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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Oct 25, 2018 16:53:50 GMT
Catman thought this was going to be about Gem and Kirk in 'The Empath' from Star Trek. SOME of us cat people were raised on the FIRST generation, and it suits us just fine, you young whipper-snapper!
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Oct 25, 2018 16:55:30 GMT
SOME of us cat people were raised on the FIRST generation, and it suits us just fine, you young whipper-snapper! LOL! Wel then I don't even want to know what you think about the NEW movie series!
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Oct 25, 2018 17:01:22 GMT
SOME of us cat people were raised on the FIRST generation, and it suits us just fine, you young whipper-snapper! LOL! Wel then I don't even want to know what you think about the NEW movie series! What new movie series? Seriously, I've not seen any, but liked the actor Anton Yelchin... it had to have been good with him in it, may he rest in peace.
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 25, 2018 17:04:41 GMT
One of the most irresponsible things that psychology sometimes does is suggest that anyone neatly fits into some category or other, with a laundry list of descriptors fitting individuals who get put into the category in question. It's not that different than writing horoscopes. Actually, no, this is well-documented behavioral analysis. And yes, I've been diagnosed by a psychologist, this is a factor in my life-long depression for which I take meds that help, and therapy that helps me set boundaries and say 'no'. It has nothing to do with what day I was born, or some other arbitrary bullsh!t. Apples and oranges. People don't fit into neat little categories like that. That's not how real people are.
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Oct 25, 2018 17:12:50 GMT
Actually, no, this is well-documented behavioral analysis. And yes, I've been diagnosed by a psychologist, this is a factor in my life-long depression for which I take meds that help, and therapy that helps me set boundaries and say 'no'. It has nothing to do with what day I was born, or some other arbitrary bullsh!t. Apples and oranges. People don't fit into neat little categories like that. That's not how real people are. I'm a real person... are you a real person? What is reality, really? Oh, wait... WHATEVER.
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 25, 2018 17:16:03 GMT
People don't fit into neat little categories like that. That's not how real people are. I'm a real person... Which means that you don't neatly fit into the category "empath," with a laundry list of psychological traits, most of which fit you, to the exclusion of other categories. You wouldn't fit that any better than you fit the laundry list of psychological traits proposed for something like "Aries."
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Oct 25, 2018 17:22:57 GMT
Which means that you don't neatly fit into the category "empath," with a laundry list of psychological traits, most of which fit you, to the exclusion of other categories. You wouldn't fit that any better than you fit the laundry list of psychological traits proposed for something like "Aries." W H A T E V E R...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2018 17:24:20 GMT
People don't fit into neat little categories like that. That's not how real people are. I'm a real person... are you a real person? What is reality, really? Oh, wait... WHATEVER. Don't worry about it. The people who don't recognize that some people are just givers are the usually the ones who treat them like doormats anyway.
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 25, 2018 17:29:33 GMT
I'm a real person... are you a real person? What is reality, really? Oh, wait... WHATEVER. Don't worry about it. The people who don't recognize that some people are just givers are the usually the ones who treat them like doormats anyway. A fine example of why it's irresponsible for psychology to promote categories like this.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2018 17:31:21 GMT
Don't worry about it. The people who don't recognize that some people are just givers are the usually the ones who treat them like doormats anyway. A fine example of why it's irresponsible for psychology to promote categories like this. Terrapin, why do you ever reply to me? I stopped responding to you a long time ago because you've revealed more than once that you have no concept of appropriate boundaries about most things.
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Post by Terrapin Station on Oct 25, 2018 17:46:50 GMT
A fine example of why it's irresponsible for psychology to promote categories like this. Terrapin, why do you ever reply to me? I stopped responding to you a long time ago because you've revealed more than once that you have no concept of appropriate boundaries about most things. Honestly I don't normally pay a lot of attention to just who I'm responding to. I just read the comments without paying attention to who said what (I don't keep notes on anyone anyway; often I only remember a username or avatar and that's it; often not even that), and if it prompts the cobwebs in my head to be sufficiently aroused, then the monks in my head stop snoring and start cranking the gears. And yeah, re "appropriate boundaries," leaving those forms blank was a very intentional decision on my part. I'm happy to have anyone ignore me who'd prefer to ignore me. I'd really rather make my comments undisturbed. I'd be fine with every single person putting me on ignore. I have no need for anyone on the board to respond to me, though it would be amusing (well, or just sadly in character--I can't make up my mind which one) for anyone here to give themselves that much credit.
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Oct 25, 2018 18:03:08 GMT
Terrapin, why do you ever reply to me? I stopped responding to you a long time ago because you've revealed more than once that you have no concept of appropriate boundaries about most things. Honestly I don't normally pay a lot of attention to just who I'm responding to. I just read the comments without paying attention to who said what (I don't keep notes on anyone anyway; often I only remember a username or avatar and that's it; often not even that), and if it prompts the cobwebs in my head to be sufficiently aroused, then the monks in my head stop snoring and start cranking the gears. And yeah, re "appropriate boundaries," leaving those forms blank was a very intentional decision on my part. I'm happy to have anyone ignore me who'd prefer to ignore me. I'd really rather make my comments undisturbed. I'd be fine with every single person putting me on ignore. I have no need for anyone on the board to respond to me, though it would be amusing (well, or just sadly in character--I can't make up my mind which one) for anyone here to give themselves that much credit. As soon as I post this, onto 'block' you will go.
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Post by dirtypillows on Oct 25, 2018 18:04:49 GMT
Which means that you don't neatly fit into the category "empath," with a laundry list of psychological traits, most of which fit you, to the exclusion of other categories. You wouldn't fit that any better than you fit the laundry list of psychological traits proposed for something like "Aries." I have a friend who tells repeatedly me he's an empath. I don't say anything, except to give him mild congratulations. If you are an empath, you don't need to remind people all the time. And while he may have a soft heart, and though he's certainly not a bad person, he's not all that empathic sometimes. He can be very self-centered, too. I like Judith Orloff. I met her at a book-signing. She was modest and very smart and really nice.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2018 18:26:53 GMT
Which means that you don't neatly fit into the category "empath," with a laundry list of psychological traits, most of which fit you, to the exclusion of other categories. You wouldn't fit that any better than you fit the laundry list of psychological traits proposed for something like "Aries." I have a friend who tells repeatedly me he's an empath. I don't say anything, except to give him mild congratulations. If you are an empath, you don't need to remind people all the time. And while he may have a soft heart, and though he's certainly not a bad person, he's not all that empathic sometimes. He can be very self-centered, too. I like Judith Orloff. I met her at a book-signing. She was modest and very smart and really nice. It's not a super-power, and not necessarily a good thing. Empaths are rescuers who genuinely feel like they aren't allowed to have emotional needs because their job is to meet everyone else's. In my case it isn't some noble trait, it was just how I was raised to be. And I always have narcissists circling me because of it, but not setting boundaries is my own fault.
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Post by dirtypillows on Oct 25, 2018 18:35:22 GMT
I have a friend who tells repeatedly me he's an empath. I don't say anything, except to give him mild congratulations. If you are an empath, you don't need to remind people all the time. And while he may have a soft heart, and though he's certainly not a bad person, he's not all that empathic sometimes. He can be very self-centered, too. I like Judith Orloff. I met her at a book-signing. She was modest and very smart and really nice. It's not a super-power, and not necessarily a good thing. Empaths are rescuers who genuinely feel like they aren't allowed to have emotional needs because their job is to meet everyone else's. In my case it isn't some noble trait, it was just how I was raised to be. And I always have narcissists circling me because of it, but not setting boundaries is my own fault. Yes, it can be draining having somebody telling you all the time just how wonderful and superior they are to the rest of us mortal souls.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2018 23:37:11 GMT
I have found that people who in a relationship are the more empathetic ones can only keep that certain level of support that the more self centered ones thrive on for so long.
It's good while it lasts, but at some point the devotion starts to drain, and the empathetic one starts to tire and withdraw, or find someone else to give back some attention. By that point, the more self involved one has often already found someone else to provide that attention that is craved.
I think it's the way many relationships rise and fall. I have plenty of friends that are "Marrying for money this time" after multiples of relationships like that.
Funny thing is, I've even seen the roles flip. Someone who was the taker in one relationship becoming the giver in the next, and vice versa.
I think sometimes it's just hard to find people that can achieve that balance together.
Of course everyone's experience is different, but that is what I have seen.
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Post by Nora on Oct 26, 2018 12:39:57 GMT
One of the most irresponsible things that psychology sometimes does is suggest that anyone neatly fits into some category or other, with a laundry list of descriptors fitting individuals who get put into the category in question. It's not that different than writing horoscopes. yeah, i was reading it wondering: and what about us, empathetic narcissists?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 6:13:35 GMT
Empaths want to fix everyone else's problems. Interesting article Marilyn.
Basically, narcissists are self-serving manipulators and empaths are deluded, thinking they are rescuers and can change others with their compassion, or if that is what it is. It is one extreme to the other.
If the narcissist is charming, one can see how they can hook in an empath. I wonder if this is more prevalent with narcissist males towards empath females?
I would imagine that it is a dynamic that crosses into many types of relationships. Charming is a prominent trait in most narcissists. They're only crazy enough to make you feel nuts. Empath is just a personality type vulnerable to it. It took me a long time not to learn how to not be the world's doormat.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2018 6:34:31 GMT
I would imagine that it is a dynamic that crosses into many types of relationships. Charming is a prominent trait in most narcissists. They're only crazy enough to make you feel nuts. Empath is just a personality type vulnerable to it. It took me a long time not to learn how not to be the world's doormat. I watched a you tube clip not long ago about the difference between psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. The credentials of the psychologist talking appeared very credible and she appeared to be a very nice lady as well. If I find it, I will link it to you. She said not all narcissists are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are narcissistic. Sociopathic behaviour is apparently learned as a defence mechanism. I think she also mentioned about males being the more narcissistic, but that is slowly changing and females are catching up. I guess it must be all this equality thing. Women can absolutely be just as abusive as men. That equality thing can be a double edged sword, but it's really time for it to.
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