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Post by Admin on Apr 22, 2021 20:58:21 GMT
No offense, but if you have BPD, it's only a matter of time before your partner disagrees if he doesn't already. Ebony only has traits, and she's put a lot of work into therapy. She's maintained the same job and is even getting a master's degree. I'd say her future is bright because she's a survivor and not a victim. It sounds like you've had some up-close and personal experience with a BPD. It's unfair to judge everyone by that experience. Two people can have the same psychiatric diagnosis but very different outcomes. All I know about Ebony is what I've seen her write on this forum - which isn't much more than short comments about her boyfriend's body hair or whatever - and I don't always agree with every diagnosis. Speaking from my own experiences, I'd say that BPD is often just used as a generic, blanket diagnosis when they can't pinpoint something else, and I'm not saying that isn't the case with Ebony. But if she's someone who will knee-jerk blame onto someone else for something she clearly did on her own (for example), then my advice remains the same. Some red flags should never be ignored.
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Post by gameboy on Apr 22, 2021 21:24:31 GMT
Borderline to what? The whole concept is rather specious.
Personalities just are, they exist or they don't, they don't hover on a border.
Reject that over conceptualized theoretical hokum and you'll be free. Many mental health professionals call it a misnomer. It doesn't mean a literal borderline as if someone with BPD is teetering between having and not having a disorder. It is a so-called personality disorder, and it's name is Borderline. But if you must think of it that way, think of it as perpetually being on the borderline between guilt and denial. A word of advice to anyone considering a relationship with BPD: Don't. Run as fast as you can to put as much distance between you and them as humanly possible and never look back. I feel the same way about bipolar. I think often it's just an excuse for some idiot who lacks the discipline to be consistent, waffling back and forth allover the place.
But my main objection is not that "Borderline" implies they're forever teetering on the brink. It sounds as if they're saying their personality is not full and legitimate like the rest of us.
I believe personalities are what they are, you like them or you hate them. But don't claim they're not as centered as yours. And since when do psychiatrists treat personalities anyway? I thought their job was to treat mental illness?
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Post by Admin on Apr 22, 2021 21:42:35 GMT
Many mental health professionals call it a misnomer. It doesn't mean a literal borderline as if someone with BPD is teetering between having and not having a disorder. It is a so-called personality disorder, and it's name is Borderline. But if you must think of it that way, think of it as perpetually being on the borderline between guilt and denial. A word of advice to anyone considering a relationship with BPD: Don't. Run as fast as you can to put as much distance between you and them as humanly possible and never look back. I feel the same way about bipolar. I think often it's just an excuse for some idiot who lacks the discipline to be consistent, waffling back and forth allover the place. But my main objection is not that "Borderline" implies they're forever teetering on the brink. It sounds as if they're saying their personality is not full and legitimate like the rest of us.
I believe personalities are what they are, you like them or you hate them. But don't claim they're not as centered as yours. And since when do psychiatrists treat personalities anyway? I thought their job was to treat mental illness?
Yeah, I have similar issues with the whole "personality disorder" thing, but if there's a problem, then there's a problem and it doesn't matter what we call it. Regarding BPD, the problem isn't the aversion to feeling shame. No one wants to feel that. The problem is the internal denial being used as a crutch to not feel guilt by putting the blame on someone for making you feel that way, then convincing yourself that it's the truth. Even that on its own isn't a big game-changer; it's the actions they take based on what they believe to be true. That's where it becomes a problem for everyone involved. Here's an actual, real world example of BPD in action: "Why are you so mad at me?" - "Because you stole all my money." "Why do you keep bringing that up? Do you want me to feel bad about myself? You're evil. Why are you doing this to me?" Here's another: "I hate you and I wish you were dead. Get out of my life. I never want to see you again." - "Are you serious?" "Why are you still talking to me?! GTFO!!!!" Then after he leaves: "He left me!" *sob* "I can't believe he did this to me." So yeah, it's a problem. Call it what you will.
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Post by Stammerhead on Apr 23, 2021 14:20:53 GMT
Borderline to what? The whole concept is rather specious.
Personalities just are, they exist or they don't, they don't hover on a border.
Reject that over conceptualized theoretical hokum and you'll be free. Many mental health professionals call it a misnomer. It doesn't mean a literal borderline as if someone with BPD is teetering between having and not having a disorder. It is a so-called personality disorder, and it's name is Borderline. But if you must think of it that way, think of it as perpetually being on the borderline between guilt and denial. A word of advice to anyone considering a relationship with BPD: Don't. Run as fast as you can to put as much distance between you and them as humanly possible and never look back. I also read it the wrong way so perhaps it is a name that could do with a rethink. I wonder if what Ebony saw was an observation or a diagnosis.
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Post by ebony on Apr 23, 2021 15:42:55 GMT
I feel the same way about bipolar. I think often it's just an excuse for some idiot who lacks the discipline to be consistent, waffling back and forth allover the place. But my main objection is not that "Borderline" implies they're forever teetering on the brink. It sounds as if they're saying their personality is not full and legitimate like the rest of us.
I believe personalities are what they are, you like them or you hate them. But don't claim they're not as centered as yours. And since when do psychiatrists treat personalities anyway? I thought their job was to treat mental illness?
Yeah, I have similar issues with the whole "personality disorder" thing, but if there's a problem, then there's a problem and it doesn't matter what we call it. Regarding BPD, the problem isn't the aversion to feeling shame. No one wants to feel that. The problem is the internal denial being used as a crutch to not feel guilt by putting the blame on someone for making you feel that way, then convincing yourself that it's the truth. Even that on its own isn't a big game-changer; it's the actions they take based on what they believe to be true. That's where it becomes a problem for everyone involved. Here's an actual, real world example of BPD in action: "Why are you so mad at me?" - "Because you stole all my money." "Why do you keep bringing that up? Do you want me to feel bad about myself? You're evil. Why are you doing this to me?" Here's another: "I hate you and I wish you were dead. Get out of my life. I never want to see you again." - "Are you serious?" "Why are you still talking to me?! GTFO!!!!" Then after he leaves: "He left me!" *sob* "I can't believe he did this to me." So yeah, it's a problem. Call it what you will. That sounds more like my bipolar ex than me.
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Post by lenlenlen1 on Sept 22, 2021 20:35:54 GMT
Ebony, what I'm hearing is that you're already seeing a doctor. Am I right?
If so, you're already doing what you need to be doing. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, that's great! Good on you. Just listen to your doctor and you'll be alright!
We love you and all your cra... uh... I mean whacky stories!
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monicah
Freshman
@monicah
Posts: 75
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Post by monicah on Sept 23, 2021 18:21:05 GMT
Same girl same
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monicah
Freshman
@monicah
Posts: 75
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Post by monicah on Sept 23, 2021 18:34:55 GMT
Here are the 9 symptoms of bpd that someone has to have at least 7 to at least be considered to have it.
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable relationships.
3. Unclear or shifting self-image
4. Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors
5. Self-harm.
6. Extreme emotional swings
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
8. Explosive anger
9. Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality
I have all 9 of them
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