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Post by stefancrosscoe on Sept 17, 2020 12:27:09 GMT
Nail Gun Massacre (1985) by Bill Leslie and Terry Lofton "Do you remember when you could sit outside and not worry about the mosquitoes and the killers?" The police are about to get their hands full, when all of a sudden, a small town is starting to run out of construction workers. And where it all seems to lead back towards a brutal gang rape a while ago, and where it becomes pretty soon clear that the killer is out to put the final nail in the coffin to all of those involved.I tried to look for it by using the search function, but all I could come up with was either completely blank or a huge list of slasher titles, but not a thread or topic about the film itself, so I decided to start one up instead. Anyway, I have already seen this one from years ago, through a pretty solid Synapse Films (2004) DVD edition, which comes with quite a hilarious booklet and also some bonus features as well. I guess this kind of entertainment belongs further down in the trashy VHS horror bin, that I guess came as a natural result of the newly video format, but also that it hang onto the slasher hype, which was probably still going strong. However, I must say that the people involved have to get their fair share of credits, as it is really a very creative and rather hilarious way of selling your product out to the movie going masses, and beside a really cool movie title, you get eye catching and ridiculous taglines such as: "A Very Penetrating Story!"
"Who will get nailed next?"and of course: "Forget about that guy with the chainsaw. And start worrying about the deranged Nail Gun Killer!"The film is pretty much a cheaper than the "ordinary" b-movie slashers of that era, but is done with lots of heart and love for this genre (or so I like to believe) and is played and acted out more like a parody/comedy than ever coming close to a "scary" horror movie. The opening shot is of a gang rape, which is so over-the-top that (probably not a very nice way of describing such a terrible act) but you have bunch of stereotypical hilbillies and rednecks who even throwns in a few: "JIIIIIIII-HAAAAAA" underway, and then all of a sudden (without any further explanation) we are thrown into several laughable and awfully "acted" out murder scenes, where this killer who seems to switch from looking like a small teenage boy then suddenly towards a grown up female, and always have a few one-liners to throw along with the many killings. We end up getting stuff like, when one of the future victims is standing with his back against the killer, without any worries at all, just trying to do his personal business in the woods, and says something like: "Hold on, Mark. You want me to piss on you?"
And then he suddenly turns and ends up pissing all over the foot of the killer, who then quickly responds with: "Well, you just pissed me off!"  And I guess that "random" scenes like that, is why this movie still seems to be quite such a trashy 80s VHS sleaze favorite for many horror and slasher fans, as there is just a certain amount of light hearted and very charming (of course, it helps if one is rather fond of this kind of movies) comedy and entertainment to be seen and certainly heard throughout the movie. Hell, even old grandmas are getting into the hilarious one-liner action as well. And speaking of heard, one of the funniest things about the whole journey, is of course the "incredible" yet hilarious cheesy soundtrack, which had me lauging like crazy several times over, and even when I think of it right now, I have trouble holding a straight face, and it is such a great and "evil" piece of music, where my favorite part has to be when it goes way beyond with some growls and moans or whatever you might call it: "Miiiiiiiiooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh-mooooooooaaaaaah-MOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAH"This, and of course a rather impressive and nice portion of some classic 80s slasher "random" T&As, thrown around, here and there. Makes it also a very pleasant movie to watch as well, and again, it comes with some incredible funny one-liners, from specially some of the lovely ladies. All in all, this is nowhere near being a "great" or even "good" slasher film, but it is enjoyable for what it is, and that is a very cheesy and sleazy b-movie that of course never takes it self seriously (I hope) but is made up by a very small budget, and by people who possibly had a much bigger love for this kind of entertainment, and I ended up having a pretty damn good time. Watching it all by myself, well, I think this is one of those who might surely benefit of seeing it with people who have a similar taste for trashy films, maybe not all sober, and just have a good time, laughing and enjoying all the stupid and hilarious stuff that takes place.
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Post by Captain Spencer on Sept 17, 2020 19:53:59 GMT
Nail Gun Massacre (1985) by Bill Leslie and Terry Lofton "Do you remember when you could sit outside and not worry about the mosquitoes and the killers?" The police are about to get their hands full, when all of a sudden, a small town is starting to run out of construction workers. And where it all seems to lead back towards a brutal gang rape a while ago, and where it becomes pretty soon clear that the killer is out to put the final nail in the coffin to all of those involved.I tried to look for it by using the search function, but all I could come up with was either completely blank or a huge list of slasher titles, but not a thread or topic about the film itself, so I decided to start one up instead. Anyway, I have already seen this one from years ago, through a pretty solid Synapse Films (2004) DVD edition, which comes with quite a hilarious booklet and also some bonus features as well. I guess this kind of entertainment belongs further down in the trashy VHS horror bin, that I guess came as a natural result of the newly video format, but also that it hang onto the slasher hype, which was probably still going strong. However, I must say that the people involved have to get their fair share of credits, as it is really a very creative and rather hilarious way of selling your product out to the movie going masses, and beside a really cool movie title, you get eye catching and ridiculous taglines such as: "A Very Penetrating Story!"
"Who will get nailed next?"and of course: "Forget about that guy with the chainsaw. And start worrying about the deranged Nail Gun Killer!"The film is pretty much a cheaper than the "ordinary" b-movie slashers of that era, but is done with lots of heart and love for this genre (or so I like to believe) and is played and acted out more like a parody/comedy than ever coming close to a "scary" horror movie. The opening shot is of a gang rape, which is so over-the-top that (probably not a very nice way of describing such a terrible act) but you have bunch of stereotypical hilbillies and rednecks who even throwns in a few: "JIIIIIIII-HAAAAAA" underway, and then all of a sudden (without any further explanation) we are thrown into several laughable and awfully "acted" out murder scenes, where this killer who seems to switch from looking like a small teenage boy then suddenly towards a grown up female, and always have a few one-liners to throw along with the many killings. We end up getting stuff like, when one of the future victims is standing with his back against the killer, without any worries at all, just trying to do his personal business in the woods, and says something like: "Hold on, Mark. You want me to piss on you?"
And then he suddenly turns and ends up pissing all over the foot of the killer, who then quickly responds with: "Well, you just pissed me off!" And I guess that "random" scenes like that, is why this movie still seems to be quite such a trashy 80s VHS sleaze favorite for many horror and slasher fans, as there is just a certain amount of light hearted and very charming (of course, it helps if one is rather fond of this kind of movies) comedy and entertainment to be seen and certainly heard throughout the movie. Hell, even old grandmas are getting into the hilarious one-liner action as well. And speaking of heard, one of the funniest things about the whole journey, is of course the "incredible" yet hilarious cheesy soundtrack, which had me lauging like crazy several times over, and even when I think of it right now, I have trouble holding a straight face, and it is such a great and "evil" piece of music, where my favorite part has to be when it goes way beyond with some growls and moans or whatever you might call it: "Miiiiiiiiooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh-mooooooooaaaaaah-MOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAH"This, and of course a rather impressive and nice portion of some classic 80s slasher "random" T&As, thrown around, here and there. Makes it also a very pleasant movie to watch as well, and again, it comes with some incredible funny one-liners, from specially some of the lovely ladies. All in all, this is nowhere near being a "great" or even "good" slasher film, but it is enjoyable for what it is, and that is a very cheesy and sleazy b-movie that of course never takes it self seriously (I hope) but is made up by a very small budget, and by people who possibly had a much bigger love for this kind of entertainment, and I ended up having a pretty damn good time. Watching it all by myself, well, I think this is one of those who might surely benefit of seeing it with people who have a similar taste for trashy films, maybe not all sober, and just have a good time, laughing and enjoying all the stupid and hilarious stuff that takes place. Never heard of this one, but I just might check it out. Looks like there's plenty of camp value to be had. The full movie is currently on YouTube (in English but with Spanish subtitles). Also looks like a nice companion piece to The Toolbox Murders (1978).
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Post by FridayOnElmStreet on Sept 17, 2020 23:41:16 GMT
Cheesy but I liked it.
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Sept 18, 2020 15:19:03 GMT
Never heard of this one, but I just might check it out. Looks like there's plenty of camp value to be had. The full movie is currently on YouTube (in English but with Spanish subtitles). Also looks like a nice companion piece to The Toolbox Murders (1978). Oh yeah, it sure is filled with lots of campy material, and one I surely suspect might be even more "rewarding" for each view. That is of course if one manage to get through the film the first time, and actually enjoy it for what is. I was not aware that the whole were put out on Youtube, looks like the quality is actually slightly better than my 2004 Synapse Films DVD. Yeah, The Toolbox Murders might not be a bad idea, especially if one is up for two horror "classics", for the price of none.  
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Post by stefancrosscoe on Sept 18, 2020 15:55:41 GMT
Speaking of the 2004 DVD version, I did the "mistake" of first reading and laughing at all the hilarious stuff that you could "learn" from watching the film through the highly informative booklet that featured. However, I decided to put the all of the Twenty Things I Learned From Watching Nail Gun Massacre in the spoiler function, as it might spoil some of the fun for those who have not seen it. 01. If you dress up in standard-issue Army camouflage, you will be invisible to human eyes even if you are standing only a few feet in front of them with a big yellow oxygen tank on you back.
02. It is possible to die quickly from a few nails embedded in your hands and shoulders, even if no major arteries or organs are injured in the process.
03. Apparently if you are a rampaging psycho killer it is possible to adjust your height by nearly a foot between murders or even during the same murder.
04. If you rig a pneumatic nail gun just right it will fire nails at such a ferocious velocity that they won't even appear to be coming out of the gun at all.
05. If you leave a session of lovemaking with your ubelievably hot girlfriend with some of the most fantastic breasts in human history so you can go out and "chop wood" with your best buddy, you are clearly gay.
06. If you are shot in the balls by a nail gun, you most likely deserve it.
07. When a series of brutal slayings is occuring in your town, the local sheriff should not call federal authorities, or any else for that matter, to help because that would be too easy.
08. Also, if you are the sheriff investigating these vicious crimes, always make sure to spend a lot of time driving about town drinking coffee and stuffing your face with food.
09. If you are a victim of a nail gun attack and you fall onto an open and hot barbeque grill, make sure after you die to do everything you can to keep your balance on the grill, including pushing yourself away from a pool gate post-mortem.
10. A sheriff's badge can switch from one side of his uniform to other seemingly at will.
11. A nail gun has the power to pin a man's hands to the hard asphalt of a Texas highway with such force that the man has no chance of freeing himself.
12. If you find the body of a brually butchered woman lying near a storefront in your downtown area, leave it there whilst you tend to other business. If someone asks you to remove it, say something like "Just leave her there, she ain't goin' nowhere."
13. Two construction workers who spend their free time having live nail gun fights with each other should probably be fired...maybe even killed for the safety of those around them.
14. When killing off local citizens, make sure to make savage wisecracks about their deaths right before they expire. That way, if the nails fail to kill them, the jokes will.
15. If your boyfriend or sexual partner is executed on the hood of your car, by all means, run defenselessly towards the killer while topless rather than running in the opposite direction towards safety or possible rescue.
16. If you are standing over the broken body of the killer you've been pursuing and you gratefully remark that "at least the killins' over" only to have the sheriff add "Is it? Is it over?", you should most likely shoot yourself or move to another town immediately.
17. If you are the town doctor, it will be up to you to do most of the heavy lifting in regards to detective work (i.e. calling for outside help) as the sheriff will be too busy abiding by Rule #7 and using up his time with Rule #8.
18. When you have determined who the most likely suspects are in the killings around town, make sure you don't actually arrest them or question them, but continue to have arguments about your theories while the gory killings continue.
19. If you are a killer on the run from the law, make sure to drive your vehicle into the one area of town that offers you no hope of escape. It also helps to run onto a piece of construction equipment that only offers one possible exit, which invovles a thirty foot plunge to the ground.
20. When the murders have been solved, you can walk off into the sunset with a young woman, for no apparent reason, in the middle of nowhere, and in the opposite direction from where your car is parked. |
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Post by forca84 on Sept 18, 2020 19:53:37 GMT
Nail Gun Massacre (1985) by Bill Leslie and Terry Lofton "Do you remember when you could sit outside and not worry about the mosquitoes and the killers?" The police are about to get their hands full, when all of a sudden, a small town is starting to run out of construction workers. And where it all seems to lead back towards a brutal gang rape a while ago, and where it becomes pretty soon clear that the killer is out to put the final nail in the coffin to all of those involved.I tried to look for it by using the search function, but all I could come up with was either completely blank or a huge list of slasher titles, but not a thread or topic about the film itself, so I decided to start one up instead. Anyway, I have already seen this one from years ago, through a pretty solid Synapse Films (2004) DVD edition, which comes with quite a hilarious booklet and also some bonus features as well. I guess this kind of entertainment belongs further down in the trashy VHS horror bin, that I guess came as a natural result of the newly video format, but also that it hang onto the slasher hype, which was probably still going strong. However, I must say that the people involved have to get their fair share of credits, as it is really a very creative and rather hilarious way of selling your product out to the movie going masses, and beside a really cool movie title, you get eye catching and ridiculous taglines such as: "A Very Penetrating Story!"
"Who will get nailed next?"and of course: "Forget about that guy with the chainsaw. And start worrying about the deranged Nail Gun Killer!"The film is pretty much a cheaper than the "ordinary" b-movie slashers of that era, but is done with lots of heart and love for this genre (or so I like to believe) and is played and acted out more like a parody/comedy than ever coming close to a "scary" horror movie. The opening shot is of a gang rape, which is so over-the-top that (probably not a very nice way of describing such a terrible act) but you have bunch of stereotypical hilbillies and rednecks who even throwns in a few: "JIIIIIIII-HAAAAAA" underway, and then all of a sudden (without any further explanation) we are thrown into several laughable and awfully "acted" out murder scenes, where this killer who seems to switch from looking like a small teenage boy then suddenly towards a grown up female, and always have a few one-liners to throw along with the many killings. We end up getting stuff like, when one of the future victims is standing with his back against the killer, without any worries at all, just trying to do his personal business in the woods, and says something like: "Hold on, Mark. You want me to piss on you?"
And then he suddenly turns and ends up pissing all over the foot of the killer, who then quickly responds with: "Well, you just pissed me off!" And I guess that "random" scenes like that, is why this movie still seems to be quite such a trashy 80s VHS sleaze favorite for many horror and slasher fans, as there is just a certain amount of light hearted and very charming (of course, it helps if one is rather fond of this kind of movies) comedy and entertainment to be seen and certainly heard throughout the movie. Hell, even old grandmas are getting into the hilarious one-liner action as well. And speaking of heard, one of the funniest things about the whole journey, is of course the "incredible" yet hilarious cheesy soundtrack, which had me lauging like crazy several times over, and even when I think of it right now, I have trouble holding a straight face, and it is such a great and "evil" piece of music, where my favorite part has to be when it goes way beyond with some growls and moans or whatever you might call it: "Miiiiiiiiooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh-mooooooooaaaaaah-MOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAH"This, and of course a rather impressive and nice portion of some classic 80s slasher "random" T&As, thrown around, here and there. Makes it also a very pleasant movie to watch as well, and again, it comes with some incredible funny one-liners, from specially some of the lovely ladies. All in all, this is nowhere near being a "great" or even "good" slasher film, but it is enjoyable for what it is, and that is a very cheesy and sleazy b-movie that of course never takes it self seriously (I hope) but is made up by a very small budget, and by people who possibly had a much bigger love for this kind of entertainment, and I ended up having a pretty damn good time. Watching it all by myself, well, I think this is one of those who might surely benefit of seeing it with people who have a similar taste for trashy films, maybe not all sober, and just have a good time, laughing and enjoying all the stupid and hilarious stuff that takes place. Never heard of this one, but I just might check it out. Looks like there's plenty of camp value to be had. The full movie is currently on YouTube (in English but with Spanish subtitles). Also looks like a nice companion piece to The Toolbox Murders (1978). Make it a triple feature with "The Driller Killer". |
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Post by Prime etc. on Sept 18, 2020 21:08:28 GMT
I am waiting for "The Glue Gun Assassin."
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