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Post by Jokers_Wilde on Dec 27, 2018 20:13:00 GMT
Between Grade 1 and Grade 4, I was ...constantly. Mind you, I didn't have a great sense of humour. When someone joked with me, I didn't see the joke.
Grade 5 to 8 was not too bad.
Grade 9 - whoa, boy! It was likely because I was one of the smaller kids, plus I was surrounded by those who were asserting their dominance.
It got bad with one bully that I had to tell someone. It started when I apparently ratted out the bully to the principal.
My mother called the school, and she expected the response to be, "Well....boys will be boys." When she mentioned the bully's name, the response was, "Oh. Let me handle this."
For something that happened in class that I will NEVER forget, he was eventually suspended for the trimester. He showed up for a few days in the second trimester, and he must have been suspended after that . I never saw him again.
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Post by Jayman on Dec 27, 2018 20:19:38 GMT
I wasn't really bullied much. Maybe a few isolated incidents, but there were a few incidents where I was the bully. It's just one of those things that are a part of most kids' childhood to some degree.
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Post by QueenB on Dec 27, 2018 23:20:08 GMT
Yes, I was one of the smallest girls in school. There was no way I was not going to be bullied. I had a boy spit on me once and one of the mean girls put gum in my hair. I have a few older brothers and they taught me how to fight. Once I stood my ground, they didn't really bother me much after that. You know QueenB, it is great you had your brothers looking out for you and showing you some life skills. At that same though, fighting back can also have detrimental effects and societies rules doesn't want others assaulting each other—unless it is in a sporting context and they can profit of it. Kids I suppose though, tend to get a special compensation.
If you smack back, the bully is going to think twice about picking on you, but it is a double standard that gets promoted.
Not sure if you were ever bullied as a child or not but often times it doesn't just stop by ignoring it, you have to defend yourself. Otherwise, it usually keeps escalating where more kids feel like they can also join in on the bullying. I think nowadays bullying is taken more seriously if the kid does report it rather than trying to fight back first. But when I was growing up in the 80s, it was just something you had to deal with on your own. At least that's how I was always made to feel, which is why my brothers taught me how to defend myself. Unfortunately, it had to come to that in my situation in order for the bullying to eventually stop. Slightly off topic, that life skill my brothers taught me, also helped save me from a guy trying to attack me while trying to get into my car once. I'm eternally grateful to them for that. |
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Dec 28, 2018 0:46:04 GMT
You know QueenB, it is great you had your brothers looking out for you and showing you some life skills. At that same though, fighting back can also have detrimental effects and societies rules doesn't want others assaulting each other—unless it is in a sporting context and they can profit of it. Kids I suppose though, tend to get a special compensation.
If you smack back, the bully is going to think twice about picking on you, but it is a double standard that gets promoted.
Not sure if you were ever bullied as a child or not but often times it doesn't just stop by ignoring it, you have to defend yourself. Otherwise, it usually keeps escalating where more kids feel like they can also join in on the bullying. I think nowadays bullying is taken more seriously if the kid does report it rather than trying to fight back first. But when I was growing up in the 80s, it was just something you had to deal with on your own. At least that's how I was always made to feel, which is why my brothers taught me how to defend myself. Unfortunately, it had to come to that in my situation in order for the bullying to eventually stop. Slightly off topic, that life skill my brothers taught me, also helped save me from a guy trying to attack me while trying to get into my car once. I'm eternally grateful to them for that. I guess one has to ask as well, how is bullying actually defined? Is it just born out of meanness and cruelty in wanting to assert ones authority over other, or is it being used to assist one in learning to be more resilient and less precious and is the bully actually in their own way trying to help you? Is the behavior just about keeping it real.
I would say I was bullied by assholes, and I didn't know how to fight back properly and couldn't fight back properly. I could either run or just have to take it. I was surrounded by bullies, even in my home life. As a kid though, the bully kids would have learned it from their parents.
Because bullying gets taught, it occasionally made me bully those that were easy targets as well as I started to get a bit older. Not often, but it was born out of my own frustration and I suppose some pathetic personal sense of power I could achieve over others and also venting my own anger issues. I pretty much always got pulled up on my behavior though. In a sense instant karma.
I agree with what you say about the attitudes to defending oneself from bullies last century. I was a 70's, early 80's child throughout school and we had some pretty abusive teachers as well. That was just born out of their generation and what they were taught as well. Bullying is perhaps something that gets dealt with and recognized in a different way today, but it still won't prevent it. It is born out of personality types who just 'naturally' want to get out on top of others. It has been like that since time began though and certain professions attract the dominant bully type.
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Dec 28, 2018 0:47:09 GMT
I wasn't really bullied much. Maybe a few isolated incidents, but there were a few incidents where I was the bully. It's just one of those things that are a part of most kids' childhood to some degree. I have just commented the same thing, that I could become the bully at times. I never got away with it though. |
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Post by Jayman on Dec 28, 2018 1:14:28 GMT
You know QueenB, it is great you had your brothers looking out for you and showing you some life skills. At that same though, fighting back can also have detrimental effects and societies rules doesn't want others assaulting each other—unless it is in a sporting context and they can profit of it. Kids I suppose though, tend to get a special compensation.
If you smack back, the bully is going to think twice about picking on you, but it is a double standard that gets promoted.
Not sure if you were ever bullied as a child or not but often times it doesn't just stop by ignoring it, you have to defend yourself. Otherwise, it usually keeps escalating where more kids feel like they can also join in on the bullying. I think nowadays bullying is taken more seriously if the kid does report it rather than trying to fight back first. But when I was growing up in the 80s, it was just something you had to deal with on your own. At least that's how I was always made to feel, which is why my brothers taught me how to defend myself. Unfortunately, it had to come to that in my situation in order for the bullying to eventually stop. Slightly off topic, that life skill my brothers taught me, also helped save me from a guy trying to attack me while trying to get into my car once. I'm eternally grateful to them for that. I think it is positive that there is a campaign to discourage bullying, but I also think this is just part of growing up. Unless it's an excessive kind of torturing kind of bullying where kids want to kill themselves because they can't face going to school. When I see some of those commercials on Nickelodeon where they consider not letting somebody sit at your table or not being invited to a party bullying, I think that's a little ridiculous. But in their portrayal of real bullying, their message always seems to be to run away and tell the teacher. I don't agree with that and that does not solve the problem. I couldn't imagine ever doing that. Plus, There is not always going to be a teacher around to run to. I have seen people in their 40's and 50's get bullied. There's no teacher for them to tell and nowhere to run. |
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Post by Jayman on Dec 28, 2018 1:15:12 GMT
I wasn't really bullied much. Maybe a few isolated incidents, but there were a few incidents where I was the bully. It's just one of those things that are a part of most kids' childhood to some degree. I have just commented the same thing, that I could become the bully at times. I never got away with it though. Unfortunately, life just happens and we all do stuff as kids both good and bad. |
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Post by llanwydd on Dec 28, 2018 1:55:08 GMT
I think I was a freshman or sophomore in high school when I went to the principal about an older and bigger kid that was beating me up all the time. First he suggested a "meeting of the minds". In other words I should try to reason with the older kid, which I had already done. Then he told me I should fight back. So much for that. It went on and on. Eventually the principal threatened to send the other kid to reform school which, if I remember right, was what solved the problem. I doubt if a kid would be told to fight back today. In fact there is one really stupid "solution" to violence in some schools where kids are told that if they are attacked they should drop to their knees, cover their heads and scream for help. I cannot possibly think of a more vulnerable position to be in than on one's knees. For adults there are other stupid solutions. For example, in some parts of America, the police have this clever saying "Just walk away", which is plain assinine.
I know from experience that that can escalate the situation. In Florida we have "Stand your ground" which is far more practical. Anyway, I am happy to know that at least there is more awareness and concern these days about violence in school.
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Post by Pep Streebeck on Dec 28, 2018 6:01:17 GMT
Not really but it was going down that path.
One dude maybe in 7th grade was walking by me with a bunch of his friends and I was walking alone. He took the opportunity to whale a huge punch into my shoulder. Now I wasn't a big kid at all, and I didn't know who he was - other than a kid who was bigger than me. Turns out he was quite an athletic kid - mainly football and hockey. Since I didn't know he was a tough kid, next time I saw him I returned the punch - which got a bit of attention since he was with a bunch of friends and I was alone when I did it. Some less ballsier kid tried to play it up like "Hey, why are you assaulting Darryl?"... thinking it would make me look like the kid in trouble. Darryl told that guy to shut up - and was respectful to me from that point forward.
Maybe just a year later in the same school, it was an odd situation where class was in session and the halls were clear. But for some reason I was on my way from the office for a generic reason. As I walked to class some kid about my size was running really fast because he was late. He thought to make some verbal taunt to me as he ran past. So I thought it would be apt to trip him. But, when extending my leg it hit his placed foot which turned into a foot sweep that collided that foot into the other. It sent him into a helicopter motion, which was just a 180' because there was an iron rail that his head hit - stopping him. Kid was motionless. I wasn't. I had a dilemma. He wasn't moving, because of me. I chalked it up to "Dude Fell" and went on my way. He eventually picked his self up and made it to class. And must have remembered the look I gave him when I left him there. He was cool to me since, but not like it meant anything - he was a wimp. Darryl was an asset.
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