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Post by dirtypillows on May 3, 2020 4:33:53 GMT
Like ever? Like they aren't capable of coming forward and offering an apology?
I do and it can be infuriating. Maybe their parents (or whomever) never showed them that a sincere apology after some infraction or wrongdoing, but that kind of reasoning can be infuriating. Maybe the person feels like they shouldn't have to apologize and this would be an ego thing, but at the same time, this is denying the person some basic level of humanity as EVERYBODY IS WRONG SOME TIMES! Offering the apology may be sting a little at first and of course it's a humbling act, but this is where the humanity thing comes into play.
In addition to that, not extending the wronged person a sincere, somewhat pained apology can transmit as saying the other person isn't worth the acknowledgement and that's plain rude, not kind or decent at all.
At a slightly different level, do you think it's important for a parent to apologize to their child when they have disrespected the child in some potentially harmful way? I think the parent should make a real effort to not just automatically take the role of being this authority figure who is always right.
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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2020 6:00:03 GMT
Yes, I think it's important for parents to admit when they are wrong.
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Post by Feologild Oakes on May 3, 2020 10:44:07 GMT
Yes
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Post by JHA Durant on May 3, 2020 11:01:42 GMT
Yeah, I do.
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Post by Catman 猫的主人 on May 3, 2020 13:34:29 GMT
Cats.
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Post by msdemos on May 3, 2020 13:44:52 GMT
 SAVE FERRIS
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Post by autumn on May 3, 2020 14:06:58 GMT
Yes.
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Post by TheOriginalPinky on May 3, 2020 14:52:01 GMT
Yes. It's an indication of some type of mental defect, mental illness, etc.
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Post by autumn on May 3, 2020 15:05:50 GMT
Yes. It's an indication of some type of mental defect, mental illness, etc. Isn't it an aspect of psychopathy or sociopathy? Might even be narcissistic personality disorder.
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Post by TheOriginalPinky on May 3, 2020 15:07:42 GMT
Yes. It's an indication of some type of mental defect, mental illness, etc. Isn't it an aspect of psychopathy or sociopathy? Might even be narcissistic personality disorder. Yes, and narcissism.
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Post by pennypacker on May 3, 2020 16:22:28 GMT
Sorry, but I’ll never apologize.
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Post by Ass_E9 on May 3, 2020 17:15:13 GMT
No, sorry.
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Post by bravomailer on May 3, 2020 17:24:43 GMT
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Post by divtal on May 3, 2020 17:29:02 GMT
Save for the one who I see/hear on the news, everyday, I can't think of any personal friends/colleagues who fall into that category.
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Post by dirtypillows on May 4, 2020 0:22:57 GMT
Yes. It's an indication of some type of mental defect, mental illness, etc. Isn't it an aspect of psychopathy or sociopathy? Might even be narcissistic personality disorder. Yes, I can absolutely see this inability to apologize as a basic aspect of narcissistic personality disorder. These people can't (or won't) see themselves as ever being wrong. Also false pride, e.g. the John Wayne type. |
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Post by Dirty Santa PaulsLaugh on May 4, 2020 0:31:23 GMT
I think this is a primate instinct to not show signs of weakness.
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Post by Toasted Cheese on May 4, 2020 0:39:31 GMT
Yes. It's an indication of some type of mental defect, mental illness, etc. Isn't it an aspect of psychopathy or sociopathy? Might even be narcissistic personality disorder. I was going to offer something similar. I agree, but also the circumstance of the dynamic of any situation is different and doesn't necessarily mean that an apology is appropriate, even if someone feels hurt or wronged by something.
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Post by Toasted Cheese on May 4, 2020 0:51:37 GMT
Like ever? Like they aren't capable of coming forward and offering an apology? I do and it can be infuriating. Maybe their parents (or whomever) never showed them that a sincere apology after some infraction or wrongdoing, but that kind of reasoning can be infuriating. Maybe the person feels like they shouldn't have to apologize and this would be an ego thing, but at the same time, this is denying the person some basic level of humanity as EVERYBODY IS WRONG SOME TIMES! Offering the apology may be sting a little at first and of course it's a humbling act, but this is where the humanity thing comes into play. In addition to that, not extending the wronged person a sincere, somewhat pained apology can transmit as saying the other person isn't worth the acknowledgement and that's plain rude, not kind or decent at all. At a slightly different level, do you think it's important for a parent to apologize to their child when they have disrespected the child in some potentially harmful way? I think the parent should make a real effort to not just automatically take the role of being this authority figure who is always right. Apologies are a situational thing to me and they have to be sincere to make an impact. I spent a large part of my childhood with my parents, my dad especially, apologizing to me for their reactionary behavior, then continuing on doing the same thing. The lesson wasn't learned. The ego and control issues have such a stranglehold, that being humble is not really something that is on the cards or even understood. Bitterness plays a large aspect as well.
I have felt sorry for things at a specific time, but then have changed my tune when in hindsight, it wasn't necessary to feel like that in the first place. Parental thing again too largely, when they continue on with their denial and game and I see things from a different perspective.
I think many parents also feel they own their children and that we owe them something for our lives. The paradox is, in a sense we do, but from a bigger world picture, we are not owned by anybody, but accountable to ourselves.
Remorse is what we can often expect of others too and that is what the justice system likes to propagate. Most of those running that circus, are narcissistic and sociopathic within themselves, so their game of entitlement is also not genuine and honest. It is up to each individual and they make that decision if they feel bad or sorry or not.
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Post by Sarge on May 4, 2020 8:05:37 GMT
Yep. The person has a fragile ego and admitting error is absolutely crushing to them. This person is incapable of learning from mistakes and if something turns out wrong will just keep doing it the same way over and over rather than admit it isn't working. Her parents give her lots of empty praise because she is shy so I think it created arrogance with an underlying insecurity.
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Post by dirtypillows on May 4, 2020 8:34:00 GMT
Like ever? Like they aren't capable of coming forward and offering an apology? I do and it can be infuriating. Maybe their parents (or whomever) never showed them that a sincere apology after some infraction or wrongdoing, but that kind of reasoning can be infuriating. Maybe the person feels like they shouldn't have to apologize and this would be an ego thing, but at the same time, this is denying the person some basic level of humanity as EVERYBODY IS WRONG SOME TIMES! Offering the apology may be sting a little at first and of course it's a humbling act, but this is where the humanity thing comes into play. In addition to that, not extending the wronged person a sincere, somewhat pained apology can transmit as saying the other person isn't worth the acknowledgement and that's plain rude, not kind or decent at all. At a slightly different level, do you think it's important for a parent to apologize to their child when they have disrespected the child in some potentially harmful way? I think the parent should make a real effort to not just automatically take the role of being this authority figure who is always right. Apologies are a situational thing to me and they have to be sincere to make an impact. I spent a large part of my childhood with my parents, my dad especially, apologizing to me for their reactionary behavior, then continuing on doing the same thing. The lesson wasn't learned. The ego and control issues have such a stranglehold, that being humble is not really something that is on the cards or even understood. Bitterness plays a large aspect as well.
I have felt sorry for things at a specific time, but then have changed my tune when in hindsight, it wasn't necessary to feel like that in the first place. Parental thing again too largely, when they continue on with their denial and game and I see things from a different perspective.
I think many parents also feel they own their children and that we owe them something for our lives. The paradox is, in a sense we do, but from a bigger world picture, we are not owned by anybody, but accountable to ourselves.
Remorse is what we can often expect of others too and that is what the justice system likes to propagate. Most of those running that circus, are narcissistic and sociopathic within themselves, so their game of entitlement is also not genuine and honest. It is up to each individual and they make that decision if they feel bad or sorry or not.
About remorse and the justice system, it kinda makes me sick to my stomach. If a person feels contrite, then that's what they feel and I think it's a good, healthy for a person to have some conscience, going about his life. The justice system... well, justice is fine, but it's near impossible for there not to be some coloring of the vindictive coming through. Oh, I can't stand judges, or at least what they represent. To cut to the chase - suicide watch on the condemned man. No, the law is so worried that the person about to be put to death will beat them to the punch. And why? Because they feel that justice must be meted out according to the terms of the all-holy law. There can be no rest or resolution until the law is done. And insult to injury, these righteous individuals would never admit to another person that they feel personal gratification when the condemned man is put to death. Just as they would personally cheated if the man got the chance and took his own life. Oh, I think that would just burn them up, that the person had the wherewithal (and the opportunity) to end their life on THEIR terms. They would likely see that as some ultimate travesty. I know not everybody feels this way. I have read about accounts where the jury member is crying upon passing down the capital sentence. Bless their hearts, they have a lot more courage (if that's the right word), then I do. About parents and their notions... yes, some parents do feel like they own their children. These narcissistic jerks with no real, deep sense of parental responsibility. And as far as parents who feel like their children owe them something for giving them life, well, the other side of that coin is if the child does not enjoy his life, then mom and dad are responsible for that as well. Self-righteous parents need to be taken down a notch or two, they don't get to have it both ways. I remember reading once (it's been a long time) about some long-standing Chinese custom whereupon if a person happened to intervene in order to save the life of a person whose intention it was to commit suicide, then that intervening person would then become responsible for the well-being of the suicidal person for the rest of his life. Now that is about as far away from the Western line of thought as it gets, and I get it. I can appreciate it. |
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