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Post by kolchak92 on Aug 17, 2020 23:25:00 GMT
 I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
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Post by alpha128 on Aug 18, 2020 2:28:46 GMT
Sorry, folks! We're closed for two weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!  |
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Post by Captain Spencer on Aug 18, 2020 2:31:04 GMT
I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles!  |
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Post by Captain Spencer on Aug 18, 2020 2:34:52 GMT
Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.  |
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Post by alpha128 on Aug 18, 2020 2:35:06 GMT
Oh spare me, Clark! I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1,000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud!  |
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Post by alpha128 on Aug 18, 2020 2:46:42 GMT
Perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?  |
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Post by kolchak92 on Aug 18, 2020 3:03:59 GMT
 O God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great dispair. Yea, admit this good and decent woman into thine arms in the flock in thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he laid its down by the band of the Canaanites, and yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you: give her... give her a break.
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Post by MCDemuth on Aug 18, 2020 3:42:22 GMT
Is this really our car, Dad?You think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it.
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 3:48:18 GMT
Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state? Well... it's probably pretty stiff.  |
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 3:50:37 GMT
I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?  |
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 3:57:46 GMT
It’s a BB gun! Don't tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing.  |
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Post by MCDemuth on Aug 18, 2020 3:57:56 GMT
Pretty exciting, isn't it, Rusty?
What's that, Dad?
Picking up the new car.
Yeah, you can't wait, can you?
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Post by MCDemuth on Aug 18, 2020 4:18:23 GMT
And this little moppet on my skirts is Daisy-Mabel.
Well. How old are you, little one?
She was born without a tongue, Clark.
Ooh.
But don't worry about her.
She whistles like a bird and eats like a horse.
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 4:25:13 GMT
Uh, don't take this personally Vicki, but being a farmer isn't too cool you know.  |
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Post by MCDemuth on Aug 18, 2020 4:34:02 GMT
Here he is, Uncle Clark, all walked and everything.
What is this? A dog?
He's Aunt Edna's.
His name is Dinky. He watches Family Feud. Oh. Hi, how are you, little fellow?
[GROWLS THEN BARKS] Easy.
Yeah. You folks didn't get to meet Dinky last night. He had the shits, so he slept in the barn.
Ah.
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 4:48:46 GMT
We're not really violent people. This is our first gun.  |
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Post by MCDemuth on Aug 18, 2020 4:57:38 GMT
Dad, you must've jumped this thing about 50 yards.
It's nothing to be proud of, Rusty... Fifty yards.
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 5:11:57 GMT
Hey Yellabelly, I'm talking to you! Hey Tender foot, move your chicken wings, turkey!  |
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 5:32:30 GMT
I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.  |
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Post by movielover on Aug 18, 2020 5:38:38 GMT
This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!  |
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