|
|
Post by klawrencio79 on Nov 15, 2019 18:28:47 GMT
Every once in a while, it's important for us to embrace the things we all share in life. Yeah, we all love sports (or at least, a sport) which is why we're here in the first place, but what else is there?
Look, I love my wife, you love your wife, we all love our wives. But the reality is that when I get home from work and she asks me how my day was, no matter how awful or great it was, my answer is invariably some sort of half-response because I'm tired and just need to veg for 30 minutes and let the stress wash off me while I do a peloton ride, or walk the dog, or do anything that doesn't require affirmative brain function. On the other hand, when I ask how her day was, I get a 30 minute diatribe about the women she works with and their highly dysfunctional inter-personal relationships. Every. Single. Day.
To be honest, we get along fantastically and really don't fight at all, but this is the one thing that I just can't stand. I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does, and I know it's stupid so I just sit there and do my best to act interested, hoping that she won't ask me a question that would require some sort of recollection of what she previously told me during one of these episodes.
Getting back to the point of this thread, my understanding is that this phenomenon is universal among married couples but who knows. Anyone else experience this or some derivative of this?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
@Deleted
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2019 18:45:35 GMT
Sounds awful.
|
|
|
|
Post by masterofallgoons on Nov 15, 2019 18:48:06 GMT
I'm with you on every part of this except for the Family Guy clip since I despise the show.
This is something I've learned to cope with and live with, but it is annoying... largely because it's so constant. My wife is aware of this completely and usually ends her rants with something like, 'Thanks for letting me vent,' or 'sorry for being annoying,' even though she knows I'm only half listening.
The other thing is she complains about the exact same behavior from other friends of ours and especially from her mom. If I feel like I wanna stir the pot a bit (at my own peril) I can point that out. Especially when I come home and start cooking or changing or whatever and she follows me around room to room to tell me these stories, a move we've dubbed the 'follow-bother.'
On one hand, it's annoying and I don't fully understand it since I don't like to unload the things I'm annoyed about from my day on her. I do, sometimes, but in general I'd rather not revisit all of those things at the end of the day.
What I do now is call on my drive home so the air is mostly cleared by the time I get home. It doesn't totally take care of that, but kinda helps, and you might not get caught not listening as easily.
Anyway, it's annoying, but I understand it's part of my job, but we don't get to vent about THAT annoyance back to them. I guess that's what this thread is for, though.
|
|
|
|
Post by klawrencio79 on Nov 15, 2019 18:50:48 GMT
I'm with you on every part of this except for the Family Guy clip since I despise the show. This is something I've learned to cope with and live with, but it is annoying... largely because it's so constant. My wife is aware of this completely and usually ends her rants with something like, 'Thanks for letting me vent,' or 'sorry for being annoying,' even though she knows I'm only half listening. The other thing is she complains about the exact same behavior from other friends of ours and especially from her mom. If I feel like I wanna stir the pot a bit (at my own peril) I can point that out. Especially when I come home and start cooking or changing or whatever and she follows me around room to room to tell me these stories, a move we've dubbed the 'follow-bother.' On one hand, it's annoying and I don't fully understand it since I don't like to unload the things I'm annoyed about from my day on her. I do, sometimes, but in general I'd rather not revisit all of those things at the end of the day. What I do now is call on my drive home so the air is mostly cleared by the time I get home. It doesn't totally take care of that, but kinda helps, and you might not get caught not listening as easily. Anyway, it's annoying, but I understand it's part of my job, but we don't get to vent about THAT annoyance back to them. I guess that's what this thread is for, though. I'm also not a Family Guy fan, but that clip is funny and seemed apt. Plus, we recognize it as a mere annoyance. Given that I don't get shit for traveling with my friends, going to festivals without her, etc., I can't really complain too much about her complaining.
|
|
|
|
Post by Rey Kahuka on Nov 15, 2019 18:56:28 GMT
I think it's universal. It isn't so much gossip but even to this day I get a full rundown of every project she's working on whereas I just give four word replies. "Had a busy day." Even though as my post history will attest, I haven't been super busy here in the office as of late. And let's just say I don't find her industry all that interesting (she's in insurance). Anyway, she's also got my son doing it now. "How was your day, daddy? What did you do today?" I love him to death but it's kind of annoying because I feel obligated to go into more detail with him. You want to feed your kid's curiosity. I'm glad we're not some dysfunctional family where everyone hates each other and nobody talks, but folks, I just want to eat.
|
|
|
|
Post by klawrencio79 on Nov 15, 2019 18:58:35 GMT
I think it's universal. It isn't so much gossip but even to this day I get a full rundown of every project she's working on whereas I just give four word replies. "Had a busy day." Even though as my post history will attest, I haven't been super busy here in the office as of late. And let's just say I don't find her industry all that interesting (she's in insurance). Anyway, she's also got my son doing it now. "How was your day, daddy? What did you do today?" I love him to death but it's kind of annoying because I feel obligated to go into more detail with him. You want to feed your kid's curiosity. I'm glad we're not some dysfunctional family where everyone hates each other and nobody talks, but folks, I just want to eat. When your sons asks you, you can just tell him whatever Mookie Betts did that day, like met with agents, had lunch at Smith & Wollensky, did a photo shoot for Breitling, had a 2 hour massage, etc.
|
|
|
|
Post by FrankSobotka1514 on Nov 15, 2019 19:21:05 GMT
Jesus I could have written your post word for word. My job is boring, some days are slow, some are busy, most are in between. I have few fairly uninteresting encounters with my coworkers. There is nothing I do in any given day that’s worth retelling and I can’t remember minutiae to tell her anyway. Her job is crazy busy every day, yet still incredibly boring to me. She supports a high level executive of a Fortune 500 company. She tells me about him, about all the people that report to him, all of the admins that support the other executives, his travel plans, what he had for lunch, difficult coworkers, the traffic on the way home, and 10,000 other small details that make my eyes glaze over. It’s like characters in a play and I get the audio book version of it. Every day Monday through Friday. Sometimes she tells me when she gets home (almost always after I get home). Sometimes she calls me on the way home. If there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I despise talking on the phone to anyone. ANYONE. One time I made the mistake of telling her that I don’t care about any of this. She responded angrily “then what the fuck else do you want to talk about?” So she vents and I listen when I just want to eat my dinner or read my book and not have to hear about her TPS Reports.
I say all this with the caveat that I love her, but for fucks sake it takes her an entire work shift worth of time to tell me all of this at the end of a long fucking day like she’s telling it in actual time and at those times I just wish I was the guy from Scanners and make her head explode so that she’d stop telling me about her day aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by klawrencio79 on Nov 15, 2019 19:25:07 GMT
Jesus I could have written your post word for word. My job is boring, some days are slow, some are busy, most are in between. I have few fairly uninteresting encounters with my coworkers. There is nothing I do in any given day that’s worth retelling and I can’t remember minutiae to tell her anyway. Her job is crazy busy every day, yet still incredibly boring to me. She supports a high level executive of a Fortune 500 company. She tells me about him, about all the people that report to him, all of the admins that support the other executives, his travel plans, what he had for lunch, difficult coworkers, the traffic on the way home, and 10,000 other small details that make my eyes glaze over. It’s like characters in a play and I get the audio book version of it. Every day Monday through Friday. Sometimes she tells me when she gets home (almost always after I get home). Sometimes she calls me on the way home. If there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I despise talking on the phone to anyone. ANYONE. One time I made the mistake of telling her that I don’t care about any of this. She responded angrily “then what the fuck else do you want to talk about?” So she vents and I listen when I just want to eat my dinner or read my book and not have to hear about her TPS Reports. No!! Danger Will Robinson!!! 
|
|
|
|
Post by FrankSobotka1514 on Nov 15, 2019 19:34:25 GMT
Jesus I could have written your post word for word. My job is boring, some days are slow, some are busy, most are in between. I have few fairly uninteresting encounters with my coworkers. There is nothing I do in any given day that’s worth retelling and I can’t remember minutiae to tell her anyway. Her job is crazy busy every day, yet still incredibly boring to me. She supports a high level executive of a Fortune 500 company. She tells me about him, about all the people that report to him, all of the admins that support the other executives, his travel plans, what he had for lunch, difficult coworkers, the traffic on the way home, and 10,000 other small details that make my eyes glaze over. It’s like characters in a play and I get the audio book version of it. Every day Monday through Friday. Sometimes she tells me when she gets home (almost always after I get home). Sometimes she calls me on the way home. If there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I despise talking on the phone to anyone. ANYONE. One time I made the mistake of telling her that I don’t care about any of this. She responded angrily “then what the fuck else do you want to talk about?” So she vents and I listen when I just want to eat my dinner or read my book and not have to hear about her TPS Reports. No!! Danger Will Robinson!!! With her being my second wife you’d think I’d learn my lesson. Sometimes it’s ok to have silence. I’m not a roadie for the Stones. I don’t work at NASA. I didn’t score 35 points for the Sixers last night. I have a boring job and I myself am boring. I have nothing big to talk about during an average work day. And technically neither does she, but apparently I’m wrong about that. I used to see this therapist and one of my issues we’d talk about was the concept of “my time” vs. “their time.” Working, the commute, going to bed, cooking dinner, that’s all their time. I don’t consider it my time unless it’s something I want to do and don’t have to do. Watching tv. Reading. Playing with the cats. Walking around the neighborhood. Her telling me this during “my time” becomes a “not my time” and reduces the limited amount of “my time” that I have and I fucking loathe it like Gabe Kapler to the power of Andy Reid. This sounds like I hate my wife but really I just hate this one fucking thing. |
|
|
|
Post by millar70 on Nov 15, 2019 19:37:33 GMT
Thank the Lord for prostitutes.
There's a reason why it's the world's oldest occupation. 😉
|
|
|
|
Post by masterofallgoons on Nov 15, 2019 19:47:30 GMT
I used to see this therapist and one of my issues we’d talk about was the concept of “my time” vs. “their time.” Working, the commute, going to bed, cooking dinner, that’s all their time. I don’t consider it my time unless it’s something I want to do and don’t have to do. Watching tv. Reading. Playing with the cats. Walking around the neighborhood. Her telling me this during “my time” becomes a “not my time” and reduces the limited amount of “my time” that I have and I fucking loathe it like Gabe Kapler to the power of Andy Reid. This sounds like I hate my wife but really I just hate this one fucking thing. What about posting on here? Is that your time? ![]() 
|
|
|
|
Post by masterofallgoons on Nov 15, 2019 19:54:15 GMT
I'm with you on every part of this except for the Family Guy clip since I despise the show. This is something I've learned to cope with and live with, but it is annoying... largely because it's so constant. My wife is aware of this completely and usually ends her rants with something like, 'Thanks for letting me vent,' or 'sorry for being annoying,' even though she knows I'm only half listening. The other thing is she complains about the exact same behavior from other friends of ours and especially from her mom. If I feel like I wanna stir the pot a bit (at my own peril) I can point that out. Especially when I come home and start cooking or changing or whatever and she follows me around room to room to tell me these stories, a move we've dubbed the 'follow-bother.' On one hand, it's annoying and I don't fully understand it since I don't like to unload the things I'm annoyed about from my day on her. I do, sometimes, but in general I'd rather not revisit all of those things at the end of the day. What I do now is call on my drive home so the air is mostly cleared by the time I get home. It doesn't totally take care of that, but kinda helps, and you might not get caught not listening as easily. Anyway, it's annoying, but I understand it's part of my job, but we don't get to vent about THAT annoyance back to them. I guess that's what this thread is for, though. I'm also not a Family Guy fan, but that clip is funny and seemed apt. Plus, we recognize it as a mere annoyance. Given that I don't get shit for traveling with my friends, going to festivals without her, etc., I can't really complain too much about her complaining. Yeah, plus I'm thankful that she's aware of it and doesn't always get too annoyed by me being annoyed. As much as I don't want to, sometimes the best thing is to interject and say something she's complaining about reminded me of something that pissed me off and compare complaints. It's a good way of basically saying, 'Yeah, we all get annoyed by stuff' without saying 'Shut the fuck up!' ..but usually I just say, 'uh-huh...Yeah.. really?' and get on with it. |
|
|
|
Post by FrankSobotka1514 on Nov 15, 2019 19:58:45 GMT
I used to see this therapist and one of my issues we’d talk about was the concept of “my time” vs. “their time.” Working, the commute, going to bed, cooking dinner, that’s all their time. I don’t consider it my time unless it’s something I want to do and don’t have to do. Watching tv. Reading. Playing with the cats. Walking around the neighborhood. Her telling me this during “my time” becomes a “not my time” and reduces the limited amount of “my time” that I have and I fucking loathe it like Gabe Kapler to the power of Andy Reid. This sounds like I hate my wife but really I just hate this one fucking thing. What about posting on here? Is that your time? ![]() Yes that’s my time. Well technically it’s usually my boss’s time since I post from work but you get the idea. |
|
|
|
Post by WarrenPeace on Nov 15, 2019 20:44:06 GMT
Every once in a while, it's important for us to embrace the things we all share in life. Yeah, we all love sports (or at least, a sport) which is why we're here in the first place, but what else is there? Look, I love my wife, you love your wife, we all love our wives. But the reality is that when I get home from work and she asks me how my day was, no matter how awful or great it was, my answer is invariably some sort of half-response because I'm tired and just need to veg for 30 minutes and let the stress wash off me while I do a peloton ride, or walk the dog, or do anything that doesn't require affirmative brain function. On the other hand, when I ask how her day was, I get a 30 minute diatribe about the women she works with and their highly dysfunctional inter-personal relationships. Every. Single. Day. To be honest, we get along fantastically and really don't fight at all, but this is the one thing that I just can't stand. I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does, and I know it's stupid so I just sit there and do my best to act interested, hoping that she won't ask me a question that would require some sort of recollection of what she previously told me during one of these episodes. Getting back to the point of this thread, my understanding is that this phenomenon is universal among married couples but who knows. Anyone else experience this or some derivative of this? I'm with you on every part of this except for the Family Guy clip since I despise the show. This is something I've learned to cope with and live with, but it is annoying... largely because it's so constant. My wife is aware of this completely and usually ends her rants with something like, 'Thanks for letting me vent,' or 'sorry for being annoying,' even though she knows I'm only half listening. The other thing is she complains about the exact same behavior from other friends of ours and especially from her mom. If I feel like I wanna stir the pot a bit (at my own peril) I can point that out. Especially when I come home and start cooking or changing or whatever and she follows me around room to room to tell me these stories, a move we've dubbed the 'follow-bother.' On one hand, it's annoying and I don't fully understand it since I don't like to unload the things I'm annoyed about from my day on her. I do, sometimes, but in general I'd rather not revisit all of those things at the end of the day. What I do now is call on my drive home so the air is mostly cleared by the time I get home. It doesn't totally take care of that, but kinda helps, and you might not get caught not listening as easily. Anyway, it's annoying, but I understand it's part of my job, but we don't get to vent about THAT annoyance back to them. I guess that's what this thread is for, though. Jesus I could have written your post word for word. My job is boring, some days are slow, some are busy, most are in between. I have few fairly uninteresting encounters with my coworkers. There is nothing I do in any given day that’s worth retelling and I can’t remember minutiae to tell her anyway. Her job is crazy busy every day, yet still incredibly boring to me. She supports a high level executive of a Fortune 500 company. She tells me about him, about all the people that report to him, all of the admins that support the other executives, his travel plans, what he had for lunch, difficult coworkers, the traffic on the way home, and 10,000 other small details that make my eyes glaze over. It’s like characters in a play and I get the audio book version of it. Every day Monday through Friday. Sometimes she tells me when she gets home (almost always after I get home). Sometimes she calls me on the way home. If there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I despise talking on the phone to anyone. ANYONE. One time I made the mistake of telling her that I don’t care about any of this. She responded angrily “then what the fuck else do you want to talk about?” So she vents and I listen when I just want to eat my dinner or read my book and not have to hear about her TPS Reports. I say all this with the caveat that I love her, but for fucks sake it takes her an entire work shift worth of time to tell me all of this at the end of a long fucking day like she’s telling it in actual time and at those times I just wish I was the guy from Scanners and make her head explode so that she’d stop telling me about her day aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! What's wrong with you guys? Can't you just say, "Honey, I need some space. I had another long day at work. Give me about 30-45 minutes to rest and then we can talk about each other's day. OK?" Either you are lousy with communication or she is lousy with understanding. It's ALWAYS her. Never us. Right? 
|
|
|
|
Post by FrankSobotka1514 on Nov 15, 2019 20:49:31 GMT
Every once in a while, it's important for us to embrace the things we all share in life. Yeah, we all love sports (or at least, a sport) which is why we're here in the first place, but what else is there? Look, I love my wife, you love your wife, we all love our wives. But the reality is that when I get home from work and she asks me how my day was, no matter how awful or great it was, my answer is invariably some sort of half-response because I'm tired and just need to veg for 30 minutes and let the stress wash off me while I do a peloton ride, or walk the dog, or do anything that doesn't require affirmative brain function. On the other hand, when I ask how her day was, I get a 30 minute diatribe about the women she works with and their highly dysfunctional inter-personal relationships. Every. Single. Day. To be honest, we get along fantastically and really don't fight at all, but this is the one thing that I just can't stand. I don't know why it bothers me as much as it does, and I know it's stupid so I just sit there and do my best to act interested, hoping that she won't ask me a question that would require some sort of recollection of what she previously told me during one of these episodes. Getting back to the point of this thread, my understanding is that this phenomenon is universal among married couples but who knows. Anyone else experience this or some derivative of this? I'm with you on every part of this except for the Family Guy clip since I despise the show. This is something I've learned to cope with and live with, but it is annoying... largely because it's so constant. My wife is aware of this completely and usually ends her rants with something like, 'Thanks for letting me vent,' or 'sorry for being annoying,' even though she knows I'm only half listening. The other thing is she complains about the exact same behavior from other friends of ours and especially from her mom. If I feel like I wanna stir the pot a bit (at my own peril) I can point that out. Especially when I come home and start cooking or changing or whatever and she follows me around room to room to tell me these stories, a move we've dubbed the 'follow-bother.' On one hand, it's annoying and I don't fully understand it since I don't like to unload the things I'm annoyed about from my day on her. I do, sometimes, but in general I'd rather not revisit all of those things at the end of the day. What I do now is call on my drive home so the air is mostly cleared by the time I get home. It doesn't totally take care of that, but kinda helps, and you might not get caught not listening as easily. Anyway, it's annoying, but I understand it's part of my job, but we don't get to vent about THAT annoyance back to them. I guess that's what this thread is for, though. Jesus I could have written your post word for word. My job is boring, some days are slow, some are busy, most are in between. I have few fairly uninteresting encounters with my coworkers. There is nothing I do in any given day that’s worth retelling and I can’t remember minutiae to tell her anyway. Her job is crazy busy every day, yet still incredibly boring to me. She supports a high level executive of a Fortune 500 company. She tells me about him, about all the people that report to him, all of the admins that support the other executives, his travel plans, what he had for lunch, difficult coworkers, the traffic on the way home, and 10,000 other small details that make my eyes glaze over. It’s like characters in a play and I get the audio book version of it. Every day Monday through Friday. Sometimes she tells me when she gets home (almost always after I get home). Sometimes she calls me on the way home. If there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I despise talking on the phone to anyone. ANYONE. One time I made the mistake of telling her that I don’t care about any of this. She responded angrily “then what the fuck else do you want to talk about?” So she vents and I listen when I just want to eat my dinner or read my book and not have to hear about her TPS Reports. I say all this with the caveat that I love her, but for fucks sake it takes her an entire work shift worth of time to tell me all of this at the end of a long fucking day like she’s telling it in actual time and at those times I just wish I was the guy from Scanners and make her head explode so that she’d stop telling me about her day aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! What's wrong with you guys? Can't you just say, "Honey, I need some space. I had another long day at work. Give me about 30-45 minutes to rest and then we can talk about each other's day. OK?" Either you are lousy with communication or she is lousy with understanding. It's ALWAYS her. Never us. Right? There’s no way you’re married if this is your response. |
|
|
|
Post by Rey Kahuka on Nov 15, 2019 21:03:47 GMT
No!! Danger Will Robinson!!! With her being my second wife you’d think I’d learn my lesson. Sometimes it’s ok to have silence. I’m not a roadie for the Stones. I don’t work at NASA. I didn’t score 35 points for the Sixers last night. I have a boring job and I myself am boring. I have nothing big to talk about during an average work day. And technically neither does she, but apparently I’m wrong about that. I used to see this therapist and one of my issues we’d talk about was the concept of “my time” vs. “their time.” Working, the commute, going to bed, cooking dinner, that’s all their time. I don’t consider it my time unless it’s something I want to do and don’t have to do. Watching tv. Reading. Playing with the cats. Walking around the neighborhood. Her telling me this during “my time” becomes a “not my time” and reduces the limited amount of “my time” that I have and I fucking loathe it like Gabe Kapler to the power of Andy Reid. This sounds like I hate my wife but really I just hate this one fucking thing. It's just one of those differences between men and women. Women like to talk about their daily lives, men don't. You listen to my wife talk to her friends, it's like an endless facebook feed. Meanwhile my closest friends and I got together last summer at one of my friend's restaurant for the first time in at least 5 years and we bullshitted all night. It was great. My wife asked me the next day, "So how are things with xxxx's work?" I don't know, it never came up! He probably doesn't remember where I work and I'd have to think about which firm he's at and I wouldn't be confident in the answer. We don't really talk about work or family. We talk about important things, like sports and movies.
|
|
|
|
Post by WarrenPeace on Nov 15, 2019 21:26:05 GMT
What's wrong with you guys? Can't you just say, "Honey, I need some space. I had another long day at work. Give me about 30-45 minutes to rest and then we can talk about each other's day. OK?" Either you are lousy with communication or she is lousy with understanding. It's ALWAYS her. Never us. Right? There’s no way you’re married if this is your response. You're right. I am not, never have been and don't care to. Just live in situations that I may do again. I dunno. I guess my gfs were more understanding than your wives?  Can't you guys ask for a little "Me time" first?
|
|
|
|
Post by FrankSobotka1514 on Nov 15, 2019 21:27:42 GMT
There’s no way you’re married if this is your response. You're right. I am not, never have been and don't care to. Just live in situations that I may do again. I dunno. I guess my gfs were more understanding than your wives? Can't you guys ask for a little "Me time" first? No, we can’t. |
|
|
|
Post by screamingtreefrogs on Nov 15, 2019 21:38:30 GMT
I just think it's awesome one of us has a Peloton |
|
|
|
Post by klawrencio79 on Nov 15, 2019 22:53:04 GMT
I just think it's awesome one of us has a Peloton They’re awesome! That dude kinda sucks though.
|
|
