What does Marmite/Vegemite taste like?
just close your eyes and imagine this ... (yeah, get someone to read this to you)
You go out on the perfect date. To a really fancy but intimate french restaurant, where you order crispy duck breast with a light honey and blackberry glaze over it and virgin jasmine rice with a hint of vanilla and also sea salt crystals sprinkled on it. And he (or she, no judgment) orders the best beef steak they have, medium rare, with that perfect touch of crispness on the outside and pinkish juiciness on the inside. With black truffle sauce, of course, and wasabi potato puree, cause he is a powerful confident man, of course. And you share a strawberry arugula salat.
Prior the first bites, you both look at each other, smiling, then raise your glasses with Moet Chandon imperial in them.
"to your beauty and your... ehm... intellect" he says
"to your loyalty, wits and hopefully.. ehm.. financial security" you reply.
you both laugh. you, relieved you are wearing your best bra today, him, glad to have his platinum card in his jacket and having done all the proper grooming earlier that night. you both know its on. you cant wait. halfway through the meal you decide its time to go. you ask the waiters to pack the leftovers and hastily leave the restaurant.
before coming over to his place you each briefly consult your lawyers and enter into a binding contract stipulating whats about to happen was completely consensual and detail that should the quality of the BJ you provide be unsatisfactory, or should he last less than 5 minutes, neither side can take this to court.
You then try to rush over to the bedroom, but passion takes over and you start tearing each others clothes off in the building lobby already. You practically have a quickie on the elevator but manage not to fully do it till you get to the apartment. where u end up on the floor right away, and where you perform Gina Carano thigh choke hold on him but release just before he passes out. He loves it. He climaxed already just from you being you. In return he scratches your back for 25 full minutes while telling you about how him and his mom get along and what his credit score is. When you are about to climax, he takes you in his arms he penetrates you and wipes the floor with you. in passion of course. It takes 11.5 minutes and your oral skills are equal to those of the greek goddess Aphrodite. So all is good.
You end up in each others arms, breathing heavily, satisfied, then do it 3 more times. And gain, until you are gasping for air, water, food, energy... and are completely exhausted. you lost of a lot of sweat. you really crave savory and salty now.
It is at that point you realize its been 5 hours and you are both kinda hungry. You open the doggie bag and take out the leftover meat from the aluminum foil it was wrapped in to keep warm and good. You drop it on the floor because thats how week in the knees he made you you are still shaking. Food dropped. All of it. It now mixes with your bodily juices on the floor, so, eww no, you do not eat it.
You look at each other and laugh. But are still hungry. You look inside the aluminum foil. All there is left is the commingled juices of the finest parts of duck, cow, with hints of strawberry, truffle and memories of splendid wine. You pour it onto a small plate and then you both lick a few amazing, salty but so full in flavor, drops. Its pure love, lust, taste and heaven combined.
THATS WHAT MARMITE TASTE LIKE.
PS - full disclosure> this love poem to marmite was written under the influence of a spoon of marmite in my mouth.
PS- I am not on Marmites payroll.