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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 14, 2021 0:55:16 GMT
I have to tell you, it's exactly what this organization needed. We wanna look to the future, we gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man, with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan. Ah, what d'you make of that? Hey, check this out. Lou Gehrig's pants. Not a bad fit. Hey, you don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you? Uh, I better take 'em off. I'm too important to this team. Big Stein can't be flopping and twitching.
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Post by nutsberryfarm 🏜 on Jul 14, 2021 1:22:25 GMT
Looks like what you really need is a decent desk for writing your skits.
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 14, 2021 2:19:31 GMT
Yeah except you don't really have any black friends. Outside of us, you don't have any white friends either.
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 14, 2021 2:34:49 GMT
I didn't mean anything by it. I don't even know L. Ron Hubbard! I didn't know you were with that group.
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 14, 2021 2:45:55 GMT
...if he thinks that that baby's breathtaking, then who's not breathtaking?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 14, 2021 3:00:55 GMT
Frank: Getting an eye job like some Manhattanite, huh?
Estelle: Well, it's already working. Kramer made a pass at me.
Frank: Kramer made a pass at you? You're crazy.
Estelle: I'm not crazy. He stopped short and made a grab.
Frank: He stopped short? That's my move. I'm gonna kill him!
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 14, 2021 3:22:39 GMT
I lived with him for forty years, I never saw him trying on my underwear. As soon as he leaves the house, he turns into J. Edgar Hoover!
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Post by millar70 on Jul 14, 2021 4:23:55 GMT
You see in Little Jerry Seinfeld the future you once had! Just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been don't mean that Little Jerry Seinfeld will be a never-was!!!
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 14, 2021 12:17:55 GMT
ESTELLE: Georgie what were you doing poking around the attic last night?
GEORGE: I-I wasn't in the attic.
ESTELLE: I heard noise.
GEORGE: Maybe it was a mouse.
FRANK: OK that's it! We're moving!
GEORGE: What?
FRANK: I will not tolerate infestation.
GEORGE: You haven't even seen one!
FRANK: Don't you understand the very thought, the very idea, I'll never be comfortable again.
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 14, 2021 15:38:48 GMT
It was like my own personal crying game!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 14, 2021 22:21:21 GMT
George: Oh, hey, hey, hey! That's great! That's very nice! You know, we've been waiting twenty minutes for you people! What do you think, you're Mussolini?!
Man: Back off, Puff Ball, it's not my car!
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 14, 2021 22:26:12 GMT
Don't you see? Women like that are like members of a secret tribe living in a forbidden city. People like me have not been inside in thousands of years.
But with this, it's like I've already been with one of her own! My hand's been stamped! I come and go as I please!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 14, 2021 22:35:07 GMT
ESTELLE: Georgie what were you doing poking around the attic last night? GEORGE: I-I wasn't in the attic. ESTELLE: I heard noise. GEORGE: Maybe it was a mouse. FRANK: OK that's it! We're moving! GEORGE: What? FRANK: I will not tolerate infestation. GEORGE: You haven't even seen one! FRANK: Don't you understand the very thought, the very idea, I'll never be comfortable again. All right Frank that's enough
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Post by Rufus-T on Jul 14, 2021 22:59:55 GMT
Give my best to Hinckley.
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Post by millar70 on Jul 14, 2021 23:12:06 GMT
You left your door open.
I know, I like to encourage intruders.
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 14, 2021 23:25:44 GMT
Haven't you done enough already?
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 15, 2021 3:23:40 GMT
Cop: Did Jane sleep with Michael again?
Jerry: … Yes! That stupid idiot! He left her for Kimberly, he slept with her sister! He tricked her into giving him half her business, and then she goes ahead and sleeps with him again! I mean she's crazy! How could she do something like that? Oh that Jane, she makes me so mad!
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Post by NJtoTX on Jul 15, 2021 3:44:23 GMT
I thought you liked to laugh. I thought you were happy-go-lucky.
No, no, no, I'm not happy, I'm not lucky, and I don't go. If anything I'm sad-stop-unlucky.
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Post by millar70 on Jul 15, 2021 4:33:45 GMT
This fruit isn't for you.
Wait, what are you talking about?
You think I don't know? Mangoes, plantains, plums with the red on the inside. That's Kramer!!!
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Post by thebayharborbutcher on Jul 15, 2021 18:56:05 GMT
JERRY: Yeah, yeah, Well, you really got bald there, didn't you?
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah.
JERRY: You really used to have a think full head of hair.
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess I started losing it when I was about twenty-eight right around the time I made my first million. You know what they say. The first million is the hardest one.
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