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Post by suzi on Mar 4, 2020 19:02:51 GMT
In June my husband and I will be married 63 years. Yeah I know it seems like a long time, I don't know where all those years in between went. How did I get so old so fast? So obviously I checked something else because I favor marriage, but I'm also OK with folks who don't.
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Post by MooseNugget on Mar 4, 2020 19:04:16 GMT
It's gotta be the right girl and I've never found her yet. I'd rather die alone than be with a girl who going to chase me for child support or make me unhappy. If you ever found that girl, why not just be boyfriend and girlfriend? You guys could stay together for 10, 20 years. But no binding and restrictive contract. I'm not going to marry a girl I been with for a couple of months. And if we're having kids we're getting married anyway. You'd want them to end up with your stuff if something happens to you and there not be a question about it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2020 19:07:56 GMT
Some day, perhaps. To have a hostage I can dump all my love, quirks and affection on to. Of course. I've never been married but I've always thought marriage is an opportunity to be better, to actually have a lightning rod for all your quirks and spur of the moment romantic ideas. People thinking being single is free; me less so. Being single is the real trap.
It's true it's an outdated concept, you don't need paper from the government saying who you love. All I know is one of my life's goals was to be anywhere near as good a dad as my dad is to my sister and myself.
The odds of finding that one in a million partner with whom all your parts interlock perfectly are just that, about one in a million. However, you only guaranteed way to never win the lottery is to never play.
But, as you say, you can do all of that without getting married. I've had girlfriends before. I've never cheated on one. And there is Common Law Marriage. But why make it official, binding and restrictive? Cultural. Some people want the security and with marriage comes a raft of privileges, tax related stuff. You're right, you definitely don't need to be married to do those things, but if you have a partner who feels more security with it, then to them it's real. My dad didn't want to marry my mom because to him marriage is a piece of paper, but she was raised differently. She wanted it, and by the time marriage comes around, it's a little late to say well couldn't you have been raised differently?
I've always felt more than half of married couples aren't right for each other. They married young, or they married because society says you have to (or they were running out of time, biological clock, peer pressure, etc.) then they realize they're not right for each other and there's nothing they can do about it. It sucks. I think a lot of couples (at least one of them, if not both) silently go mad over the course of years because they're unhappy and don't treat their marriage like a canvas to make things better. Hell, sometimes they even conspire to kill their spouse. Damn.
All I know is if it's just a piece of paper, then it's not so hard to endure it. If someone wants the extra security of the formalization of marriage, I think it's sweet.
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Post by jillresurrected on Mar 4, 2020 19:10:20 GMT
No. I had a panic attack when a guy I was with spoke about having children. Game over right there. Aww, you would have such smart and cute kids. Yes. Little Bernie Bros and other terrorists. Thanks, anyway.
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Post by flash321 on Mar 4, 2020 19:11:55 GMT
Aww, you would have such smart and cute kids. Yes. Little Bernie Bros and other terrorists. Thanks, anyway. 
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Mar 4, 2020 19:12:29 GMT
No because I’m already married and polygamy seems like a headache.
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Post by Rissa on Mar 4, 2020 19:13:36 GMT
No because I’m already married and polygamy seems like a headache. Does your spouse hate Bernie as much as you do? |
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Mar 4, 2020 19:14:17 GMT
No because I’m already married and polygamy seems like a headache. Does your spouse hate Bernie as much as you do? i don’t hate Bernie....so yes. |
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Post by Rissa on Mar 4, 2020 19:16:41 GMT
Does your spouse hate Bernie as much as you do? i don’t hate Bernie....so yes. You know what I meant. |
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Post by CoolJGS☺ on Mar 4, 2020 19:19:46 GMT
i don’t hate Bernie....so yes. You know what I meant. Neither of us are Bernie supporters if thats what you meant. I actually have no idea who she’s voting for so so I could be wrong but she would be affected by his plans as well. We very rarely discuss politics as it has no bearing in our marriage and we both don’t see either political party as defining our ideals which is far more important. |
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Post by CheetahCandy on Mar 4, 2020 19:23:21 GMT
only if i met the right guy...since my divorce, i've been skittish about it....don't wanna get into anything too fast...trust issues and all...
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Post by Dr. Miles Bennell on Mar 4, 2020 19:28:16 GMT
Already am married. It'll be 40 years this July.
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Post by divtal on Mar 4, 2020 20:04:38 GMT
Not really. When I was younger, I thought that I would marry, one day, because that seemed like the "natural order of things." But, I never went husband-hunting, as some friends did. There were a couple of relationships in which we talked about the possibility. Looking back on those, I'm just as happy that it didn't come to marriage. Not out of animosity, as we're still friends.
Now, I'm retired, and I love my life the way it is. I'm fortunate in health. I love where I live ... I'm free to travel, then come back here. I have friends/neighbors, and I can maintain a nice balance between that and privacy.
I guess the best thing is that I can look back on it all, without regret.
Add Edit: I voted "something else," as the other choices didn't precisely describe my feelings.
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Post by movieliker on Mar 4, 2020 20:18:38 GMT
Not really. When I was younger, I thought that I would marry, one day, because that seemed like the "natural order of things." But, I never went husband-hunting, as some friends did. There were a couple of relationships in which we talked about the possibility. Looking back on those, I'm just as happy that it didn't come to marriage. Not out of animosity, as we're still friends. Now, I'm retired, and I love my life the way it is. I'm fortunate in health. I love where I live ... I'm free to travel, then come back here. I have friends/neighbors, and I can maintain a nice balance between that and privacy. I guess the best thing is that I can look back on it all, without regret. Add Edit: I voted "something else," as the other choices didn't precisely describe my feelings. That's essentially my experience. I was never against it. I used to feel that was the normal process. But now I'm happy I never married. |
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Post by enigma72 on Mar 4, 2020 20:24:20 GMT
I have been married 39 years in June.
When you are young you can be single but when you get older you need the support.
The 61 year old above sounds happy so there are exceptions. I just think it is healthy to be married. Indeed married people live longer
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2020 20:24:24 GMT
To whom? Ving rhames? Absolutely.
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Post by movieliker on Mar 4, 2020 20:30:09 GMT
I have been married 39 years in June. When you are young you can be single but when you get older you need the support. The 61 year old above sounds happy so there are exceptions. I just think it is healthy to be married. Indeed married people live longer I think that's a good point. I have a huge family (over 300 people). And we're very close. So I have the support system. But more and more, big families are less common. |
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Post by GoodbyePorkPieHat on Mar 4, 2020 20:46:39 GMT
"I spent my life searching for the perfect woman, and I finally found her! Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man."
BT/DT twice. Am not looking for a relationship but wouldn't rule one out if the opportunity came along.
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Post by movieliker on Mar 4, 2020 21:13:14 GMT
But, as you say, you can do all of that without getting married. I've had girlfriends before. I've never cheated on one. And there is Common Law Marriage. But why make it official, binding and restrictive? Cultural. Some people want the security and with marriage comes a raft of privileges, tax related stuff. You're right, you definitely don't need to be married to do those things, but if you have a partner who feels more security with it, then to them it's real. My dad didn't want to marry my mom because to him marriage is a piece of paper, but she was raised differently. She wanted it, and by the time marriage comes around, it's a little late to say well couldn't you have been raised differently?
I've always felt more than half of married couples aren't right for each other. They married young, or they married because society says you have to (or they were running out of time, biological clock, peer pressure, etc.) then they realize they're not right for each other and there's nothing they can do about it. It sucks. I think a lot of couples (at least one of them, if not both) silently go mad over the course of years because they're unhappy and don't treat their marriage like a canvas to make things better. Hell, sometimes they even conspire to kill their spouse. Damn.
All I know is if it's just a piece of paper, then it's not so hard to endure it. If someone wants the extra security of the formalization of marriage, I think it's sweet.
Lots of people have amicable divorces. And even if you're not married, if you live together for so many years --- especially if you have kids --- you are classified as being married by Common Law Marriage. Many legal restrictions and obligations apply to Common Law Marriage. |
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Post by enigma72 on Mar 5, 2020 1:00:55 GMT
I have been married 39 years in June. When you are young you can be single but when you get older you need the support. The 61 year old above sounds happy so there are exceptions. I just think it is healthy to be married. Indeed married people live longer I think that's a good point. I have a huge family (over 300 people). And we're very close. So I have the support system. But more and more, big families are less common. I have less than a dozen relatives. You are lucky |
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