I was only about eight years old when this song was in the top 40, so I always thought it was funny when, at the beginning of Tom Jones' song "She's a Lady," he sings "She's a wiener!" (She's a winner).
I wouldn’t really call this a funny lyric, but in “One of These Nights” by The Eagles when he says “I can feel her but she’s nowhere in sight” I used to think it was “I can see her but she’s nowhere in sight”, which I actually like better as a lyric.
These are ones I actually thought were the real lyrics initially.
“It’s good to warm my balls beside the fire” - Home (Pink Floyd) "I'll stay with you till my seeds are dried up" - Sunshine of Your Love (Cream) “Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger” – Turning Japanese (The Vapors) “You’re an all gas-o-matic” – Orgasm Addict (Buzzcocks) "Baby you can't hide your lion eyes" – Lyin’ Eyes (Eagles) "Streets are run, even when you're down" – People are Strange (The Doors)
Others I just twisted.
“Count the head lice on the highway” – Elton John “I ain't a Martian anymore” - Phil Ochs "Oh, a storm is threat'ning, library life today" - Rolling Stones "Tears in my sperm, while I'm waiting for my turn" - Bob Marley “Pissing the night away” - Chumawumba “You better get your bags and flea” - Simon & Garfunkel
. Actually, I'm pretty sure "Pissing the night away" is the real lyric.