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Post by langdona on Aug 22, 2021 22:35:47 GMT
Pathetic HA
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Post by divtal on Aug 22, 2021 22:49:31 GMT
I suppose that's true ... on many fronts. However, I think that a little context would be in order.
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Post by Catman 猫的主人 on Aug 22, 2021 23:19:59 GMT
If they can't find the control between the couch cushions, they can always buy a new one on Amazon.
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Post by langdona on Aug 22, 2021 23:47:03 GMT
I suppose that's true ... on many fronts. However, I think that a little context would be in order. My parents are miserable. They clearly hate each other but stay married. I guess they're old now...so I guess that's why they stay together BUT I don't recall them ever liking each other. my dad, he likes to insult me when I point out concerning things in their lives. Example...My dad has health issues but still drinks a lot. As much as I'd like to distance myself from them...that's kind of hard... I do end up saying things they don't like hearing once in a while. I don't wanna take it personally when he or both them insult me but they know me...those things they say hurt. I've worked on myself, I have some success...I actually love my family LOL. So that makes it hurt less but idk why he has to be cruel towards me when I suggested he should see a doctor. Its just so telling of how miserable they both are. |
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Post by Stammerhead on Aug 23, 2021 0:30:22 GMT
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Post by Ass_E9 on Aug 23, 2021 0:44:10 GMT
"Pathetic am I, Mr. Bond? I am in control here, HA!"
"Oh, sh**."
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Post by Sarge on Aug 23, 2021 5:26:48 GMT
I suppose that's true ... on many fronts. However, I think that a little context would be in order. My parents are miserable. They clearly hate each other but stay married. I guess they're old now...so I guess that's why they stay together BUT I don't recall them ever liking each other. my dad, he likes to insult me when I point out concerning things in their lives. Example...My dad has health issues but still drinks a lot. As much as I'd like to distance myself from them...that's kind of hard... I do end up saying things they don't like hearing once in a while. I don't wanna take it personally when he or both them insult me but they know me...those things they say hurt. I've worked on myself, I have some success...I actually love my family LOL. So that makes it hurt less but idk why he has to be cruel towards me when I suggested he should see a doctor. Its just so telling of how miserable they both are.
Your father becomes defensive when you criticize him, or when he feels insecure, or vulnerable, ... just like everyone else. Kids struggle to see their parents as people and vice versa. Once, your parents loved one another and then something happened that you don't know about and it changed their relationship. Maybe they still wish they loved one another but can't go back. People get old, their body betrays them, they realize youth is gone, it's depressing. I used to get hurt, sleep it off and feel great the next day; now it takes days or weeks to heal and I hate it. Some things I saw coming, some I didn't; same for them. And maybe the things you say that hurt them, things they should hear; that goes both ways and you should hear what they are saying to you.
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Post by Feologild Oakes on Aug 23, 2021 5:31:27 GMT
I have complete control over how miserable i am.
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 23, 2021 18:49:07 GMT
Sounds like that is something to be angry about, or at least depressed about.
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 23, 2021 18:50:38 GMT
My parents are miserable. They clearly hate each other but stay married. I guess they're old now...so I guess that's why they stay together BUT I don't recall them ever liking each other. my dad, he likes to insult me when I point out concerning things in their lives. Example...My dad has health issues but still drinks a lot. As much as I'd like to distance myself from them...that's kind of hard... I do end up saying things they don't like hearing once in a while. I don't wanna take it personally when he or both them insult me but they know me...those things they say hurt. I've worked on myself, I have some success...I actually love my family LOL. So that makes it hurt less but idk why he has to be cruel towards me when I suggested he should see a doctor. Its just so telling of how miserable they both are.
Your father becomes defensive when you criticize him, or when he feels insecure, or vulnerable, ... just like everyone else. Kids struggle to see their parents as people and vice versa. Once, your parents loved one another and then something happened that you don't know about and it changed their relationship. Maybe they still wish they loved one another but can't go back. People get old, their body betrays them, they realize youth is gone, it's depressing. I used to get hurt, sleep it off and feel great the next day; now it takes days or weeks to heal and I hate it. Some things I saw coming, some I didn't; same for them. And maybe the things you say that hurt them, things they should hear; that goes both ways and you should hear what they are saying to you.
Great response. The first thing I thought about just based on the vague thread title and OP is slaves. They had/have no control and have every right to be angry about it. If they weren't angry and miserable they would have no incentive to try and change their situation.
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 23, 2021 18:58:11 GMT
I suppose that's true ... on many fronts. However, I think that a little context would be in order. My parents are miserable. They clearly hate each other but stay married. I guess they're old now...so I guess that's why they stay together BUT I don't recall them ever liking each other. my dad, he likes to insult me when I point out concerning things in their lives. Example...My dad has health issues but still drinks a lot. As much as I'd like to distance myself from them...that's kind of hard... I do end up saying things they don't like hearing once in a while. I don't wanna take it personally when he or both them insult me but they know me...those things they say hurt. I've worked on myself, I have some success...I actually love my family LOL. So that makes it hurt less but idk why he has to be cruel towards me when I suggested he should see a doctor. Its just so telling of how miserable they both are. Sounds like you are upset that you don't have control. You see that right?
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Post by langdona on Aug 26, 2021 4:10:36 GMT
Your father becomes defensive when you criticize him, or when he feels insecure, or vulnerable, ... just like everyone else. Kids struggle to see their parents as people and vice versa. Once, your parents loved one another and then something happened that you don't know about and it changed their relationship. Maybe they still wish they loved one another but can't go back. People get old, their body betrays them, they realize youth is gone, it's depressing. I used to get hurt, sleep it off and feel great the next day; now it takes days or weeks to heal and I hate it. Some things I saw coming, some I didn't; same for them. And maybe the things you say that hurt them, things they should hear; that goes both ways and you should hear what they are saying to you.
Great response. The first thing I thought about just based on the vague thread title and OP is slaves. They had/have no control and have every right to be angry about it. If they weren't angry and miserable they would have no incentive to try and change their situation. Yeah I see how slaves would be angry and that's justified. That's not what I was really getting at here though. Was thinking about how miserable people will sometimes project their unhappiness onto other people when they really don't deserve it. I don't think people have the right to insult others voicing concern just because they think that person is somehow controlling them. Its like an anti-vax person getting all angry and mean when someone says they should get the vaccine. They don't wanna be controlled. They probably feel lack of control in their lives in general and cling to something stupid like not taking the vaccine as an important statement of their personal liberty. Just an example |
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 26, 2021 4:21:59 GMT
Great response. The first thing I thought about just based on the vague thread title and OP is slaves. They had/have no control and have every right to be angry about it. If they weren't angry and miserable they would have no incentive to try and change their situation. Yeah I see how slaves would be angry and that's justified. That's not what I was really getting at here though. Was thinking about how miserable people will sometimes project their unhappiness onto other people when they really don't deserve it. I don't think people have the right to insult others voicing concern just because they think that person is somehow controlling them. Its like an anti-vax person getting all angry and mean when someone says they should get the vaccine. They don't wanna be controlled. They probably feel lack of control in their lives in general and cling to something stupid like not taking the vaccine as an important statement of their personal liberty. Just an example Everybody does it sometimes. Some people are worse than others. I am somewhere in the middle. I can be very mean when I am in a bad mood. Of course many miserable people project onto others. Sometimes it is because they want other people to be as miserable as them, because they are jealous that other people aren't miserable. 
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Post by langdona on Aug 26, 2021 4:28:28 GMT
Yeah I see how slaves would be angry and that's justified. That's not what I was really getting at here though. Was thinking about how miserable people will sometimes project their unhappiness onto other people when they really don't deserve it. I don't think people have the right to insult others voicing concern just because they think that person is somehow controlling them. Its like an anti-vax person getting all angry and mean when someone says they should get the vaccine. They don't wanna be controlled. They probably feel lack of control in their lives in general and cling to something stupid like not taking the vaccine as an important statement of their personal liberty. Just an example Everybody does it sometimes. Some people are worse than others. I am somewhere in the middle. I can be very mean when I am in a bad mood. Of course many miserable people project onto others. Sometimes it is because they want other people to be as miserable as them, because they are jealous that other people aren't miserable. Yeah for sure... as long as you are self aware though, you can keep those moments to a minimum and apologize. When its a trend becomes a problem  |
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 26, 2021 4:35:49 GMT
Great response. The first thing I thought about just based on the vague thread title and OP is slaves. They had/have no control and have every right to be angry about it. If they weren't angry and miserable they would have no incentive to try and change their situation. Yeah I see how slaves would be angry and that's justified. That's not what I was really getting at here though. Was thinking about how miserable people will sometimes project their unhappiness onto other people when they really don't deserve it. I don't think people have the right to insult others voicing concern just because they think that person is somehow controlling them. Its like an anti-vax person getting all angry and mean when someone says they should get the vaccine. They don't wanna be controlled. They probably feel lack of control in their lives in general and cling to something stupid like not taking the vaccine as an important statement of their personal liberty. Just an example I'm going to add more because I love exploring this type of psychological stuff, in part because I am in a constant battle with my own emotions. Clinical depression, extreme social anxiety, rage issues etc. Talking about this stuff and thinking about it can cause you to assess yourself better. Most people don't want to think about it too much. It is too painful for some people I think. You criticizing your parents is pointing out their flaws and forcing them to think about their own miserable situation. That is the more likely reason that your father insults you, because he probably takes what you said as an insult to him. It is a slight fight or flight response due to his own fears. Also, if your father tells you he doesn't want to talk about something and you keep harping on him, he is going to get annoyed and feel threatened. I think most of use can sympathize with this. I am not a psychiatrist btw, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have read quite a bit about psychology and some is just common sense, but I am not an expert by any means.
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 26, 2021 4:42:30 GMT
Everybody does it sometimes. Some people are worse than others. I am somewhere in the middle. I can be very mean when I am in a bad mood. Of course many miserable people project onto others. Sometimes it is because they want other people to be as miserable as them, because they are jealous that other people aren't miserable. Yeah for sure... as long as you are self aware though, you can keep those moments to a minimum and apologize. When its a trend becomes a problem Well, I have found that many people aren't as self-aware as you would think. There are some people who do just become bitter assholes. I myself have a constant back and forth in my mind with this and have to remember to keep myself in check. It takes a ton of self-reflection and practice. I like that line in The Dark Knight, because I think Joker had a very painful past and has become a cynic and a nihilist and wants to basically make society as horrible as he is. More to the point I guess is that he is convinced that everyone is horrible deep down and wants to prove that. He wants to prove himself right. He was able to do that with Harvey Dent. He is genuinely surprised when the people on the ferries don't blow each other up.
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Post by langdona on Aug 26, 2021 5:04:36 GMT
Yeah I see how slaves would be angry and that's justified. That's not what I was really getting at here though. Was thinking about how miserable people will sometimes project their unhappiness onto other people when they really don't deserve it. I don't think people have the right to insult others voicing concern just because they think that person is somehow controlling them. Its like an anti-vax person getting all angry and mean when someone says they should get the vaccine. They don't wanna be controlled. They probably feel lack of control in their lives in general and cling to something stupid like not taking the vaccine as an important statement of their personal liberty. Just an example I'm going to add more because I love exploring this type of psychological stuff, in part because I am in a constant battle with my own emotions. Clinical depression, extreme social anxiety, rage issues etc. Talking about this stuff and thinking about it can cause you to assess yourself better. Most people don't want to think about it too much. It is too painful for some people I think. You criticizing your parents is pointing out their flaws and forcing them to think about their own miserable situation. That is the more likely reason that your father insults you, because he probably takes what you said as an insult to him. It is a slight fight or flight response due to his own fears. Also, if your father tells you he doesn't want to talk about something and you keep harping on him, he is going to get annoyed and feel threatened. I think most of use can sympathize with this. I am not a psychiatrist btw, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have read quite a bit about psychology and some is just common sense, but I am not an expert by any means. Yeah I agree about him taking it as an insult.. I think its some kind of knee jerk reaction. He does continously do it though...so instead of being an asshole that nobody wants to be around...he should do some self reflection and work on himself. I'm not perfect at all but at least I try to fix things. Its selfish to just act whatever way you want...not caring about the consequences to your health or to others and then bitch(and refuse to think about it) when someone points it out that you should change. I don't harp on things, I do come from a place of concern. |
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 26, 2021 5:20:58 GMT
I'm going to add more because I love exploring this type of psychological stuff, in part because I am in a constant battle with my own emotions. Clinical depression, extreme social anxiety, rage issues etc. Talking about this stuff and thinking about it can cause you to assess yourself better. Most people don't want to think about it too much. It is too painful for some people I think. You criticizing your parents is pointing out their flaws and forcing them to think about their own miserable situation. That is the more likely reason that your father insults you, because he probably takes what you said as an insult to him. It is a slight fight or flight response due to his own fears. Also, if your father tells you he doesn't want to talk about something and you keep harping on him, he is going to get annoyed and feel threatened. I think most of use can sympathize with this. I am not a psychiatrist btw, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have read quite a bit about psychology and some is just common sense, but I am not an expert by any means. Yeah I agree about him taking it as an insult.. I think its some kind of knee jerk reaction. He does continously do it though...so instead of being an asshole that nobody wants to be around... he should do some self reflection and work on himself. I'm not perfect at all but at least I try to fix things. Its selfish to just act whatever way you want...not caring about the consequences to your health or to others and then bitch(and refuse to think about it) when someone points it out that you should change. I don't harp on things, I do come from a place of concern. You have to realize that some people have reached a point of no return in their mind. They no longer care. There is a point where you have to give up or you will just cause yourself to become more miserable. You got to let go in some cases. You also have to realize that everyone isn't the same. Some people are stronger than other people. There are people who have run out of fucks to give. I struggle with this every day. I have become borderline indifferent to what happens to me and I am trying to hang on tightly to caring about what happens to other people. I say that, because if that goes away then I have nothing left to live for. When you are existing just for the sake of existing then what is even the point? Harping on things can come from a place of concern. Harping on something just means that you keep bringing it up. If that isn't what you are doing then I take that back. You could be doing it and not even realizing that you are coming off a certain way. Part of everyone's problems is that it is very difficult to see ourselves from the perspective of other people. Self-awareness has a limit. People have to want to change. You can only do so much.
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Post by langdona on Aug 26, 2021 5:34:42 GMT
Yeah I agree about him taking it as an insult.. I think its some kind of knee jerk reaction. He does continously do it though...so instead of being an asshole that nobody wants to be around... he should do some self reflection and work on himself. I'm not perfect at all but at least I try to fix things. Its selfish to just act whatever way you want...not caring about the consequences to your health or to others and then bitch(and refuse to think about it) when someone points it out that you should change. I don't harp on things, I do come from a place of concern. You have to realize that some people have reached a point of no return in their mind. They no longer care. There is a point where you have to give up or you will just cause yourself to become more miserable. You got to let go in some cases. You also have to realize that everyone isn't the same. Some people are stronger than other people. There are people who have run out of fucks to give. I struggle with this every day. I have become borderline indifferent to what happens to me and I am trying to hang on tightly to caring about what happens to other people. I say that, because if that goes away then I have nothing left to live for. When you are existing just for the sake of existing then what is even the point? Harping on things can come from a place of concern. Harping on something just means that you keep bringing it up. If that isn't what you are doing then I take that back. You could be doing it and not even realizing that you are coming off a certain way. Part of everyone's problems is that it is very difficult to see ourselves from the perspective of other people. Self-awareness has a limit. People have to want to change. You can only do so much. Yeah, thank you for the reply and sharing your perspective. appreciate it. I do wanna reply to this more and hear more about you, you seem kinda interesting... I'm just actually really tired right now lol. Dont be offended pleasexD I'll come bsck and reply tomorrow hopefully. I get pretty busy |
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Post by moviemouth on Aug 26, 2021 5:37:34 GMT
I'm going to add more because I love exploring this type of psychological stuff, in part because I am in a constant battle with my own emotions. Clinical depression, extreme social anxiety, rage issues etc. Talking about this stuff and thinking about it can cause you to assess yourself better. Most people don't want to think about it too much. It is too painful for some people I think. You criticizing your parents is pointing out their flaws and forcing them to think about their own miserable situation. That is the more likely reason that your father insults you, because he probably takes what you said as an insult to him. It is a slight fight or flight response due to his own fears. Also, if your father tells you he doesn't want to talk about something and you keep harping on him, he is going to get annoyed and feel threatened. I think most of use can sympathize with this. I am not a psychiatrist btw, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I have read quite a bit about psychology and some is just common sense, but I am not an expert by any means. Yeah I agree about him taking it as an insult.. I think its some kind of knee jerk reaction. He does continously do it though...so instead of being an asshole that nobody wants to be around...he should do some self reflection and work on himself. I'm not perfect at all but at least I try to fix things. Its selfish to just act whatever way you want...not caring about the consequences to your health or to others and then bitch(and refuse to think about it) when someone points it out that you should change. I don't harp on things, I do come from a place of concern. Have you told your father that his insult hurt your feelings and it is making you lose respect for him? Have you asked him whether he wants to change or wants things to get better? There are people who like wallowing in their own misery. That get a twisted pleasure from it. This is a real thing. Is he the kind of person who you can even sit down and have a discussion with? Based on what you have said it seems not. I want to help, but I don't know how you would get around this without him getting annoyed and angry every time and just walking away. He seems very stubborn.
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