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Post by rogerthat on Aug 14, 2019 0:25:34 GMT
You ever receive a back handed compliment which for those unfamiliar with the term means to both compliment you and to shade you in same sentence thus implyiing it is not really a compliment.
An example is what happened tonight where the the faucet was leaking under the sink and pooling water. I immeaditely took charge; wiped up water; wiped down everything under sink; deteremined where problem was with faucet (needs to be replaced) and put damp rid container under sink to absorb any wetness and prevent mold. My husband responded to all my work "Thanks for taking care of that as usually I have to handle everything".
Thus the back handed compliment. Have you had any?
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Post by maxwellperfect on Aug 14, 2019 2:44:09 GMT
At a gig, I sincerely complimented one of the other bands, which I had seen playing around town previously. The singer replied, "you have nice looking equipment!"
Ouch.
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Post by ck100 on Aug 14, 2019 3:12:06 GMT
I think you mean if someone says something insulting under breath after saying something complimentary.
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Post by dirtypillows on Aug 14, 2019 3:26:59 GMT
Carolyn Appleby to Lucy Ricardo: "Oh, that's a lovely dress you have on!"
Lucy: "Oh, do you like it?"
Carolyn: "You know I always have!"
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Post by Catman 猫的主人 on Aug 14, 2019 3:32:38 GMT
Catman recalls a film of a woman trying to say something nice about a new sculpture by Picasso, and after fumbling around a bit, she finally said, "Well, the materials alone must have cost a good $200. That's something, isn't it?"
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Post by dirtypillows on Aug 14, 2019 3:52:30 GMT
Catman recalls a film of a woman trying to say something nice about a new sculpture by Picasso, and after fumbling around a bit, she finally said, "Well, the materials alone must have cost a good $200. That's something, isn't it?" That kind of sounds more like ignorance.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2019 5:35:03 GMT
My grandmother was the queen of the backhanded compliment.
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Aug 14, 2019 10:51:53 GMT
Catman recalls a film of a woman trying to say something nice about a new sculpture by Picasso, and after fumbling around a bit, she finally said, "Well, the materials alone must have cost a good $200. That's something, isn't it?" That kind of sounds more like ignorance. I can of look at that as a more open\honest approach to what she didn't really like, but used dry and sarcastic wit to express her dislike. Art, after all is subjective and beauty is in the eye or the beholder.
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Post by dirtypillows on Aug 14, 2019 19:19:07 GMT
That kind of sounds more like ignorance. I can of look at that as a more open\honest approach to what she didn't really like, but used dry and sarcastic wit to express her dislike. Art, after all is subjective and beauty is in the eye or the beholder.
I guess it could have depended on her tone of voice. Yeah, I was reading the Johnny Carson bio and I guess his mom was not very loving or encouraging towards him and when Johnny won some major lifetime achievement award, he called his mom to tell her and she said "I guess they know what they're doing." Not nice. Boo on Mama Carson.
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Aug 14, 2019 23:24:11 GMT
I can of look at that as a more open\honest approach to what she didn't really like, but used dry and sarcastic wit to express her dislike. Art, after all is subjective and beauty is in the eye or the beholder.
I guess it could have depended on her tone of voice. Yeah, I was reading the Johnny Carson bio and I guess his mom was not very loving or encouraging towards him and when Johnny won some major lifetime achievement award, he called his mom to tell her and she said "I guess they know what they're doing." Not nice. Boo on Mama Carson. That ladies quote from that movie, would be more of a passive criticism and Picasso isn't understandably everyone's cup of tea. I wonder if Carson's mom was just using her own biting sense of humor and while I don't know much about him, was his own sense of humor sarcastic?
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Post by dirtypillows on Aug 14, 2019 23:42:51 GMT
I guess it could have depended on her tone of voice. Yeah, I was reading the Johnny Carson bio and I guess his mom was not very loving or encouraging towards him and when Johnny won some major lifetime achievement award, he called his mom to tell her and she said "I guess they know what they're doing." Not nice. Boo on Mama Carson. That ladies quote from that movie, would be more of a passive criticism and Picasso isn't understandably everyone's cup of tea. I wonder if Carson's mom was just using her own biting sense of humor and while I don't know much about him, was his own sense of humor sarcastic?
Yeah, I don't like Picasso at all. That's kinda funny because I am reading Luis Bunuel's autobiography and I just got done reading where he said that he did not care for Picasso. I don't know if I would think of Johnny Carson's humor was sarcasm oriented or not. My instinct would say no. Though he certainly was sharp. From what I've read, his mom never tried to disguise her dislike for her son. If it's true, that's sad. I've been watching Johnny Carson clips where Joan Rivers was the guest. Like you said about Picasso, Rivers is not everybody's cup of tea, but sometimes she is hilarious. And even though she could be super edgy, I don't know if I would call her sarcastic, either. Maybe. I tend to think of sarcasm as kind of snotty and not generous, and Joan could definitely laugh at herself. The characters on "Friends" seemed to revel in sarcasm. But back to Joan... she was telling Johnny how she had been a guest at Madonna's wedding (no idea if this is true or made up) and she said "Oh, Madonna is hairy! Boy, is she hairy! When she lifted her arm up, I thought I saw Tina Turner!" LOL!!!
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Aug 14, 2019 23:56:10 GMT
That ladies quote from that movie, would be more of a passive criticism and Picasso isn't understandably everyone's cup of tea. I wonder if Carson's mom was just using her own biting sense of humor and while I don't know much about him, was his own sense of humor sarcastic?
Yeah, I don't like Picasso at all. That's kinda funny because I am reading Luis Bunuel's autobiography and I just got done reading where he said that he did not care for Picasso. I don't know if I would think of Johnny Carson's humor was sarcasm oriented or not. My instinct would say no. Though he certainly was sharp. From what I've read, his mom never tried to disguise her dislike for her son. If it's true, that's sad. I've been watching Johnny Carson clips where Joan Rivers was the guest. Like you said about Picasso, Rivers is not everybody's cup of tea, but sometimes she is hilarious. And even though she could be super edgy, I don't know if I would call her sarcastic, either. Maybe. I tend to think of sarcasm as kind of snotty and not generous, and Joan could definitely laugh at herself. The characters on "Friends" seemed to revel in sarcasm. But back to Joan... she was telling Johnny how she had been a guest at Madonna's wedding (no idea if this is true or made up) and she said "Oh, Madonna is hairy! Boy, is she hairy! When she lifted her arm up, I thought I saw Tina Turner!" LOL!!! Well, we both know what mothers can be like... 
Sarcasm is insulting humor, but it can have its time and place. While I haven't seen much of Rivers either, she did come across as a very funny person. I may have mentioned this to you before Mr. Dirty, but I sold her and her entourage tickets to see Home Alone in the very early 90's.
Now, Tina Turner...  She would have given Frank n' Furter a run for his money in the  department.
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Post by dirtypillows on Aug 15, 2019 0:04:39 GMT
Yeah, I don't like Picasso at all. That's kinda funny because I am reading Luis Bunuel's autobiography and I just got done reading where he said that he did not care for Picasso. I don't know if I would think of Johnny Carson's humor was sarcasm oriented or not. My instinct would say no. Though he certainly was sharp. From what I've read, his mom never tried to disguise her dislike for her son. If it's true, that's sad. I've been watching Johnny Carson clips where Joan Rivers was the guest. Like you said about Picasso, Rivers is not everybody's cup of tea, but sometimes she is hilarious. And even though she could be super edgy, I don't know if I would call her sarcastic, either. Maybe. I tend to think of sarcasm as kind of snotty and not generous, and Joan could definitely laugh at herself. The characters on "Friends" seemed to revel in sarcasm. But back to Joan... she was telling Johnny how she had been a guest at Madonna's wedding (no idea if this is true or made up) and she said "Oh, Madonna is hairy! Boy, is she hairy! When she lifted her arm up, I thought I saw Tina Turner!" LOL!!! Well, we both know what mothers can be like...
Sarcasm is insulting humor, but it can have its time and place. While I haven't seen much of Rivers either, she did come across as a very funny person. I may have mentioned this to you before Mr. Dirty, but I sold her and her entourage tickets to see Home Alone in the very early 90's.
Now, Tina Turner... She would have given Frank n' Furter a run for his money in the department. No, you definitely never told me that, Toasted Cheese! I think that's very cool. I'm sure the encounter would have been brief, but do you remember any specifics? She seems like she would have been a jovial spirit (with a dark side as well)... I love hearing about celebrity interactions. And you're so modest to have waited over ten years to tell it! I do like Tina Turner. She always seemed like the real deal. And she does have incredible legs. I think she lives in Switzerland now. I say good for her.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2019 3:41:02 GMT
You ever receive a back handed compliment which for those unfamiliar with the term means to both compliment you and to shade you in same sentence thus implyiing it is not really a compliment. An example is what happened tonight where the the faucet was leaking under the sink and pooling water. I immeaditely took charge; wiped up water; wiped down everything under sink; deteremined where problem was with faucet (needs to be replaced) and put damp rid container under sink to absorb any wetness and prevent mold. My husband responded to all my work "Thanks for taking care of that as usually I have to handle everything". Thus the back handed compliment. Have you had any? Good job, you almost spelled most of the words in your post correctly. Sorry, just teasing! I normally hate backhanded compliments but couldn't resist!
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Post by Toasted Cheese on Aug 15, 2019 8:24:02 GMT
Well, we both know what mothers can be like...
Sarcasm is insulting humor, but it can have its time and place. While I haven't seen much of Rivers either, she did come across as a very funny person. I may have mentioned this to you before Mr. Dirty, but I sold her and her entourage tickets to see Home Alone in the very early 90's.
Now, Tina Turner... She would have given Frank n' Furter a run for his money in the department. No, you definitely never told me that, Toasted Cheese! I think that's very cool. I'm sure the encounter would have been brief, but do you remember any specifics? She seems like she would have been a jovial spirit (with a dark side as well)... I love hearing about celebrity interactions. And you're so modest to have waited over ten years to tell it! I do like Tina Turner. She always seemed like the real deal. And she does have incredible legs. I think she lives in Switzerland now. I say good for her. She was struggling to get used to the 1 and 2 dollar coinage we have counting it out.  The $2 coin is smaller size than the $1 coin. She probably didn't even feel she would have been that well known or recognized in Australia and this was very early 90's. I had recalled seeing her advertised and doing a tour\gig around the country, so it was nice that she came in and I was able to make the correlation. I don't recall on commenting on anything, other than my usual professional demeanour, sold the tickets and would have said enjoy!
Talking about sarcastic humor, it seems I get on that bandwagon a lot. TT is ok as a performer I would say, never a big fan, I just found her a bit freaky deaky kinda like Cher.
dirtypillows , I recall when I was just going through Parkinson interviews, I met Barry Humphries too several years ago where I was working. He was in town doing a revue show and he came into the cinema where I was working. I don't think he liked the movie he was watching. I can't even recall the conversation because I was a bit excitable but I commented something to him and he responded with something amusingly complimentary in an almost Dame Ednaish manner. I felt a bit intimidated around him.
At any rate, this interview is hilarious with Parkinson, Judi Dench, Sharon Osbourne and of course the one and only Grand Dame Herself. Her discussion about how sexuality isn't important to her had me in stitches
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Post by lordquesterjones on Aug 15, 2019 9:18:20 GMT
I think you mean if someone says something insulting under breath after saying something complimentary. That's not a back handed compliment, that's just a snide remark.
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Post by lordquesterjones on Aug 15, 2019 9:21:20 GMT
Me to any American:
'You might be a bit mentally retarded, but at least you're not morbidly obese.'
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2019 13:48:24 GMT
I am not sure if you would officially class it as a back handed compliment but one compliment my Wife and I have always hated being told by guys is we are too beautiful to be Lesbians like we are all supposed to have short hair and look butch or something and I don't see it as a compliment and actually find it insulting. I have nothing against butches but I am the furthest thing from being butch and I don't find butches to be attractive either. 
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Post by someguy on Aug 19, 2019 5:10:15 GMT
I am not sure if you would officially class it as a back handed compliment but one compliment my Wife and I have always hated being told by guys is we are too beautiful to be Lesbians like we are all supposed to have short hair and look butch or something and I don't see it as a compliment and actually find it insulting. I have nothing against butches but I am the furthest thing from being butch and I don't find butches to be attractive either. I think some of that might be wishful thinking. |
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Post by mslo79 on Aug 19, 2019 11:30:29 GMT
@deblovesbeccy
I think it's because that's the type people typically affiliate with lesbians and he's simply surprised your not like that. I don't really think that's a insult to you because I would tend to assume one looks down more at the stereotypes (butch etc) than the non-stereotypes (like you).
like the same situation with males... people tend to think of those feminine types are the obvious gays and occasionally you will see some who does not come across as gay at all and it surprises the person. because usually people tend to expect it to be obvious whether someone is gay or not as it usually is, but every now and then you honestly can't tell as they come across as a typical straight person. he probably just figured you came across as a typical straight woman.
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