A Countess from Hong Kong (1967)

pimpin's friend - hey pimpin, what film did you watch today?

pimpin - one with sophia loren.

pimpin's friend - ohoooo! has little pimpin been naughty?

pimpin: it had brando too.

pimpin's friend: what the hell? i didnt know they ever appeared together.

pimpin: it was directed by chaplin.

pimpin's friend: chaplin?

pimpin: yes. charlie chaplin.

pimpin's friend: HOLY SHIT! brando and loren directed by chaplin?

pimpin: yes. and its set on a ship.

pimpin's friend: what the hell? whats it called?

pimpin: A COUNTESS FROM HONG KONG!

pimpin's friend: i havent even heard of it.

pimpin: well, thats because it sucks.

pimpin's friend: come on pimpin. brando, loren and chaplin in the same film. there must be something to it.

pimpin: no boss. it even has tippi herden. its just this really unfunny comedy. loren is a prostitute in hong kong and she has a night out with brando who is a diplomat. loren hides in brando's room in a ship to escape the hell that is hong kong and reach america. the rest of the film is about the two of them maneuvering to keep authorities and brando's wife at bay so that they can get to america.

pimpin's friend: sounds like a great story, pimpin.

pimpin: yes, its a great story. but all the actors go through the motions like they are at a really boring party they all want to leave very eagerly. brando looks pissed off and broods most of the time, his demanor is at odds with the comedic tone of the film. maybe he was pissed off with all the crappy movies he was acting in, in the sixties. i have never seen LOREN look this unsexy.

pimpin's friend: damn! what a waste of talent. so there is nothing redeeming about the whole film?

pimpin: well, there are some nice shots of the monstrous sea. the corridor outside brando's room looks nice. brando and chaplin (who plays a waiter) appears in the same frame. and like you said, the story was pretty good.

pimpin's friend: that bad?

pimpin: yes. to make it all worse, there is this irritating bell that keeps ringing when people keep barging into brando's room and he has to hide loren immediately. that bell was like shrill uninispired wailing by women trying to liven things up at a funeral. i felt like they thought it all up on the set.

pimpin's friend: so best avoided?

pimpin: well, i'm trying to become a brando completist. thats why i watched it.

pimpin's friend: damn!

(4/10)