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Post by thefleetsin on Oct 9, 2018 17:41:17 GMT
you're welcome. and keep those letters forming words into sentences tumbling into paragraphs winding up in chapters landing in a book. for it is the very foundation of the kingdom of the heart. |
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Post by islandmur on Oct 9, 2018 18:40:05 GMT
Gee until fleetsin thanked me I didn't realize other people had even replied to this thread.
This story is not about accusing people (putting them in jail)
It's just that I'm saying I've been through this myself and I also don't recall certain details.
No one does unless you have perfect recall or something... in any memory you have you remember what matters to YOU. That is why people describing the same event come up with different details even if the main story remains the same.
I also remember falling off a roof and breaking my arm, and I don't remember the year that happened either.
I remember my grandfather dying but I don't recall the year or the day either... I can look them up though.
I would think that most people don't remember dates of events in their lives except if it's a date that already had another meaning behind it, like christmas or new year or the earthquake or 911 by association the date sticks. But mostly if it's something personal to you and you don't write a journal you most likely do not recall the date of events that only matter to you and no one else. You remember the events.
I think it's mean to come on my thread and accuse me of lying when you don't know me from adam or eve and i'm not attacking you or accusing you of anything... just posting my own story to say that yes something traumatic can happen to you and you don't recall details.
Apart from that all you haters can go to hell.
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Post by goz on Oct 9, 2018 23:57:17 GMT
Gee until fleetsin thanked me I didn't realize other people had even replied to this thread. This story is not about accusing people (putting them in jail) It's just that I'm saying I've been through this myself and I also don't recall certain details. No one does unless you have perfect recall or something... in any memory you have you remember what matters to YOU. That is why people describing the same event come up with different details even if the main story remains the same. I also remember falling off a roof and breaking my arm, and I don't remember the year that happened either. I remember my grandfather dying but I don't recall the year or the day either... I can look them up though. I would think that most people don't remember dates of events in their lives except if it's a date that already had another meaning behind it, like christmas or new year or the earthquake or 911 by association the date sticks. But mostly if it's something personal to you and you don't write a journal you most likely do not recall the date of events that only matter to you and no one else. You remember the events. I think it's mean to come on my thread and accuse me of lying when you don't know me from adam or eve and i'm not attacking you or accusing you of anything... just posting my own story to say that yes something traumatic can happen to you and you don't recall details. Apart from that all you haters can go to hell. You were warned on this thread. It is a sad fact of life that the 'rape mentality' of many males is alive and well and evidenced on this thread. By rape mentality I don't mean that they would necessarily rape themselves, butt there is an entrenched misogyny that demands that men cannot accept that women claim rape as a lack of consent to sex. They just don't 'get it'. There is a 'boys' club' mentality which gives no credibility to women and their autonomy over their bodies. How do you think the #metoo phenomenon took so many years to come out? It is sad. Even some of the more liberal sensible and just men on here don't 'get it'. Rape is about power, and men want to cling to it. In past times women have been a free labour force as wives, giving men sex children home comfort food cleanliness succour often income ( working in the fields etc) and it is too hard for them to grow up and stop being little cosseted boys when women in our society want to be equal in the workforce and society in general. |
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Post by islandmur on Oct 10, 2018 18:38:50 GMT
Gee until fleetsin thanked me I didn't realize other people had even replied to this thread. This story is not about accusing people (putting them in jail) It's just that I'm saying I've been through this myself and I also don't recall certain details. No one does unless you have perfect recall or something... in any memory you have you remember what matters to YOU. That is why people describing the same event come up with different details even if the main story remains the same. I also remember falling off a roof and breaking my arm, and I don't remember the year that happened either. I remember my grandfather dying but I don't recall the year or the day either... I can look them up though. I would think that most people don't remember dates of events in their lives except if it's a date that already had another meaning behind it, like christmas or new year or the earthquake or 911 by association the date sticks. But mostly if it's something personal to you and you don't write a journal you most likely do not recall the date of events that only matter to you and no one else. You remember the events. I think it's mean to come on my thread and accuse me of lying when you don't know me from adam or eve and i'm not attacking you or accusing you of anything... just posting my own story to say that yes something traumatic can happen to you and you don't recall details. Apart from that all you haters can go to hell. You were warned on this thread. It is a sad fact of life that the 'rape mentality' of many males is alive and well and evidenced on this thread. By rape mentality I don't mean that they would necessarily rape themselves, butt there is an entrenched misogyny that demands that men cannot accept that women claim rape as a lack of consent to sex. They just don't 'get it'. There is a 'boys' club' mentality which gives no credibility to women and their autonomy over their bodies. How do you think the #metoo phenomenon took so many years to come out? It is sad. Even some of the more liberal sensible and just men on here don't 'get it'. Rape is about power, and men want to cling to it. In past times women have been a free labour force as wives, giving men sex children home comfort food cleanliness succour often income ( working in the fields etc) and it is too hard for them to grow up and stop being little cosseted boys when women in our society want to be equal in the workforce and society in general. I know you said something but that still would not have stopped me from posting it. |
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Post by goz on Oct 10, 2018 20:00:50 GMT
You were warned on this thread. It is a sad fact of life that the 'rape mentality' of many males is alive and well and evidenced on this thread. By rape mentality I don't mean that they would necessarily rape themselves, butt there is an entrenched misogyny that demands that men cannot accept that women claim rape as a lack of consent to sex. They just don't 'get it'. There is a 'boys' club' mentality which gives no credibility to women and their autonomy over their bodies. How do you think the #metoo phenomenon took so many years to come out? It is sad. Even some of the more liberal sensible and just men on here don't 'get it'. Rape is about power, and men want to cling to it. In past times women have been a free labour force as wives, giving men sex children home comfort food cleanliness succour often income ( working in the fields etc) and it is too hard for them to grow up and stop being little cosseted boys when women in our society want to be equal in the workforce and society in general. I know you said something but that still would not have stopped me from posting it. It wasn't me, actually and I respect you for posting this thread as I am a feminist and past rape victim. I just hated to see your disappointment at the predicable male responses. |
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Post by islandmur on Oct 10, 2018 20:22:57 GMT
Opps sorry thought it was you !
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Post by goz on Oct 10, 2018 21:02:04 GMT
Opps sorry thought it was you ! No. wuccas! It was rachelcarson1953 |
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