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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 12, 2021 23:15:59 GMT
A mechanic forms an emotional attachment, thinks he's gonna lose the car, he panics, he does something rash. I'm gonna ask you some personal questions. I'm sorry if I touch a nerve, but I think it'll help with the case. Had you been taking good care of the car?
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Post by millar70 on Jul 12, 2021 23:24:15 GMT
Elaine I can see not saying hello. She's very, what's the word, supercilious. So, Dad..... How could Jerry NOT SAY HELLO?  |
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 12, 2021 23:42:18 GMT
That was our babka.
You can't beat a babka.
We had that babka!
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on Jul 12, 2021 23:46:21 GMT
Hey, how come people don't have dip for dinner? Why is it only a snack? Why can't it be a meal, you know? I don't understand stuff like that!
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 12, 2021 23:54:17 GMT
What happened to the pact? We were both gonna change. We shook hands on a pact. Did you not shake my hand on it uh?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 13, 2021 0:38:42 GMT
Elaine: George, we can’t show up to someone’s house with Ring Dings and Pepsi.
George: I’ve got news for you. I show up with Ring Dings and Pepsi, I become the biggest hit of the party. People will be coming up to me, “just between you and me, I’m really excited about the Ring Dings and Pepsi.
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 13, 2021 0:39:40 GMT
Soup's not a meal. You're supposed to buy me a meal.
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Post by millar70 on Jul 13, 2021 0:45:48 GMT
How long does it take to find a bra? What's going on up there?? You ask me to find a pair of underwear, and I'm back in two seconds.
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 13, 2021 0:57:33 GMT
My fault? Your Nana is missing because she's been passing those bum checks all over town and she finally pissed off the wrong people.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 13, 2021 2:09:09 GMT
George: All right, so let me ask you a question. Who was the man in the cape?
Frank: He was my lawyer.
George: Your lawyer wears a cape?
Frank: Yeah. So what?
George: Who wears a cape?
Frank: He's very independent. He doesn't follow the trends.
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 13, 2021 3:04:50 GMT
All right, you know she's got that laugh. What did you say? It's like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer?
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Post by millar70 on Jul 13, 2021 5:53:01 GMT
Did you know that when I was a young man, I had a sssssilver dollar collection?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 13, 2021 6:22:21 GMT
George: Bosomy?
Estelle: Bosomy? You wanna know if your grandmother was bosomy?!
George: No, I was just wondering. The information could be relevant.
Estelle: Where do you get your genes from?!
George: That's what I'd like to know.
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Post by millar70 on Jul 13, 2021 19:33:18 GMT
Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone, and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are till the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably.....happy birthday? No such thing. ☹☹☹
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 13, 2021 20:51:13 GMT
Kramer: Frank, you were a boy too. And it was war. It was a crazy time for
everyone.
Frank: Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well
he went home alright, with a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet. Had to
sit him on a cork the eighteen-hour flight home!
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 13, 2021 21:09:40 GMT
Oh damn. They changed the cable stations again.. just when I finally memorized them.
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 13, 2021 21:11:32 GMT
Kramer, that Kramer! I’m just about to leave, he calls me up. He begs me to sit in his car for two minutes so he can pick up these birds He said he’d drive me here right after.
So, I'm sitting in his car twenty minutes! He doesn’t come down. I'm freezing. Then a cop comes by, tells me to get out of the car. He’s a city marshal. He’s towing the car away. Kramer owes thousands of dollars in back tickets. He was going to tow it with me in the car!
So they tow the car. Now, I'm standing outside, and I'm freezing, but I can't leave because I have to tell him what happened to the car. So he finally comes down with his giant cage filled with doves. He said he was getting special instructions, that each dove has a different diet.
So we’re wandering around trying to get a cab, when two of these doves fly out! Now we’re running down the street after these doves. I almost got hit by a bus!
How’s everything going over here?
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Post by millar70 on Jul 13, 2021 22:14:48 GMT
As far as I can tell, your entire enterprise consists of nothing more than a solitary man in a messy apartment that may or may not contain a chicken.
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 13, 2021 22:59:59 GMT
Mom and Pop aren't even a Mom and Pop?!
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Post by HumanFundRecipient on Jul 14, 2021 0:11:51 GMT
I see many dogs on my mail route. I'll bet there's not one type of mutt or mongrel I haven't run across. If you ask me, they have no business living among us! VILE USELESS BEASTS...
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