After seeing the clips of Hillary Clinton making excuses for losing the election and seeing the list of her 24 excuses on Fox News, I thought “Someone should list those excuses to the tune of ‘My Favorite Things’” So, what the heck, I did it myself. For your amusement:
The Hillary Clinton Excuses Song
(To the tune of “My Favorite Things” - with apologies to Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II)
Hackers from Russia and letters from Comey
Bad polling numbers, worse advice from cronies
Voters who were such misogynist pigs
These are the reasons I didn’t win big.
Voter suppression in sneaky Wisconsin
Fake news spewed out by those mean Macedonians
Wikileaks airing our dirty laundry
They’re why election night just sucked for me.
9 of 10 films on Netflix were against me
Demos weren’t making the right documen’trys
Barrack had two terms, and that wasn’t fair
That’s why I lost to the guy with the hair.
Losing just bites,
Pow’r-less-ness stings
Makes me feel so sad
So I list excuse from a up to z
And then I don’t feel so bad.
I was First Lady and State Secretary
He was a moron, who was downright scary
Everyone swore I was going to win
Can’t believe I wasn’t elected queen.
(pauses, and weakly says “I meant president, of course.")
Anti-Americans, F.B.I. dimwits
Low info voters, and suburban women
People who wanted change, and cable news
Made that jerk win, and much worse, made me lose.
My e-mail scandal was such a non-starter,
But it was treated like it was Pearl Harbor
Facebook and Twitter had it in for me
All of them cost me my Presidency.
So I make all
These excuses
To escape the fact
That, simply put, I was the worst candidate
The Democrats could have had.