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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 3:01:41 GMT
following up on another thread asking if people are witty. why dont we try coming up with jokes we create? I once got tasked to produce 20 jokes about Hillary Clinton (her birthday was coming up so they wanted to have a lot of jokes about her and ideally her aging). Needless to say, After joke like number 5 I really struggled. Why dont we try one poster saying a topic and another poster creating a joke about it and then adding their topic? Ill kick it off. Write a joke including an octopus. Ps- what constitutes a joke is up to each poster. ideally it should make someone laugh out loud or at least chuckle, but how your reach it is up to u. Yes lenlenlen1 you can use images ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by them1ghtyhumph on Apr 22, 2019 3:07:48 GMT
I've written jokes accidentally
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Post by poelzig on Apr 22, 2019 3:17:15 GMT
following up on another thread asking if people are witty. why dont we try coming up with jokes we create? I once got tasked to produce 20 jokes about Hillary Clinton (her birthday was coming up so they wanted to have a lot of jokes about her and ideally her aging). Needless to say, After joke like number 5 I really struggled. Why dont we try one poster saying a topic and another poster creating a joke about it and then adding their topic? Ill kick it off. Write a joke including an octopus. Ps- what constitutes a joke is up to each poster. ideally it should make someone laugh out loud or at least chuckle, but how your reach it is up to u. Yes lenlenlen1 you can use images ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) You walk into an aquarium and rush over to a cartoon octopus. You lift your skirt bend over and say "I really need it". The octopus looks shocked and says " Lady squiddly diddly's tank is in the next building."
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Post by Catman on Apr 22, 2019 3:28:07 GMT
A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "Hey! No Shells, No Service!"
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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 3:29:48 GMT
following up on another thread asking if people are witty. why dont we try coming up with jokes we create? I once got tasked to produce 20 jokes about Hillary Clinton (her birthday was coming up so they wanted to have a lot of jokes about her and ideally her aging). Needless to say, After joke like number 5 I really struggled. Why dont we try one poster saying a topic and another poster creating a joke about it and then adding their topic? Ill kick it off. Write a joke including an octopus. Ps- what constitutes a joke is up to each poster. ideally it should make someone laugh out loud or at least chuckle, but how your reach it is up to u. Yes lenlenlen1 you can use images ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) You walk into an aquarium and rush over to a cartoon octopus. You lift your skirt bend over and say "I really need it". The octopus looks shocked and says " Lady squiddly diddly's tank is in the next building." not familiar with squiddly diddly but upon googling it it does seem like your joke could be funny. did you write it? great; now add a topic for the next poster to follow up...
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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 3:30:36 GMT
A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "Hey! No Shells, No Service!" did you write that? thats pretty funny. add a topic for the next poster though...
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 22, 2019 3:36:30 GMT
A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "Hey! No Shells, No Service!" A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. The octopus sees an empty seat next to a nautiloid and says, "Excuse me, is this seat Kraken?"
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Post by poelzig on Apr 22, 2019 3:38:01 GMT
You walk into an aquarium and rush over to a cartoon octopus. You lift your skirt bend over and say "I really need it". The octopus looks shocked and says " Lady squiddly diddly's tank is in the next building." not familiar with squiddly diddly but upon googling it it does seem like your joke could be funny. did you write it? great; now add a topic for the next poster to follow up... Yeah I just created it minutes ago. Next topic is devout Muslims.
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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 3:45:28 GMT
A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "Hey! No Shells, No Service!" A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. The octopus sees an empty seat next to a nautiloid and says, "Excuse me, is this seat Kraken?" love it.
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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 4:01:05 GMT
two devout muslims discuss their journey to work in the morning on the new york subway.
- “i hate my morning commute. for me it means standing for 45 minutes with strangers squeezed up to you and brushing against you the whole time”-
-“my commute is great.”-
-“how come” -
-“i get on the crowded train, like you. i look around, and loudly thank god, to show my gratitude for the life he has given me. and i get the whole wagon to myself after that”
next topic: menstruation.
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Post by poelzig on Apr 22, 2019 8:36:15 GMT
two devout muslims discuss their journey to work in the morning on the new york subway. - “i hate my morning commute. for me it means standing for 45 minutes with strangers squeezed up to you and brushing against you the whole time”- -“my commute is great.”- -“how come” - -“i get on the crowded train, like you. i look around, and loudly thank god, to show my gratitude for the life he has given me. and i get the whole wagon to myself after that” next topic: menstruation. So the muslim kills all the other commuters, right? Not bad. A guy comes home from work nervous because his wife is having a really bad menstruation. To his surprise the wife has grilled burgers and bratwurst and even made home fries. Everything is seasoned perfectly to his liking and he sits down apprehensively but begins eating after she gives him that look. "Honey thank you so much for cooking when you are not feeling well. It's all perfect. You even went to the grocery store." She frowns and says "I didn't leave the house today." Hubby says "But darling we were out of condiments." Wife smirks and replies "That's not ketchup asshole." Next topic coleslaw
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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 12:32:26 GMT
caesar salad is attending a symposium. suddenly, there is a locomotion and 23 other salads start throwing leaves at caesar. caesar drops his crutons exlaiming: kai su, coleslaw?
next topic: Sunglasses
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 22, 2019 12:34:51 GMT
A cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower walk into a bar. After a while the broccoli and cauliflower notice that the cabbage is nursing his drink and ask him about it. The cabbage says, "If I drink too fast it'll go right to my head and I'll end up as coleslaw."
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 22, 2019 12:47:36 GMT
A pair of sunglasses, a monocle and a magnifying glass walk into a bar. As the drinks flow they all start to get boisterous. Suddenly the magnifying glass takes great offense at something the sunglasses said. The sunglasses reply, "Why do you have to enlarge every apparent slight? Seriously, I wasn't trying to throw shade at you."
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Post by Nora on Apr 22, 2019 13:00:27 GMT
A pair of sunglasses, a monocle and a magnifying glass walk into a bar. As the drinks flow they all start to get boisterous. Suddenly the magnifying glass takes great offense at something the sunglasses said. The sunglasses reply, "Why do you have to enlarge every apparent slight? Seriously, I wasn't trying to throw shade at you." and whats the next topic? ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 22, 2019 22:06:52 GMT
and whats the next topic? ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) Next topic: Wristwatch
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Post by llanwydd on Apr 22, 2019 22:19:55 GMT
Did you hear about the one-inch sentry who got caught sleeping on his watch?
next topic: the pope's karma
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Post by Nora on Apr 23, 2019 2:07:46 GMT
A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. And the bartender says, "Hey! No Shells, No Service!" A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. The octopus sees an empty seat next to a nautiloid and says, "Excuse me, is this seat Kraken?" i remembered this joke about 5 times today during the day and chuckled each time. it really works for me so thank you for brightening my day ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) no legts get this Popes Karma going...
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Post by permutojoe on Apr 23, 2019 2:09:26 GMT
The Pope dies of natural causes and to his dismay he's told by St. Peter he will have 2 months to go back to earth and set right certain things he did wrong. "But I'm the Pope. I should be a shoe-in for heaven right away!" he protests angrily. "Sorry old chap", St. Peter offers back, "but your karma isn't bulletproof after all".
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Post by alpha128 on Apr 23, 2019 2:10:14 GMT
A squid, a cuttlefish, and an octopus walk into a bar. The octopus sees an empty seat next to a nautiloid and says, "Excuse me, is this seat Kraken?" i remembered this joke about 5 times today during the day and chuckled each time. it really works for me so thank you for brightening my day ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) You are welcome!
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