Chelsea - Spurs (EFL Cup semi-final 2nd leg)

Some away fans have wandered into the Harwood Arms, about a mile or less from the ground. How they came to be here in the first place is anyone's guess, perhaps their coach driver copped a flat, slap bang in the middle of an otherwise entirely residential chunk of SW6. It's a deceptively laid back looking pub equidistant to the London Film Academy further along Walham Grove and Fulham Primary School the other way on Halford Road.

Yes, the place looks like any other boozer from the outside but inside is another story. There's an impressive top shelf behind the dark oak bar above which stuffed heads of animals loom out of the beige coloured walls. The most striking of these is a two foot monstrosity that to me looks like the head and neck of an African buffalo, protruding like he'd hit the other side of the wall at 90mph. There is also a set of antlers, piercing the air like bony nightmare fingers. Dark oak is everywhere, from the furniture to the mirror frames. Luxurious cedar coloured drapes are drawn back in voluptuous folds from ceiling to floor to reveal the large arch windows that look out on the leafy outside street. All in all, don't expect to find a one-armed bandit over in the corner or poker night every Tuesday.

Spurs fans want a plate of chips or a burger but are presented with menus with full dinners on them, including things like devilled crab tartlet with a salad of fresh herbs; roast fallow deer with celeriac, brassicas and crab apple jelly; venison faggots with Jerusalem artichoke and pickled crosnes (for crosnes, picture one of those squirming grubs that Z-list 'celebrities' are obliged to consume in some fake jungle on TV - repulsive looking things) roast onion soup with Welsh rarebit brioche etc. The aromas emanating from the kitchen will drive your taste buds to gastronomical orgasm, with head chef Sally Abé overseeing her dedicated team of experienced kitchen players. But. of course, it comes at a price.

It's £49.50 for three courses (plus 12.5% service charge, plus drinks) Some fans throw away the menus and ask if there are any decent bar snacks. They're offered the only bar snack available, the Harwood Arms venison Scotch egg at £5.50.

"Sod this," laughs one fan as he barrels towards the exit, followed by a dozen more of his ilk. "No wonder there ain't no f***ing Chelsea in here."
"Yeah," pipes up his girlfriend. "F*** all veggie stuff either. F***ing onion soup," she scoffs. "Where are we? Where's the pissing ground?"

My Easi-Trav portable barometer informs me it's just 3c with a 16% precipitation likelihood. I can feel a slight south-easterly wind in the air and my barometer confirms its speed at 4mph. So, apart from the very cold temperatures, conditions are ripe for what should be an entertaining game of football. The departure of Morata and arrival of Gonzalo Higuaín has bolstered many a CFC follower and the even better immediate news for them is that Spurs are missing Alli, Son and Kane.

But it's Spurs that have the advantage with that one-nothing win at Wembley in the first leg and you hope that they won't attempt to park the proverbial bus this evening. There could be a spot of bother, though, if things get too hot. This fixture has history. Who can forget the explosive game on May 2nd 2016 where ref Clattenburg dished out 12 yellow cards. Kicking, scything down, face-scratching, elbowing, the lot. And that was just the ref. The players were far worse. It ended 2-2 which meant Leicester would go on to win the title and any chance Spurs had to close in on them was dashed in this dirty, fiery encounter.

Let's see what happens tonight as fans begin to converge around the stadium.

CFC 3/5
Spurs 5/1
Draw 3/1

To qualify
CFC 1/1
Spurs 3/4

CFC: Arrizabalaga; Azpilicueta, David Luiz, Rüdiger, Emerson; Kanté, Jorginho, Barkley; Pedro, Giroud, Hazard
Subs: Cabellero, Ampadu, Alonso, Kovacic, Hudson-Odoi, Willian, Piazon

Spurs: Gazzaniga; Aurier, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies; Dier, Winks, Sissoko, Eriksen, Lamela; Llorente
Subs: Lloris, Rose, Sanchez, Walker-Peters, Skipp, Nkoudou, Moura

Luiz has gotta watch it. Arm round a white shirt in the box there. Brings his man down. Even I could see that. Luckily Atkinson didn't.

Kante nutmegs one Spurs defender and then the keeper with his 22 yard heat-seeking drive on '27. It went through two sets of Spurs legs there. The ball fell to him from the corner and left unmarked he unleashed a low strike which sees the tie now level on agg.

Let's see what Paul Doyle has been saying...


Yes, that's Spurs in a nutshell, Paul. There's a critical disconnect between the players. Eriksen doesn't seem to know where to put himself and he's not the only one.

Well, two minutes ago Sarri had an ulit cigarette protruding from his lips. Was he nervous about Spurs' tactical change? He should be. It's been all Spurs and Llorente outwits Luz and has more space than NASA to drive it home. 2-1 on '50.

2-1 so Spurs right now are through right?

Yikes - here's a chance for Spurs on '64. Lamela whips in a perfect cross which lands at the feet of Llorente. He's ten yards out. There's no one on him. Kepa looks helpless. But Llorente can't control it and fluffs his lines in spectacular fashion. On the touchline MoPo sinks to his knees in frustration.

17 minutes to penalties... 

GIROUD in injury time. It comes in, he's bang on for it. He's six yards out. Hit it, hit it. His boot strikes thin air as the ball glides mockingly past him. Tart.

Giroud again!!! Ball comes in. It's a perfect ball. All he has to do is direct the header past the keeper... but, no, he heads it down and away WTF. WTF Giroud.

It's a penalty situation now.