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Post by marshamae on Apr 3, 2017 14:11:21 GMT
On the Best Years of Our lives thread we got to talking about theater ushers and I mentioned this story about a young cash strapped Al Pacino.
My favorite usher story is Al Pacino, who was given a job in one of the big Manhattan movie palaces back when they wore uniforms and , yes a little hat. Pacino was kind of a skid row usher , shirt tail out , shoes run over , hat crooked, lurching to a seat and growling " here ya go" . I laugh every time I think of it.
So it made me think of a little game
Take your favorite star and place them in a job for which they would be completely unsuitable . Have fun with the details , imagine where and how they would go wrong.
We have had all the fun to be had from naming Hattie McDaniel and Una O'Connor as bathing beauties , runway models etc. Please eschew such choices.
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spiderwort
Junior Member
@spiderwort
Posts: 2,073
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Post by spiderwort on Apr 3, 2017 15:38:14 GMT
Great fun topic. The only problem for me is that my favorite star is Meryl Streep, and I don't know how to find something she can't do. So instead I'll choose: Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood is the butler in the house of Congressman, Adam Kilroy. Kilroy is having a dinner at his home this evening with fellow Congress members. Three days before, Eastwood fractured his big toe after running into the corner wall in the library. Fortunately the family was out, so they didn't hear his scream. The maid did, however, and called the chauffeur to take Eastwood to the hospital. After his return, he did the best he could to keep his injury a secret out of fear of losing his job. He limped only when alone, occasionally sitting down in private to rest his weary foot.
Now it's the night of the dinner, and the doorbell rings as the first guest arrives. Heading for the door, Eastwood stubs his toe again in the hallway. He stops, rocking back and forth in pain, holding back the scream dying to come out. The doorbell rings again, and Kilroy calls out his name. Eastwood pulls himself together and goes to the door, trying not to limp. One after another, he admits the guests and shows them to the living room.
The final person to arrive is Mary Mayfield, the speaker of the House. As he guides her into the living room, he stumbles in pain and falls against her. She falls backwards into the arms of Senator Kilroy, seated behind her. Eastwood tries to catch himself, but he falls on top of Mayfield and Kilroy. Mayfield screams and Eastwood rolls off of her onto the floor.
Kilroy stares down at him, infuriated. Eastwood quickly gathers himself, rises and races out of the room, limping all the way. As he enters the kitchen, he runs into refrigerator, stubbing his toe again. This time everyone in the house hears his scream.
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Post by marshamae on Apr 3, 2017 16:58:45 GMT
Thats not a game thats a whole film! Fabulous!
Okay Meryl Streep.... HMMM
She can dance and sing, do any accent known to man, has done everything from Prime ministers to bag ladies, so there's only one thing left
Be a Dentist! YEs , a gender crossed remake of Little Shop of HorrorsMrs Mushnick runs the shop where Andy works a gorgeous your man who is dominated by his lover, Dr Orinna Scrivello, a leather wearing stiletto heeled Mistress of pain. Andy is saved by Semolina Krelbourne and nerdy but gutsy orphan assisted by a front stoop do-wop group destined to become the Four Tops. ... Nah Streep would kill this part, absolutely nail it. You had to start with an impossible challenge.
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Post by mattgarth on Apr 3, 2017 17:21:27 GMT
Thats not a game thats a whole film! Fabulous! Okay Meryl Streep.... HMMM She can dance and sing, do any accent known to man, has done everything from Prime ministers to bag ladies, so there's only one thing left Be a Dentist! YEs , a gender crossed remake of Little Shop of HorrorsMrs Mushnick runs the shop where Andy works a gorgeous your man who is dominated by his lover, Dr Orinna Scrivello, a leather wearing stiletto heeled Mistress of pain. Andy is saved by Semolina Krelbourne and nerdy but gutsy orphan assisted by a front stoop do-wop group destined to become the Four Tops. ... Nah Streep would kill this part, absolutely nail it. You had to start with an impossible challenge. When Meryl (as the previous winner) presented the Lead Actor Oscar for Daniel Day-Lewis playing Lincoln, in his acceptance speech he kidded that Streep was director Spielberg's first choice to play Prez #16 but she was busy portraying Margaret Thatcher. He added that she could probably have pulled it off. |
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Post by BATouttaheck on Apr 3, 2017 17:23:37 GMT
I thought about casting Karloff as a nanny but kids actually loved him, even poor doomed "little Maria" took to him in the Monster Makeup so back the drawing board.
Cool idea for a thread !
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Post by fangirl1975 on Apr 3, 2017 19:13:47 GMT
Sigourney Weaver as a high school principal.
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Post by mikef6 on Apr 3, 2017 19:31:49 GMT
John Wayne as Secretary of the Bureau of Indian Affairs
Groucho Marx as a diplomat (or Don Rickles)
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Post by BATouttaheck on Apr 4, 2017 1:17:30 GMT
The Three Stooges have opened a center for therapy and counseling.
The Stooges, of course, lead the department of anger management. Peaceful negotiation is the most popular subject in this course. Mel Gibson often attends as a guest speaker.
They have had to place an ad looking for new leaders for the alcohol abstinence counseling. Jack Barrymore, Errol Flynn and WC Fields went out one evening and have never come back.
Peter O'Toole and Richard Burton have been approached but have not replied.
Elizabeth Taylor will be joining the staff. The Stooges feel that she will be wonderful telling clients the secrets of picking a long term spouse.
Mae West is a popular teacher in the course "how to be subtle but still get your man".
The Stooges are very proud of their new building and are confident that it has been very well constructed. They hired the renowned contracters "Laurel, Hardy and Keaton, Inc. " to design and build it.
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Post by joekiddlouischama on Apr 4, 2017 1:28:38 GMT
John Wayne as Secretary of the Bureau of Indian AffairsGroucho Marx as a diplomat (or Don Rickles) ... maybe. But have you seen Wayne in Fort Apache (John Ford, 1948)? |
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Post by marshamae on Apr 4, 2017 3:12:53 GMT
Jean Harlow as an assistant Missionary to Walter Huston. When she has been still all she can listening to him rail against the sins if Sadie Thompson, she blows her top , let's fly with a few well chosen scriptures and home truths. She and Sadie take off with the boat and set up business on a near by island.
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Post by BATouttaheck on Apr 4, 2017 3:25:30 GMT
Ahnuld Schwartzengovernater plays a really tough cop who is chasing a really bad bad career criminal. The villain is looking to find his ex- wife and his son with plans to kidnap the kid. Ahnuld goes to the boys school and through complications has to become the teacher to a bunch of kindergardeners.
What ?
It's been done, you say ?
Preposterous.
But, ok. Never mind then.
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Post by koskiewicz on Apr 4, 2017 16:38:35 GMT
Harpo Marx as a speech therapist
Slim Pickens as a college professor
Moe Howard as a brain surgeon
WC Fields as a temperance advocate
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Post by marianne48 on Apr 5, 2017 1:03:15 GMT
In Angels with Dirty Faces, two juvenile delinquent boys run from the police; because one of them can't run as fast as his friend, each of their lives takes a completely different path. The boy who eludes the police grows up to be a Catholic priest (played by Pat O'Brien); the boy who gets apprehended
ends up in reform school, which helps turn him into a hardened criminal (James Cagney).
But what if circumstances were different, and lil' Rocky Sullivan had been the one to run faster? Maybe those neighborhood kids would never have become teenage punks if, instead of Pat O'Brien's kindly, gentle guidance, they'd grown up having to face the wrath of Cagney as a tough-talkin' priest. Having
Cagney hearing their confessions would be scary enough to keep them on the straight and narrow:
Father Cagney: Okay, kid....now for your penance, say five Our Fathers, five Hail Marys, t'row in a couple of dem Glory Be's, and you're in the clear, see?
Billy Halop: Okay, Fadduh.
Father Cagney: And listen...I ever hear about you and dem impure t'oughts again, I'm gonna slap ya into next week, ya get me?
Billy Halop: Yeah, yeah, sure, Fadduh.
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Post by marshamae on Apr 5, 2017 1:22:22 GMT
In Angels with Dirty Faces, two juvenile delinquent boys run from the police; because one of them can't run as fast as his friend, each of their lives takes a completely different path. The boy who eludes the police grows up to be a Catholic priest (played by Pat O'Brien); the boy who gets apprehended ends up in reform school, which helps turn him into a hardened criminal (James Cagney). But what if circumstances were different, and lil' Rocky Sullivan had been the one to run faster? Maybe those neighborhood kids would never have become teenage punks if, instead of Pat O'Brien's kindly, gentle guidance, they'd grown up having to face the wrath of Cagney as a tough-talkin' priest. Having Cagney hearing their confessions would be scary enough to keep them on the straight and narrow: Father Cagney: Okay, kid....now for your penance, say five Our Fathers, five Hail Marys, t'row in a couple of dem Glory Be's, and you're in the clear, see? Billy Halop: Okay, Fadduh. Father Cagney: And listen...I ever hear about you and dem impure t'oughts again, I'm gonna slap ya into next week, ya get me? Billy Halop: Yeah, yeah, sure, Fadduh. You probably know that this closely mirrors the Dead End Kids off screen relations with Cagney. They loved to throw the other actors by ad- libbing. They had worked with Bogart on Dead end, but they were older, seasoned and wild around the set . They cornered Bogart and stole his pants. The first time Leo Gorcy ad libbed with Cagney, Cagney with his street sense threw a straight arm punch to the tender area right under the nose. He never had another problem with the Dead end Kids. |
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romad
Sophomore
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Post by romad on Apr 5, 2017 2:38:45 GMT
you probably know that this closely mirrors the Dead End Kids off screen relations with Cagney. They lived to throw I'd tge other actors by ad- lobbing. They had worked with Bogart on Dead end, but they were older, seasoned and wild around tge set . They cornered Bogart and stole his pants. The first time Leo Gorcy ad lobbed with Cagney, Cagney with his street sense threw a straight arm punch to the tender area right under the nose. He never had another problem with the Dead end Kids. They stole Bogarts pants?? That is funny. |
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Post by BATouttaheck on Apr 6, 2017 2:15:34 GMT
WC Fields as a temperance advocate He was working at the Stooges Therapy Center and never came back from a night out with the boys. see note from april 3 for details. |
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Post by taranofprydain on Apr 6, 2017 21:21:33 GMT
I imagine that Greta Garbo could not have done Bette Davis's role in The Catered Affair justice.
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Post by Lebowskidoo 🦞 on Apr 21, 2017 15:13:38 GMT
Ronald Reagan as the president.  *gets back in time machine and returns to 1958*  |
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BooRadley
New Member
@booradley
Posts: 24
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Post by BooRadley on Apr 22, 2017 3:09:14 GMT
OK, here's my dirty dozen,
1. Bette Davis as Joan Crawford's personal assistant.
2. Joan Crawford as Bette Davis' personal assistant.
3. Don Rickles as a Catholic Priest.
4. W.C. Fields as a Kindergarten teacher.
5. Rondo Hatton as a gynecologist.
6. Little Richard as a cowboy.
7. Marilyn Monroe as an Olympic boxer.
8. John Wayne as a ballet dancer.
9. Butterfly McQueen doing movie trailer voice-overs.
10. Joan Crawford managing a wire hanger factory.
11. Don Knotts as president of the U.S.A.
12. Marty Feldman as an Optometrist.
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Post by petrolino on Nov 24, 2018 18:14:06 GMT
Bela Lugosi could be a driving instructor at a driving school. He'd find it difficult to fit inside some of the smaller cars and would struggle to maintain a degree of patience if drivers were testy or inept. If they got out of line, he'd "take care" of them the old-fashioned way. He'd occasionally stop at roadside diners for a fix or have his clients drive him to his dealer's house.
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