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Post by Nicko's Nose on Oct 28, 2018 22:01:28 GMT
Oy fucking vey. Dude was feeling depressed, posts a vulnerable thread about it and gets pushed into deleting. If you're not helping you're hurting. I hope he comes back. Yeah. Personally I like him. |
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Post by ant-mac on Oct 28, 2018 22:10:31 GMT
Oy fucking vey. Dude was feeling depressed, posts a vulnerable thread about it, and gets pushed into deleting. If you're not helping you're hurting. I hope he comes back. That's possible, but it's also possible that he's just looking for attention and sympathy. It's just so difficult to tell in this day and age, especially on the internet.
However, as I indicated in my original response to him on this thread, "Only you can be the judge of that." By which I mean he is responsible for his own self-image and how he feels about himself. He's also responsible for his own actions, such as deleting his own account.
We all are.
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Oct 28, 2018 22:15:05 GMT
What kind of response do you suppose he was looking for?
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Post by ant-mac on Oct 28, 2018 22:17:19 GMT
What kind of response do you suppose he was looking for? Sympathetic? 
Who knows?
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Post by Salzmank on Oct 28, 2018 22:48:21 GMT
I know that @nxnwrocks will be back, so I don’t mind a bit if he sees this, but I’d just like to record a few observations. I think (I can’t be sure) that he and I met in talking about old mysteries, which we both like. He was fine and pleasant and chipper, and we didn’t always agree on everything but got a good dialogue going. Then suddenly he completely changed. He became nasty, belligerent, vituperative, and mocking. The same transformation had happened with another since-deleted poster, @gottaluvafriend, who also liked classic mysteries. (Now I’m wondering if they’re the same person.) He would ask sarcastic rhetorical questions to just about everyone. Then he changed back. He wrote me a lot of PMs about authors, mystery and non-mystery, asking for my opinions. I responded to a few of them, though not all. Then the Worthington fiasco happened as Bat described it. Whole thread here. He didn’t get on with Bat. And then he started up with the sarcasm and sardonicism again, especially in posting on the Classics board. As london777 there accurately noted, he [London] had lost the title of most curmudgeonly poster to nxnwrocks—which, if you know London, was quite an accomplishment. But many of nxnw’s posts were not even curmudgeonly, they were just mean. He often went back and forth between the nice mood and the mean mood, depending on the day. He grew angrier and angrier at Bat and then at me when I would defend Bat. He found a “place where we hang out,” as Bat called it, and spammed it up with message after message, when he’d never posted there before. The goal was obviously to annoy Bat and me. Then, recently, he switched to woe-is-me threads, which are in their way even more annoying. He became convinced that few people liked him. I don’t know if he has genuine psychiatric problems that affected his postings here. That’s above my pay-grade. But it was the going back and forth that seemed very unusual, annoying, and troubling. TL;DR (is that the right initialism?): He told me “sorry” for being nasty several times. (The sorries got annoying and cloying; they reminded me of Hayden Christensen’s Stephen Glass.) He started right back up with being nasty after every sorry. I forgave him every time; I’d still forgive him. But he kept going back to his old ways, for no real reason, unfortunately. |
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Post by MCDemuth on Oct 28, 2018 23:30:37 GMT
Perhaps...
If nxnwrocks didn't have temper tantrums, and delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him...
His friends could actually contact him at those accounts on a regular basis.
Just something to think about.
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Post by llanwydd on Oct 28, 2018 23:38:37 GMT
Perhaps...If nxnwrocks didn't have temper tantrums, and delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him... His friends could actually contact him at those accounts on a regular basis. Just something to think about. Interesting remark. Did he delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him? |
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Post by Nicko's Nose on Oct 28, 2018 23:44:34 GMT
Perhaps...If nxnwrocks didn't have temper tantrums, and delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him... His friends could actually contact him at those accounts on a regular basis. Just something to think about. Interesting remark. Did he delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him? I doubt it. Since he had thousands of posts on that account. |
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Post by Fox in the Snow on Oct 28, 2018 23:48:02 GMT
I found him a generally nice poster, with a genuine love of film and music. His sometime over-activity which I'm sure for the most part was done with the best of intentions may have done him more harm than good. Hope he'll be back. I Don't recall him ever deleting his account before.
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Post by MCDemuth on Oct 28, 2018 23:52:21 GMT
Perhaps...If nxnwrocks didn't have temper tantrums, and delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him... His friends could actually contact him at those accounts on a regular basis. Just something to think about. Interesting remark. Did he delete his accounts every time someone didn't agree with him? I don't know... But, As usual, I see we have another member who completely missed the hypothetical point of a discussion, and took the post too seriously... I'm not friends with nxnwrocks, but if I were, the only place I know of to contact him, WAS here... And now I can't. I makes one wonder, if his friends have the same trouble... |
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Post by Fox in the Snow on Oct 29, 2018 2:23:46 GMT
Since you seem like external validation of your worth is something you crave (and i get it) here is a suggestion: tell me your first name or initial or pick a favorite animal or something that would somehow feel personal to you, and I will put a reference to it in my show that I am shooting currently if you want. that way there will be a reference to you in something someone created and i think that could make you help stop feeling like nonentity since in a way it will showcase your existence. what do you think? Can anyone take you up on that offer. In return I can name a character "Nora" in one of my screenplays. Can't guarantee it'll ever see the lighght of day though. |
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Post by mecano04 on Oct 29, 2018 3:06:09 GMT
I know that @nxnwrocks will be back, so I don’t mind a bit if he sees this, but I’d just like to record a few observations. I think (I can’t be sure) that he and I met in talking about old mysteries, which we both like. He was fine and pleasant and chipper, and we didn’t always agree on everything but got a good dialogue going. Then suddenly he completely changed. He became nasty, belligerent, vituperative, and mocking. The same transformation had happened with another since-deleted poster, @gottaluvafriend, who also liked classic mysteries. (Now I’m wondering if they’re the same person.) He would ask sarcastic rhetorical questions to just about everyone. Then he changed back. He wrote me a lot of PMs about authors, mystery and non-mystery, asking for my opinions. I responded to a few of them, though not all. Then the Worthington fiasco happened as Bat described it. Whole thread here. He didn’t get on with Bat. And then he started up with the sarcasm and sardonicism again, especially in posting on the Classics board. As london777 there accurately noted, he [London] had lost the title of most curmudgeonly poster to nxnwrocks—which, if you know London, was quite an accomplishment. But many of nxnw’s posts were not even curmudgeonly, they were just mean. He often went back and forth between the nice mood and the mean mood, depending on the day. He grew angrier and angrier at Bat and then at me when I would defend Bat. He found a “place where we hang out,” as Bat called it, and spammed it up with message after message, when he’d never posted there before. The goal was obviously to annoy Bat and me. Then, recently, he switched to woe-is-me threads, which are in their way even more annoying. He became convinced that few people liked him. I don’t know if he has genuine psychiatric problems that affected his postings here. That’s above my pay-grade. But it was the going back and forth that seemed very unusual, annoying, and troubling. TL;DR (is that the right initialism?): He told me “sorry” for being nasty several times. (The sorries got annoying and cloying; they reminded me of Hayden Christensen’s Stephen Glass.) He started right back up with being nasty after every sorry. I forgave him every time; I’d still forgive him. But he kept going back to his old ways, for no real reason, unfortunately. Wasn't @gottaluvafriend the guy with an x-wing (or some spaceship) avatar?
If so, he found the politics board too hard and went to the other site, where some others went too. He might have been a good guy but his factual vs personal attacks post ratio on the politics board didn't make him a popular guy. He was no @MrSinister but too many ad hominem and too little support for his stuff made him quit that board. I can't tell you why he preferred to leave the site entirely instead of sticking to other boards though.
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Post by Salzmank on Oct 29, 2018 3:10:55 GMT
Wasn't @gottaluvafriend the guy with an x-wing (or some spaceship) avatar? If so, he found the politics board too hard and went to the other site, where some others went too. He might have been a good guy but his factual vs personal attacks post ratio on the politics board didn't make him a popular guy. He was no @MrSinister but too many ad hominem and too little support for his stuff made him quit that board. I can't tell you why he preferred to leave the site entirely instead of sticking to other boards though. I don’t think so… I remember his avatar being a man (maybe himself?) sitting at a keyboard. |
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Post by Catman 猫的主人 on Oct 29, 2018 3:21:11 GMT
Wasn't @gottaluvafriend the guy with an x-wing (or some spaceship) avatar? If so, he found the politics board too hard and went to the other site, where some others went too. He might have been a good guy but his factual vs personal attacks post ratio on the politics board didn't make him a popular guy. He was no @MrSinister but too many ad hominem and too little support for his stuff made him quit that board. I can't tell you why he preferred to leave the site entirely instead of sticking to other boards though. I don’t think so… I remember his avatar being a man (maybe himself?) sitting at a keyboard. Is this the guy who kept getting all pissy on the Baker's Dozen board? |
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Post by Salzmank on Oct 29, 2018 3:23:15 GMT
Could be, Catman 猫的主人—I don’t play Baker’s Dozen. He would get pissy about other stuff, though, so it sounds right. |
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Post by mecano04 on Oct 29, 2018 3:33:41 GMT
I don’t think so… I remember his avatar being a man (maybe himself?) sitting at a keyboard. Is this the guy who kept getting all pissy on the Baker's Dozen board? I think so. |
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Oct 29, 2018 3:55:58 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? from my perspective there is a very VERY long leap from "I am not named in the say something nice thread" to "i am a non entity". so if i were you i wouldnt jump all the way to the extreme interpretation. like i said before, for me, it goes back to knowing absolutely nothing about you. Also your nick is very hard for me to remember. How do you pronounce it? or shorten in? so if I apply this experience onto what you are saying happens with your friends. Is there a possibility they also feel like they dont know you or understand you enough? If not (and only you can tell) then I agree that you need new friends. If you have one or two people in your life like that, thats normal I think. I have two people like that in my life, and we are friendly when we see each other and all, but if I dont ask them questions or initiate communication it very rarely happens with the one and practically never with the other one. So i think having some sort of such experience is part of everybodys life at one point or another. but if its everyone, then either they are not close enough to you, or they are not real (meaning good) friends to you as a whole and maybe finding some other people for friendship might benefit you. out of curiosity, how often do you reach out them? and if you were to estimate why they dont reach out to you, what would you say? i mean specifically, not just "they think i am a nonentity/loser. With me and the two friends its> one is somewhat self-centered and doesnt even realize its always me asking him questions and taking interest in his life. he was surprised and denied it when i confronted him. because he is otherwise a good person i trust he truly doesn realize it. also he is not attracted to me at all, so he sees me more like a guy friend so that contributes to it as well. the other friend just simply doesnt like me THAT much. she is friendly when we see each other or if i contact her, but thats as far as it goes. just not enough interest. combined with the fact that i rarely talk about myself with friends i am not super close with, so she may feel like i am somewhat reserved. or only talk to her when i need something from her. i was once told to my HUGEST surprise, that I come across as a reserved or even cold person in personal contact. this was a HUGE surprise to me since I see mysel as a very warm and positive person. But since multiple people shared this with me, i take this as a valid feedback. i think a lot of it can be attributed to the fact i dont hug and kiss people when i see them, and i dont discuss personal problems with people who are not one of my 3 best friends. one of my friends once wanted a hug from me for her Christmas present. like she said that we have known each other for about 10 years and were even roommates for a bit but i never hugged her. Yeah, I didnt know thats something of importance to her. I can be fairly autistic like that. I dread meeting people and having to decide if a handshake or hug is expected, if feel like i often chose wrong. But once she shared with me that she wanted a hug i hugged her. So... what I am trying to say, if there are some people in the group of your friends that you TRULY care about and trust them, ask them why it is the way it is, and say openly you would appreciate if they intitiated contact first sometimes. and then listen to their feedback. if they laugh at you, dont take it seriously or do not want to act on it ever, then yeah, move on from these "friends". Since you seem like external validation of your worth is something you crave (and i get it) here is a suggestion: tell me your first name or initial or pick a favorite animal or something that would somehow feel personal to you, and I will put a reference to it in my show that I am shooting currently if you want. that way there will be a reference to you in something someone created and i think that could make you help stop feeling like nonentity since in a way it will showcase your existence. what do you think? nxnwrocks appears to be playing victim and I would say that while he may going through a rough patch about something and I wish him all the best in working it out, being precious about it for whatever reason isn't going to help matters either.
He appears to be looking for connection with somebody, but when I see straight male posters with young attractive women celebrities in their avatars doing a modelling pose—I don't know who it was in his, and if she is even a celebrity, so I could be jumping the gun—and if she is someone he doesn't know personally, then it can also be about a base sexuality and I can find this a tad off-putting about a person. If one sees themselves as a loser, they perhaps may be their own worst enemies in this case and are only endorsing it due to lack of self-awareness or social skills within and seeking attention. Personalities and characters can be easy to pick out if one has their intuition honed. |
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Oct 29, 2018 4:02:54 GMT
Messenger or email, it's always me who has to start the conversation. Just once I'd like someone to say a quick "hi, how are you?" but nothing. I also wrote letters to two friends and didn't even get an acknowledgment. Am I really the nonentity that the Say Something Nice thread suggests I am? You seem like a great person and I like your Avatar.  Phony platitudes are just that, phony. |
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Post by Aj_June on Oct 29, 2018 4:11:44 GMT
I don’t think so… I remember his avatar being a man (maybe himself?) sitting at a keyboard. Is this the guy who kept getting all pissy on the Baker's Dozen board? Exactly right. He would break the rules of the game and if nobody replied to his posts (which were in incorrect order) he would sulk like a child and accuse people of being part of clique . He often used bad language for people who politely requested him to play within the rules. One day I asked him to play within the rules and he messaged me asking me to delete his profile. I refused to delete his profile as it would give him the sense of a martyr and he could then go on another board and complain about this board. Which he eventually did anyway. As for the OP of this thread- I hope he returns. I like his contribution to sports board and some of his comments are interesting. I do like to say him that I like his posts and definitely consider him more than "nobody". nxnwrocks - Remember there are some people who like you and would be happy to have you back here. |
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Post by llanwydd on Oct 29, 2018 5:50:01 GMT
I know that @nxnwrocks will be back, so I don’t mind a bit if he sees this, but I’d just like to record a few observations. I think (I can’t be sure) that he and I met in talking about old mysteries, which we both like. He was fine and pleasant and chipper, and we didn’t always agree on everything but got a good dialogue going. Then suddenly he completely changed. He became nasty, belligerent, vituperative, and mocking. The same transformation had happened with another since-deleted poster, @gottaluvafriend, who also liked classic mysteries. (Now I’m wondering if they’re the same person.) He would ask sarcastic rhetorical questions to just about everyone. Then he changed back. He wrote me a lot of PMs about authors, mystery and non-mystery, asking for my opinions. I responded to a few of them, though not all. Then the Worthington fiasco happened as Bat described it. Whole thread here. He didn’t get on with Bat. And then he started up with the sarcasm and sardonicism again, especially in posting on the Classics board. As london777 there accurately noted, he [London] had lost the title of most curmudgeonly poster to nxnwrocks—which, if you know London, was quite an accomplishment. But many of nxnw’s posts were not even curmudgeonly, they were just mean. He often went back and forth between the nice mood and the mean mood, depending on the day. He grew angrier and angrier at Bat and then at me when I would defend Bat. He found a “place where we hang out,” as Bat called it, and spammed it up with message after message, when he’d never posted there before. The goal was obviously to annoy Bat and me. Then, recently, he switched to woe-is-me threads, which are in their way even more annoying. He became convinced that few people liked him. I don’t know if he has genuine psychiatric problems that affected his postings here. That’s above my pay-grade. But it was the going back and forth that seemed very unusual, annoying, and troubling. TL;DR (is that the right initialism?): He told me “sorry” for being nasty several times. (The sorries got annoying and cloying; they reminded me of Hayden Christensen’s Stephen Glass.) He started right back up with being nasty after every sorry. I forgave him every time; I’d still forgive him. But he kept going back to his old ways, for no real reason, unfortunately. I skimmed that thread. Hardly seems like a fiasco at all. And certainly nothing for Bat to get all bent out of shape about. Can you provide examples of where he was mean and nasty? B.O. gets plenty bent out of shape over nothing. The most aggressive bullying ever done on these boards has been done by him with his sidekick, Salzmank "like"ing every one of his insults, usually against a fellow poster of ours named snsurone who has done absolutely nothing to deserve it. And that remark about gottaluvafriend being the same person as nxnwrocks is absolutely batshit crazy. For one thing, gottaluvafriend would never have spoken a kind word to B.O. and would never dealt with his harassment with anything but venomous insults (he hated me just as much, which nxnwrocks did not) and would never have backed down. For another thing, I followed gottaluvafriend after he self deleted and found him posting on two other film sites. He had radical political and religious views that were absolutely inconsistent with anything nxnwrocks ever said. B.O. and Sally are sick people. |
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