I Hate Trolls and Sockpuppets

Dec 19, 2018 7:18:24 GMT PresidentofChad said:

Like, when people start a sockpuppet just to create a fictional persona and get cheap laughs and attention by posting outrageous things. Very detrimental to the quality of discussion here on our forum and just generally annoying! In CHAD, where I a President, I have people like this shot if I discover they are engaged on these activities on the internet.

I am 100% CHADIAN and proud. I do not need to create a fictional persona to get attention on this forum. I get it from my charisma and big dick energy emanating even over cyberspace.  

My camping story is about the time DH and I had a belated honeymoon with the Ugly Sister and her brand new DH. I should explain that DH and I set our wedding date and, when we announced it to the Ugly Sister, she replied that she and her DBF would be getting married on the same day! (Typical...!)

We played with the idea of a double wedding but ended up brawling over whether the men would wear cummerbunds or not (good grief!) So, our weddings were a fortnight apart: ours on the 25th March and theirs on 9th April. No-one wore a cummerbund...

*We* were married at sea (well, actually, tied up to a very upmarket mooring at Newcastle's Queen's Wharf) and *they* were married in a park (right next-door to a very dicey cricket pitch). Neither couple had much money for a honeymoon, although DH and I had a few days in Sydney and went to the zoo... So, Ugly suggested we should all borrow her new DBIL's tent and go camping proir to the Events! What a great idea!

We determined to camp at the Upper Allyn, which is a glorious pocket of temperate rainforest about two hours' drive north of Newcastle. For some odd reason, DS came with us... I don't think I could bear the thought of camping in a rainforest and leaving him behind... anyway, he came. It was January. Stinking hot! Flies. Mosquitoes. Leeches. Rain. We went!

The way into Upper Allyn has four river fords to cross. They're just flat concrete bridges that allow you to avoid axle damage, but they're usually covered in water. This was drought time, so the roadway was exposed and we were able to stop on the ford and have a Good Look at the Allyn River. Well, the Allyn Trickle, really! As we stood, looking into the sparkling water and hoping to see a tortoise or something, I noticed that a large black thing was stuck in one of the she-oak trees immediately to my left.

Looking more closely, I saw that it was a gigantic Diamond Python! Wow! 'Look!' I ejaculated, 'See the size of this snake!' Ugly hurried to have a look and when we turned to show our respective DBFs there was nothing there! Just a faint cloud of dust and a lingering hint of aftershave in the midday haze... They'd run off and jumped into the car! (Neither of our spice is 'good' about snakes - you call this condition 'herpetophobia' and it's completely incurable!)

I should add that a Diamond Python is one of the very few harmless snakes we have in Australia, but that this particular example was a prodigy: he must've been ten feet long and thicker than my arm! He was glossy black with a brilliant pattern of red, white and yellow diamonds along his back. Exquisite! And there he lay, coiled in the fork of a tree and just enjoyin' the afternoon sun on his scales! He raised his big, blunt head to look at us and then went back to sleep.

We drove on, farther into the rainforest with me hanging out the sunshine roof and gawking at all the wonderful trees (and naming each of them in Latin for the benefit of my philistine companions). This was why I was forced to stick my head out the roof: the others got entirely sick of me rattling off my litany of 'Eucalyptus saligna', 'Tristania conferta', 'Toona australis', 'Nothofagus moorei' and so on... so they banished me out the roof!

A while later, we came upon an *echidna*, waddling across the road! Echidnas are quite common in Oz, but they're very reticent and so you *very* rarely see one! Oh, an echidna is a spiny anteater, sort of like a hedgehog. The animal is about the size of a very large cat, but his spines make him appear much larger. The spines aren't so much sharp as impenetrable (they're made of compressed hairs and clack noisily as the animal moseys along), so there aren't many predators that can 'do' echidnas! Echidnas are also one of the two egg-laying mammals that live in Oceania: the other is the platypus. While platypus live in clear streams and nest in riverbanks, echidnas like thick forest and dig deep burrows where they lay their two eggs and nurture their tiny baked-bean-like young, which feed on milk from sweat-like glands inside the mother's pouch.

Anyway, I digress... I'm starting to sound like a teacher...