My review/MEGA RANT on August Underground (2001) Feb 17, 2021 21:42:07 GMT
Post by robocop1982 on Feb 17, 2021 21:42:07 GMT
What the hell was that? this is not even a movie, it's a pointless affair! it's not disturbing like the hype says, it's not even that shocking, or scary because there's no story to it or plot or character development.
Basically it's about some killer fatass and his annoying chuckling friend whom i like to call giggle-twat because he keeps giggling every 5 minutes in this movie. They go around making home movies even snuff movies of people they kidnap to murder and torture and that's just about it.
Some people call this early "torture porn" but the only thing it's true about it as that it's torture to sit through this piece of shit movie. I get that they are trying to make a fake snuff movie like if you found a VHS somewhere and you played it and see what's on it. It's not a movie, it's a waste of time and resources and film.
It's not a movie, it's just a shot on video amateurish beyond belief piece of shit with no story, no characters and no nothing. After hearing the hype of that Last House on Dead End Street guy saying "Citizen Kane of horror movies ", my ass it is. "uncomfortable disturbing and intense"-Filmthreat, yeah right. It doesn't have a story as the "killers" is a nameless couple of guys whom i like to call killer fatass and a giggletwat with an annoying laugh as he keeps giggling as both characters were beyond obnixious and annoying as fuck that i wanted to use a magic ticket from Last Action Hero to go in the screen and beat them with a crowbar.
Killer fatass i don't buy as an overpowering presence or scary, he and Giggletwat seem not very convincing as serial killers who are scary and being intimidating killers. They seem more like drunk college students. Now Joe Spinell and Michael Rooker i can definitely buy as actually scary killers on film who have a presence and are intimidating killers who you can fear.
It wasn't even that disturbing or intense, it's quite tame actually and wasn't even that gory. As it's just cut up body parts plus melted chocolate for shit when i've seen better low budget horror films with make up effects like Maniac, Deadly Spawn, Evil Dead, Re-Animator and all. The film fails at being disturbing/scary because there's no story and movies require a story as there is no story or plot in this movie. What's the point of making a fake snuff movie? there is no point, it's just a pointless movie. Shakey cam with horrible direction with pointless padding like visiting a slaughterhouse, miniature town, getting a tattoo, harassing a store clerk which feels too long etc. with no pace as the film is beyond boring. So boring it hurt to watch as i felt like putting a bullet in my head watching this worthless garbage. I cannot believe this piece of shit has a fanbase, but hey, to each their own.
Maniac and Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer are superior films and are real movies that are low budget independent horror films done right. The killers in those movies are actually scary and disturbing as you can buy Rooker/Spinell as killers, actual good direction who know their shit, quality cinematography, good lighting, good performances, actual good use of camera work and all. Even Fun (1994) is more disturbing and unnerving than this piece of shit movie. Even Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974 is more unnerving and convincing than this garbage.
August Underground is amateurish beyond belief and i don't know why it costed two thousand dollars to make, where did that money go, the movie looked like it costed 100 bucks to make, did the director use the two thousand dollars into the director's pockets so he can use it for vacation money or what? atrocious acting too. even the attempts at being disturbing are pathetic like say the scene where fatass killer makes a couple sniff their own asses, oh i'm shaking in my boots and my nerves are rattled, yeh right, it's laughable beyond point.
There's also a scene that has goat balls shown and this movie is definitely a pair of castrated rotten goat balls from a slaughterhouse, it's that bad of a movie. No score and some shitty metal music that would make the director cream his pants, This flaming dumpster fire of a movie was only 78 minutes but felt like 4 hours as the film has no plot, no story, no characters, no feeling shocking moments, no acting, non-existent direction, wasn't that disturbing or gory like hype said, horrible camera work that doesn't feel cinematic, no pace, boring as hell, annoying characters and this movie doesn't give you anything as it gives you nothing, absolutely nothing, nothing, NOTHING.
My rating: It doesn't deserve anything from me, it's a giant anus of a movie and soooo bad i wanna bury it in the ground as that's where this shitpile belongs, in the ground. It's the biggest waste of my time as it was a waste of resources, waste of time, waste of film and all. It's the most pointless movie i've seen and worst film i've ever seen. I felt like hanging myself after watching this movie.
Zero stars, a big fat zero. Fuck this piece of shit.