"Movies are the enemy of the novel because they are replacing novels. Novelists shouldn’t write for the movies, unless, of course, they discover they’re no good at writing novels." - John Irving
Iran's Most Wanted with Phil Hartman. Not on Youtube it seems.
"Learn from me, if not by my precepts, at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge and how much happier that man is who believes his native town to be the world, than he who aspires to become greater than his nature will allow." Frankenstein
"Movies are the enemy of the novel because they are replacing novels. Novelists shouldn’t write for the movies, unless, of course, they discover they’re no good at writing novels." - John Irving
"At this hour, officials of the Center For Disease Control are confirming the presence of anthrax spores at three new locations: my desk here at CBS Nightly News, my basement weight room, and my breakfast nook. Right now, individuals known to have worked at or visited these locations are being tested for anthrax, and at the moment we have any details we’ll pass them along to you.
Hold on. [ presses earpiece ] Alright. This just in. CBS News now comfirming that I.. have.. anthrax."
"...anthrax or no anthrax, I’m gonna stay right here to bring you any new developments as soon as we get them."
Dan, then goes on to report that several other well known people have Anthrax and/or other diseases & sicknesses... Wolf Blitzer was bitten by a squirrel that had rabies... & the entire cast of “Friends” has head lice!
At the end of the report, Dan announces:
"This just in: CBS is now confirming that none of the people we have reported tonight as having anthrax actually have anthrax. I repeat: nobody has anthrax. No, wait. I.. still.. have anthrax. But I’m not going anywhere, and you can bet that when more details become available, I’ll be right here to bring them to you."
You could use just about any sketch from the episode that Richard Pryor hosted in 1975. How bout Pryor and Belushi as dueling Samarai? Or the hilarious Exorcist spoof (the bed is on my foot.....)?
Maybe the greatest one-time hosting job in SNL history.