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Post by Marv on Jul 31, 2019 0:31:12 GMT
If it is I have not yet mastered it. [sad]
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Post by mstreepsucks on Jul 31, 2019 0:34:19 GMT
no, just tell them to F off.
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Post by Marv on Jul 31, 2019 0:35:32 GMT
no, just tell them to F off. I fee like that’s how it went even tho I never said it. |
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Post by politicidal on Jul 31, 2019 0:53:52 GMT
No.
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Post by Nora on Jul 31, 2019 1:25:38 GMT
If it is I have not yet mastered it. [sad] yes. I was let down once and it was very gentle and we are friends to this day. He said “I feel like if we get together we may have something interesting for a year or two but if we stay friends I really believe we can stay friends forever and maybe one day I can cheer for you at your wedding and vice versa and I would really like that”. Nobody likes to hear “let’s be friends rather than partners” but I feall like this was as considerate as possible and seeing what types of girls he goes for I understand it wouldn’t probably work out between us and to this day (and it has been many years since then) we remain close friends. It’s kinda like Phoebe said in friends “boyfriends and girlfriends come and go but this (friendship) is for life”  But obviously it depends on the context, maturity of both parties and also their self awareness and genuine interest in the well being of each other. |
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Post by rogerthat on Jul 31, 2019 2:44:41 GMT
Yes an No.
The Yes part is there are a variety of ways to do it if you are willing to invest the patience, emotion, and humility to talk to someone you are rejecting in an open honest yet caring manner.
The No part comes in because everything I just wrote above means squat to most people who are being rejected.
I guess the question is not if you can let someone down gently so much as does anyone ever accept being rejected without feeling it is a personal attack
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Post by Nora on Jul 31, 2019 14:09:00 GMT
Yes an No. The Yes part is there are a variety of ways to do it if you are willing to invest the patience, emotion, and humility to talk to someone you are rejecting in an open honest yet caring manner. The No part comes in because everything I just wrote above means squat to most people who are being rejected. I guess the question is not if you can let someone down gently so much as does anyone ever accept being rejected without feeling it is a personal attack yes. it hurts, sure, but regarding lust and love its not like the person is freely chosing who to like or not is it. its kinda coded into them and if it so happens their code doesnt tell them to fall in love with me how is it their fault and how can it be their attack on me? but yes it still sucks of course. and i struggle myself when i need to reject someone. |
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Post by rachelcarson1953 on Jul 31, 2019 15:57:01 GMT
I have tried the gentle ways first, but the bottom line is usually "Get out and stay out."
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Aug 1, 2019 17:30:12 GMT
I really don't think so. I've been on both ends and they both suck. If things were going well they wouldn't end.
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Post by Schwarzwald Magnus on Aug 1, 2019 20:47:00 GMT
Try a bottomless pit.
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Deleted Member
@Deleted
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2019 21:03:26 GMT
No. In my younger years, I preferred to be rejected harshly. It tempered the sting and helped me to let go of false hope so that I could move on faster.
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Post by Stammerhead on Aug 2, 2019 0:12:54 GMT
First you say “It’s not your fault, it’s my fault” and then one week later you say “I’ve been thinking about this and actually it’s all your fault”
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Post by ck100 on Aug 2, 2019 11:09:23 GMT
You would need to have something happen that is at least equally impactful in a positive way to balance out having to let someone down.
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